Posted on 08/15/2006 6:24:16 AM PDT by steve-b
For Cindy Nooney's 3-year-old twin boys, playing with the Thomas the Train set at their local bookstore in Southern California is a major thrill. Jack and Sam push Thomas, Arthur and friends down the track, they run around the table, jump up and down — and, of course, they squeeeaal.
Nooney expects as much in the children's section of the store. But on a recent afternoon, she was surprised by an employee who confronted her, calling her darling Jack a tyrant.
"He was a little loud but this is a children's section," says Nooney. "They run a noisy, cavernous bookstore but they don’t want kids to make any noise? It just seems ridiculous and leads me to believe that they don't want kids, they want silent kids."
The bookstore is not the only place that likes quiet, controlled children — and isn't afraid to say so. Across the nation, there are signs of a low-burning uprising against children supposedly behaving badly in public.
Eateries from California to Massachusetts have posted signs on doors and menus saying "We love children, especially when they are tucked in chairs and well behaved" or "Kids must use indoor voices." In North Carolina an online petition was started last year to establish child-free restaurants — the petition loosely compared dining with children to dining with cigarette smoke....
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Gosh, what a wonderful in-law you must be.
I'm off this thread...my faith in Freepers is sinking fast.
Very easy. You TEACH them. And then you enforce the rules. It's simple really.
> Likewise, in restaurants children can and should
> be expected to use inside voices and not run around
> bothering others. Parents have a duty to others not
> to let their children disturb them: children can
> learn there is a time and a place for running
> and yelling, and a time for restraining themselves.
Indeed. But learning is a process. Just don't just flip a switch and suddently your child is perfect. Likewise, despite another's comments, you don't just explain it to the child before you get to the restaurant and then have them behave as requested. And so, during this process, kids will cross the line and behave loudly. And that is part of life.
> > Sigh. And how do they learn???
>
> Very easy. You TEACH them. And then you
> enforce the rules. It's simple really.
And how do you teach them? Answer: By correcting their errant behavior. And do they learn instantly? No, it takes a few cycles, and with some kids, it takes a lot of cycles. And during this process THEY WILL MAKE NOISE. And if you look down on those parents who are going through this phase, you are failing to understand what parenting is all about.
You are correct! My firstborn is as you describe...very well-mannered and polite...quiet and respectful. I imagine I had a little to do with it, but a lot is just his personality. But he's reserved...doesn't make friends easily, so sometimes my motherly heart worries about that.
My second jedi is quite another story. He takes a lot more effort, tends to be impulsive. When he was a tiny baby in arms, he'd want down and just flip backwards! That attitude has remained. But he's also the more adventurous, outgoing and friendly child, makes friends easily and it constantly on the go. In this case, my motherly heart worries about his lack of restraint sometimes...
I wish there was a happy medium! LOL! But they're both good kids in their own way and although I worry, I also figure they'll likely turn out just fine.
You have no idea how many times I have been out alone with my husband at a store and had a mother in line behind us apologize for her children acting up or making noise. (usually when we've been thinking how cute the kids are too) I have found those apologizing for noise usually have it amplified in their minds, because we will barely notice it.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
Trust me. The lady in question has ignored this problem for years. My wife is a preschool teacher (3 year olds) and they all know the difference between inside and outside voices by Christmas. If a 3 year-old can learn it, so can an 8 year-old.
I raised two kids and I learned you should never make excuses for bad behavior. Bad behavior should be challenged, not ignored.
Consistent training did.
We used the same techniques my parents used on their 4 daughters. It works.
bump
No one said they learn instantly.
based on the local whole foods store. It was a homosexual.
> Bad behavior should be challenged, not ignored.
Quite. But it will happen. If it didn't, why would we be talking about how people should respond to it??? The fact remains that kids will make noise in inappropriate places, and other people will just have to deal with it. Those people have a right to be upset if the parent does nothing or, worse, encourages the child, but they really ought to understand that it's still going to happen.
For example, a kids shouts one word at the top of his lungs. Do you take him out of the restaurant? Do you spank him? Probably not, as both of these, believe me, will create far more noise than the act you're trying to prevent. And then he does it again. And again. And finally, you act, and drag his little ass outside for a telling off and perhaps a smacked hiney. Of course, he screams all the way, and the elite in the place turn and shake their heads, complaining about breeders, while a frightening number of Freepers apparently start muttering about how this never happened in their day.
What a state of affairs! Parent who are doing their best are caught between the child haters on one side and those who think all children can be perfect on the other.
They won't learn if you make excuses for them. They will learn that you will defend their bad behavior.
When my kids were "too young" to understand their bad behavior, I removed them from the situation to spare others from their behavior. But if they were too young to understand their bad behavior, they were too young to run loose.
LOL. I LOVE that commercial. It's on my top ten favorites of all time.
I love kids, but it does a great job of exploding the romantic misconceptions about having children.
> Luck had nothing to do with it.
Believe me, if you had a daughter than misbehaved in a restaurant only once, you got lucky. Or you didn't eat out very often.
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