Fasten your seat belts: 'Snakes on a Plane' is a bumpy ride

Atlanta Journal-Constitution ^ | August 18, 2006 | Bob Longino

[Cecily]

Here we are at "Snakes on a Plane" and ... what was that?

That over there. It moved. It looks like a wire, but it moved.

Hey, something almost touched that guy's foot.

It's a snake! I know it! They're coming now! Pick your feet up! They're here!

Mister Pilot, please stop hitting at that snake slithering over the control panel. Put that clip board down, sir. If you keep hitting at that snake something bad is going to happen. I'm sure of it.

Don't ... don't. If you don't stop, man, I'll come up to that movie screen and slap you all the way to China. I don't like snakes.

I knew it. He hit the air bag controls. They've dropped in the cabin and now all the snakes are loose!

I see a cobra! A rattler! They're here! They're everywhere! Dozens of 'em. They're in that woman's face. Oh, they bit that lady over there. Oh, they bit her again. Stop it! Stop it now!

Help me! Help me, Mace Windu! Save me, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi!

It's snakes on that ever-lovin' plane!

Oh, why do I have to be here? Why do I have to sit through this? I don't like snakes.

Oh, mama. They said there's gonna be 450 snakes in this movie! I lost count after 10. There's big ones, little ones, coiling ones, spitting ones, hissing ones. They're ridin' the drink cart down the aisle!

[RoseofTexas]

Did someone say SNAKES?!

[INSENSITIVE GUY]

CNN is running a poll on this now!86%do NOT intend to see it as of now.

[in the Arena]

Word has it they stole the plot...

[finnman69]

I dare them to play United 93 inflight

[The Blitherer]

That's pretty funny. I don't remember him saying that.

People don't seem to get it. Its not about a good movie. Its not even about an okay movie. Its about getting drunk with your friends, sitting in a theater and roaring at the screen every time Jackson drop the F-bomb or a snake bites someone.

[weegee]

Looks like they consider snakes evil:

http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=6259

What should I recite if I see a snake in my dream?

Answer 6259 2002-07-31

If one sees an evil dream, he/she should recite 'Laa hawla walaa Quwwata
illaa billaah', spit lightly towards the direction one was sleeping and
change the direction of sleeping.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

[weegee]

Or drinking IN the theater every time a snake bites someone.

[weegee]

I dare them to play Barbra Streisand BEACHES inflight...

[weegee]

The interested people are ALREADY at the movie.

[Xenalyte]

People don't seem to get it. Its not about a good movie. Its not even about an okay movie. Its about getting drunk with your friends, sitting in a theater and roaring at the screen every time Jackson drop the F-bomb or a snake bites someone.

Testify!

[Hand em their arse]

This movie is actually a sequel to the original "Snakes On A Plane" that came out in '92

[The Blitherer]

Or drinking IN the theater every time a snake bites someone.

My friends and I were going to go to the Arclight in Hollywood so we could drink in the theater, but they're not playing it there. Hense, we must get smashed BEFORE the movie, which of course is less enjoyable, but equally as effective. :-)

[Cecily]

In other words, catharsis. The ancient Greeks knew from human drama.

[discostu]

Let's see, 14% of 280 million people times an average ticket price of $6.40 = $250 million domestic gross. Doesn't sound too bad.

Remember the vast majority of people don't see any 1 randomly selected movie, even gigantic blockbusters. This probably won't be a gigantic blockbuster, but it didn't cost much either.

[weegee]

RIPPED FROM MODERN HEADLINES...

Barking Moonbats On A Plane

[headsonpikes]

Stop me before I see this movie!

A good review, actually.

[weegee]

Snake on a plane...

[Zionist Conspirator]

I wouldn't be so sure he has a history of meeting his maker by the hands of animals.

But snakes don't have hands. I see a loophole!

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Yeah, the Gremlins had a sense of humor about them... Look at Hillary. LOL

I thought she drove a Yugo?

;^]

[Cheburashka]

I imagine to snakes this movie would be like their "Animal House".