Sensitive Superman Returns(dumbed down girlie-man version slacker metrosexual) [spoiler]

http://www.frontpagemag.com ^ | June 28, 2006 | Debbie Schlussel

[Para-Ord.45]

So Lois Lane is a single mother . . . and a slut. That's the most disturbing part of "Superman Returns," heavily marketed to kids and in theaters tonight.

Or is that "Lois and Her Feelings," co-starring Supe? That's what this dull, 2-hour 33-minute long latest rendition in the Superman series seemed like.

A better version would have been more relevant. It's great that new Superman Brandon Routh saluted America's troops as "the real Super Heroes," a tie-in with Warner Brothers Pictures' effort to send a million plus postcards of support to troops overseas.

But put your money where your mouth is. In World War II, Superman's comic book inventors had him fighting the Nazis. Today, they won't dare show him fighting contemporary Nazis--Islamofascists. Lex Luthor working with Al-Qaeda terrorists, with both evil forces getting defeated--that would have been dynamic and exciting, a great plot. But, unfortunately, too politically incorrect, current, and exciting for the Hollywood culturatti.

Some have asked whether Superman is still relevant post-9/11. He would be . . . if he was fighting the post-9/11 enemy and being a man while doing so.

Instead, we got a dumbed down, girlie-man version of Superman in "Superman Returns." Like every sensitive, slacker metrosexual, Supe's gone off for five years to "discover himself." In the meantime, the dullest Lois Lane ever has a child out of wedlock. Nice message to send to your kids who will be begging to see this. No smoking lectures by Superman and plugs for tofu sandwiches got a lot of play though. Script-writers were more concerned with that kind of health than the splendid problems single motherhood brings.

In what is more reminiscent of a Maury Povich "Who's the Daddy?" show than a Superman plot, Lois apparently slept around and thinks the cutesy kid--very annoying and distracting in the film--is her fiance's child, not that of the other guy she was simultaneously sleeping with--the Man of Steel.

Hard to still call him that, because in this film he's far less muscular. Even the formerly bright red of his cape is now a muted, dingy brownish-burgundy. All masculinity is toned down, in favor of the testosterone of career woman Lois, who doesn't believe in marriage. Too busy riding the space shuttle.

That hardly makes her spectacular. Kate Bosworth has nothing on Margot Kidder (aside from her far-left wackoism) or even Terry Hatcher. Their renditions of Ms. Lane were far superior. Bosworth's is as ho-hum as the lady at the supermarket looking for her Clairol fix. The only thing that seems apropos is Lane's Pulitzer Prize for her "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman." It's the work of unethical journalism--a "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" by a jilted lover against her boyfriend.

In the real world's Daily Planet a/k/a The New York Times, the "Pulitzer-level" stuff is "Why Al-Qaeda is Less Dangerous to the World Than President Bush."

And by the way, there's no Internet in this movie--a glaring absence when Lois' editor is lecturing about what sells newspapers. Uh, nothing sells newspapers these days. They're in rapid decline.

There are no memorable lines like the ones Margot Kidder's Lois uttered to Christopher Reeve's Supe: "You've got me? Who's got you?"

More like, who's got this movie?

With a $300 million budget, Warner Brothers must have a hit with this film. There's so much marketing hype and so many product tie-ins, it will be hard for it to fail. And with newcomer Brandon Routh's spot on impersonation of Christopher Reeve playing Clark Kent/Supe, he's not as difficult to adjust to as Bosworth's Lois. His imitation invites the comparison, and he doesn't live up to it. Christopher Reeve can smile from the grave that he died undefeated champion of Superman portrayals.

"Supe Returns" writers also paid too much attention to the accuracy of minute and unimportant details, such as the fact that Kryptonite was found in Addis Ababa. But who cares about those things?

Is that more important than the messages projected to America's kids--especially girls who may want to emulate Lois Lane? And is it more important than an exciting, believable, and relevant plot? Hardly.

Still, aside from it's dullness and the poor examples it sets for kids, "Superman Returns" is a fun, escapist film.

But nothing to write home--or even, Krypton--about.

[longtermmemmory]

IOW PCuperman.

This monstrosity was in the works for years.

The been jonesing to redu the superman costume,

They TRIED to make the jimmy olson character a homosexual but had to back off when fans objected.

The notion of this PATHETIC feminist Lois Lane makes me want to see this turkey even less.

No wonder the trailers are emphasising the special effects, the story line must really suck.

So far it seems there is nothing super about superman.

Obviously whoever wrote this script has no idea about the history of superman or patriotism for that matter.

[Landry Fan]

barf! that is lousy to change "American Way" and replace it with "all that stuff."

I'll stay home.

[longtermmemmory]

Don't forget "superman and the quest for peace" THAT was a PC mega turkey.

You are absolutly right, I don't think hollyweird has the intelectual capacity to understand "truth, justice, and the american way."

