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Al-gebran
email | unknown | unknown

Posted on 08/06/2006 5:13:02 PM PDT by kralcmot

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzales said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: algebra; bush; gonzales; kitties; math; ozone; sleepercell; troll
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if "x" is to "y" as "y" is to "z", what is "a?"
1 posted on 08/06/2006 5:13:04 PM PDT by kralcmot
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To: kralcmot

IBFT Zot


2 posted on 08/06/2006 5:14:22 PM PDT by jim_trent
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To: jim_trent

Lighten up, I dont care who you are, this is funny.


3 posted on 08/06/2006 5:16:00 PM PDT by Concho (IRS--Americas real terrorist organization.)
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To: kralcmot

Z*O*T=B*Y*E


4 posted on 08/06/2006 5:16:07 PM PDT by msnimje (Uni-FAIL - UN peace keeping force in Lebanon has lived up to its name.)
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To: kralcmot

As opposed to the Catholic sect composed of the set of all Cardinal numbers.


5 posted on 08/06/2006 5:16:13 PM PDT by saganite (Billions and billions and billions-------and that's just the NASA budget!)
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To: kralcmot

algebra
1551, from M.L. from Arabic al jebr "reunion of broken parts" as in computation, used 9c. by Baghdad mathematician Abu Ja'far Muhammad ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi as the title of his famous treatise on equations ("Kitab al-Jabr w'al-Muqabala" "Rules of Reintegration and Reduction"), which also introduced Arabic numerals to the West. The accent shifted 17c. from second syllable to first. The word was used in Eng. 15c.-16c. to mean "bone-setting," probably from the Arabs in Spain.


6 posted on 08/06/2006 5:17:03 PM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (NYT Headline: 'Protocols of the Learned Elders of CBS: Fake But Accurate, Experts Say.')
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To: kralcmot

And the anti-derivative of this post is ZOT!


7 posted on 08/06/2006 5:17:08 PM PDT by MikefromOhio (aka MikeinIraq)
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To: kralcmot

Algebran?


8 posted on 08/06/2006 5:17:12 PM PDT by AppyPappy (If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
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To: jim_trent

Haha! The kitties will triangulate on your locale, and many will postulate as to an obvious lack of humor!


9 posted on 08/06/2006 5:18:36 PM PDT by ARealMothersSonForever (Political troglodyte with a partisan axe to grind)
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To: kralcmot

Al-Gore-Rhythms??


10 posted on 08/06/2006 5:22:57 PM PDT by ButThreeLeftsDo (Jack Murtha. BAH!)
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To: kralcmot
an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher

No doubt NEA member, hence desrving of arrest.

IBTZ?

11 posted on 08/06/2006 5:24:09 PM PDT by JohnCliftn (In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Good Will. - Churchill)
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To: kralcmot

I shall fight against al-gebra to my last breath.


12 posted on 08/06/2006 5:25:21 PM PDT by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: Concho

No, it isn't funny at all.


13 posted on 08/06/2006 5:28:34 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: kralcmot

What of Al-Gebra's wicked cousin, Cal-Culus? Any word on his capture?


14 posted on 08/06/2006 5:31:33 PM PDT by GW and Twins Pawpaw (Sheepdog for Five [My grandkids are way more important than any lefty's feelings!])
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To: Concho
you are right on...

too many folks need to take an asprin and go for a long walk...

15 posted on 08/06/2006 5:33:59 PM PDT by pointsal (Q)
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To: kralcmot
if "x" is to "y" as "y" is to "z", what is "a?"

What is a what?

16 posted on 08/06/2006 5:34:48 PM PDT by Grut
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To: Grut

a?


17 posted on 08/06/2006 5:42:48 PM PDT by dhs12345
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To: nopardons

I was just a boy when the Al-gebran came to my village in their Al-gebran helicopters. The Al-gebran fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the firey black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats... screaming for help. As quickly as they'd come, the Al-gebran were gone. It was on that day... I put a jihad on them.... And if you don't believe it, then you better kill me now... cause I'll put a jihad on you too.


18 posted on 08/06/2006 5:46:22 PM PDT by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: kralcmot

"Basketball is a peaceful planet!"

(LOL -- I love esoteric humor)


19 posted on 08/06/2006 5:47:35 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Creation "science" has a final answer--adherence to the scriptures. All other data are discarded.)
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To: jim_trent

relax

the pluses are not going to minus you


20 posted on 08/06/2006 5:49:06 PM PDT by kralcmot (my tagline died with Terri)
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