Posted on 07/15/2006 4:49:25 PM PDT by Pokey78
NEWLYWEDS in America are “meshing” their names in an attempt to banish the sexism that comes when a woman takes her husband’s surname. Much as the tabloid newspapers have christened film stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes “Tomkat”, couples are opting to mix and match elements of their names as a sign of togetherness.
Gary Ruderman, 43, a playwright and architect, got married last year to Jodi Wilgoren, a writer for The New York Times. The couple now go by the name of Rudoren. Ruderman’s wife-to-be first raised the subject, saying that she would love to share his name but on an egalitarian basis.
“I have a lot of respect for Jodi so I considered it,” he said. “Some clients couldn’t wrap their heads around it, but very few people I talked to said, ‘Oh that’s stupid’.”
One friend teased Ruderman that “married life has taken the ‘man’ out of you” but even his parents came around to the idea. “They felt it was a little bit unusual, but I think they were just happy that, at 42, I was getting married,” he said. “My mother has taken to introducing me as her son Gary Rudoren.”
Jodi Rudoren, 35, ruled out hyphenation when her nephew pointed out that “our name wouldn’t fit on the back of a sports shirt”.
One name-meshing pioneer is Antonio Villaraigosa, the mayor of Los Angeles, who combined his name of Villar with his wife’s name of Raigosa in 1988.
“I was planning to take his name,” his wife Corina recalled. “But he said, ‘Really? But Raigosa is your name’.
“He said, ‘I’ve been thinking about it and why don’t we combine our names to make one name? If you are willing to take my name, I should be willing to take yours’.”
Villaraigosa recalled that “guys made fun of me” but the voters of Los Angeles have long since forgotten it.
The feminist custom of retaining one’s maiden name is going out of fashion. According to Claudia Goldin, an economics professor at Harvard University, the number of college-educated women in Massachusetts who kept their original name at marriage dropped from 23% in 1990 to 17% in 2000.
“It’s gone the same way as feminism,” Goldin said. “There has been a shift even among liberals towards more family-oriented values.”
Those who begin by hyphenating their surnames often give up, Goldin added: “They have these long names and then they have problems with the school district or the plumber. It gets too hard.”
Yikes! She sure let herself go.
Oh, and our "meshed" name?
"Lusting"!
NO THANKS!
Hmmm, I have family named after two categories going back several hundred years. Everyone today associates Jewell as a new name but no, got that one too, and an Opal. And one Alabama. Early American trendsetters!
How about Hillary Rodint, since she's a 'Rat?
Dollars-to-doughnuts they p*ss sittin' down.
I once knew a family that had two boys: Hunter and Gunner. (Yes, Gunner.) They found out that #3 was going to be a girl, and they really agonized over how to stay within the theme. I can't recall what they decided on.
My last name has been around, in similar forms, since at least 1517, I see no reason to change it now. I know where I came from, I hope my grandchildren will, as well.
My father used to work with a guy who hated his parents so much, he took his wife's name.
Har!!
Pretty stupid considering that 50% of marriages today fail (the ones in the blue states). So after the divorce you're stuck with a stupid name, kinda let getting that person's name tattooed on you.
I especially loved when my old liberal friends tried to find me after my marriage (needless to say they had to work pretty hard!!) the horror I heard in their voices when they exclaimed, "I would never had thought you of all people would take your husbands last name!"
I laughed, said it was a great honor and that I was blessed to have such a great man honor me by asking me to be his wife. Of course that was the last I heard from them. (It was nearly as seamless as telling a lib I voted for George Bush both times :-). LOL.
How avant-garde.
Call me old fashioned, but I was proud to take my husbands name when we got married! I betcha this idea came from someone who was about to marry a "Focker"!
Lame article... They come up with two lousy couples (the Villaraigosas and Rudorens) and declare a trend.
If my girlfriend asked to have a hyphenated name, that would lead me to doubt our compatibility.
We both have issues with the submission concept, at least as typically understood (we are taking pre-engagement counseling with my pastor right now). Both the man and wife are to submit one to another; it is not as if the man get to control the wife. They both give of their talents to serve the other person. That is what Biblical submission is.
Thankfully, she has said she will gladly take my name, and she hates hyphenated names. :)
Geneaology is going to be a real mess in future, what with all these hyphenated names, new surnames, common-law couples, multiple divorces and homosexual "marriages."
Are architects liberals?
the number of college-educated women in Massachusetts who kept their original name at marriage dropped from 23% in 1990 to 17% in 2000.
And we all know how smart and ethical people are after they have been to college.
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