Instead we get "mouse, estrogen, and the neutered way" version of superman.

[Landry Fan]

Hi Jack. Not sure about Walter Reed on Friday night. If I feel better I'd love to be there.

As for FF, I like the actor who was Mr. Fantastic. Ioan Something or other. His name is Welsh and I can never spell it. He rocks.

[Jack Deth]

Obviously whoever wrote this script has no idea about the history of superman or patriotism for that matter.

Actually, Kevin Smith of "Clerks" and "Dogma" fame was contacted in the early 90's to write a script for a Superman film. Back in the days when Nicholas Cage was slated to play Superman.

He tried to play it by the books and Mythos of the Son Of Krypton and the Man Of Steel. Every time he sent in a draft, it was massacred by the director (Babs Streisand's ex, Jon Peters; who wanted to do away with the red and blue suit and cape right off the bat) producers, product tie-in people and legal suits.

Smith finally got fed up, took their money and walked away from the project. I guess it only spiraled downhill from there.

Jack.

[Bratch]

that is lousy to change "American Way" and replace it with "all that stuff."

See, I think this is the media trying to create a controversy that isn't there.

The line was used following Superman's initial appearance (after a five-year absence), when Perry White asks his reporters, "Politics? Does he still stand for Truth, Justice, and all that stuff?"

It was perfectly within both his character and the flow of the story. Of course, if Superman himself had said it, it would have an entirely different context. But he didn't.

And I thought it was a wonderful movie, though some of the violence and situations are too intense for extremely young children, IMO. I heartily recommend it.

[Landry Fan]

I'm glad to hear that :)

Thanks for the mini-review.

[longtermmemmory]

Heads up folks, it seems we have some viral advertising promoters on the site.

[Sentis]

I disagree with most of what is said and while I wish Superman was fighting terorists in the movie this stuff about the slutty Lois is wrong.

This Lois is no slut. In Superman 2 Lois and Clark get married and have sex while he is human. Lois' memory of those events are wiped clean and Superman leaves (Superman 3&4 never happened). Ok Lois ends up pregnant and the man that made her that way is gone. What does she do does she run out and get on welfare? No she finds a man and gets engaged Thats the right thing to do. When Superman comes back does she just throw away the fiancee that has raised her son and jump into Superman's arms like he wants her to do. No NO NO she calls her fiancee a good man and for the sake of her son stays with a man she does not love as much as she loves superman. My GOD that is a conservative value. Everyone attacking this movie for Lois having a child out of wedlock are wrong.

Now Superman going to find himself? If you were the last person alive and you thought just maybe you could find more people would you go look. What happened in Superman 2 convinced Clark he could never be with Lois (although he has changed his mind) so he goes and looks for other slike him. Thats not finding yourself.


I could not tell if the filmmaker was making this a Christian Allegory or mocking Christian allegories. There is so much of the religious in this movie.

Superman tells Lois at one point. "You said the world doesn't need salvation but why do I hear the world calling out for a savior."

There is the scene about the Father being the Son and the Son being the Father.

The scene where Superman is stabbed in his side and his beating were straight out of the passion.

There is just scene after scene where Superman is shown as a Christ figure and it isn't a mistake these things are there intentionally. Despite the fact that this was made by serious leftists and religion haters I felt a very religious reaction to the movie. I think maybe the film maker tried to mock Christ and in doing so created a movie that really uplifts. Much like Lion the witch and the wardrobe is allegory the story seems so right.

[Sentis]

Superman doesnt say that Perry White does. What would the owner of a MSM outlet say today?

[Clemenza]

It all started with that G-D awful song "Superman" by Five for Fighting that made him wimpier than a convention of James Taylor fans.

[Clemenza]

http://www.superdickery.com/dick/1.html

[Sentis]

She was married to Clark Kent in Superman 2 when she got pregnant. I think they were married at least I know he gave her a ring and I remember something about them being married been awhile since I saw the movie. So does that get a pass :)

[Mr. Jeeves]

I'm waiting for Captain Jack Sparrow. ;)

[longtermmemmory]

Sorry but ignoring the moral points of the plot lines does not help the value of the movie.

It is worth six to ten dollars to PAY for politically correct feminist propaganda which denegrates an American Icon? I think not no matter how "snazzy" the special effects.

[driftdiver]

"Superman doesnt say that Perry White does. What would the owner of a MSM outlet say today?"

The quotes indicate the movie not the person.

MSM would say Superman is a evil creation of the hatemongering radical right wing who hate gays and refuse to believe in global warming.

[Clemenza]

[driftdiver]

"Superman doesnt say that Perry White does."

And by worrying about who says it you are missing the point.

[Sentis]

Have you seen the movie. I have a problem believing a lIberal made this movie. Hell it was full of conservative values. If you don't believe me go see it. If you dont go see it your missing the point or never got the point in the first place.

[Begin]

The coolest incarnation of Supes has got to be the animated version in Justice League Unlimited.