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The shocking secret of 'The Da Vinci Code': It stinks
St. Paul Pioneer Press ^ | May 21, 2006 | DOMINIC P. PAPATOLA

Posted on 05/23/2006 9:42:06 AM PDT by Caleb1411

Lost in all the brouhaha about "The Da Vinci Code" is a simple observation that seems to have gotten lost with all the protests and condemnations and threats of boycotts.

It's just not very good.

I'm a latecomer to this whole kerfuffle. Blissfully oblivious to the controversy, I didn't even know what the book was about until a couple of weeks ago, when I picked it up to kill some time on a long airplane flight. I wasn't more than 20 pages into Dan Brown's thriller when I realized what a woofer it was going to be.

Readable? You betcha. I cranked through almost the whole thing on a flight to San Francisco and back again. Reading "The Da Vinci Code" is like eating popcorn: You keep reaching into the bowl, hardly aware of what you're doing, and suddenly, you're through.

But good? Hardly. With 105 chapters — each about the length of a potty break — and sentence structures not too far removed from "See Dick run," the book seems to be written at about a sixth-grade readability level. The plot advances in a series of enough improbable "a-ha!" moments to burn through a couple of grosses of light bulbs. And the galloping, thinly strung conspiracy theory makes your typical Kennedy assassination theorist look scholarly by comparison.

To call the thing a piffle is to insult piffles.

The film breathlessly packs the book's 450 pages into about 2½ hours. Tom Hanks is a much more skeptical protagonist than you'll find in the book, and the cinematic version soft-pedals the whole church-as-thug idea, assigning most of the malevolent deeds to a rogue, beanie-bedecked "shadow council" of clerics instead of Mother Church herself. Still, the movie is, if anything, more laughably strung together than the book.

Does it offend? The book irked plenty of people — just take a peek on the Internet. And protests broke out around the world before the first frame of the film was shown to the public.

But as a practicing Catholic, I find the idea of corrupt churchmen and Holy Grails far less troubling than the insinuation that any person with any cartilage whatsoever in their spiritual spine would find "The Da Vinci Code" the least bit threatening to their faith.

Faith is the acceptance of things we can't see, after all, and the idea that someone would suddenly believe that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married just because "Da Vinci" actor Ian McKellen said so suggests a faith that probably wasn't all that strong to begin with.

But linking art and faith is a tricky thing. If you believe in the power of "The Passion of the Christ" to kindle passions in the hearts of the reverent, then I suppose you also have to believe in the power of "The Da Vinci Code" to make the faithful falter.

Art has a unique power to open eyes, to foster conversation and critical thinking, and it's no secret that that provocative power represents a threat to organizations that rely on unquestioning obedience to authority.

Which, I suppose, puts me in the position of defending "The Da Vinci Code." And I don't really want to do that: I mean, I was so embarrassed to be reading the book in public that I peeled off the dust jacket so I could pretend to be perusing, say, Proust.

I'd just feel a lot better if the art that provoked us was as rigorous and well made and profound as the questions it tries to ask. Neither the best-selling novel nor the movie rises to anywhere near that level. They're just pop-culture schlock.

Is Dan Brown responsible? Well, no. He's a novelist, not a prophet. He just wrote the book — it's the millions who bought "The Da Vinci Code" who turned it into the kind of a best-seller that would inevitably be spun off as a movie. With its bite-sized portions and its pretensions to intellectualism, it's the perfect, easy-to-settle-for menu item in our fast-food nation.

And so, maybe it's not a crisis of faith we should be worried about. Maybe it's a crisis of taste.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS: crapauthorcrapbook; davincicode; hysteriaoveramovie; piffle; sucksjustlikethebook
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To: dmz
What you call the idiot market might also be known as the entertainment market.

Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

But you can please feel free to look down your nose at the 45 million of us who bought/read the book and feel superior if you like.

Hey, being in the company of a huge number of dopes may make you look good by comparison, but it doesn't make you any smarter.

I read the Duh Vinci Code and recognized it for what it was immediately--formulaic garbage intended to make the historically ignorant feel like they've gained some "secret" knowledge.
61 posted on 05/23/2006 11:29:31 AM PDT by Antoninus (Ginty for US Senate in NJ -- Primary day is June 6)
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To: Froufrou

But you do find Pagels in the history section and her stuff is basically romantic fiction. Don't kid yourself. Many a Yale graduate will read Brown and think it is more nearly true than, say, Sir Walter Scot's "Ivanhoe." (Assuming, of course, that they have ever read "Ivanhoe")


62 posted on 05/23/2006 11:29:55 AM PDT by RobbyS ( CHIRHO)
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To: Froufrou
"Still, you won't find this novel anywhere but the 'fiction' section."

I know I know, it's just fiction...but consider this, what if someone were to write a book about someone who is very sacred to you in your own family. And this book is full of lies and half truths about that family member and saying things that could spread embarrassing false rumors about this person and your family. But the writer tells you don't worry it's just fiction. Would the fact that its just fiction lesson your passion for trying to get the truth out so people are not taken in by it, and maybe even try to do your part to convince people not to buy it?
63 posted on 05/23/2006 11:30:30 AM PDT by NavyCanDo
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To: RobbyS

I read it and found it to be what I look for in books: an easy read, entertaining and mildly intriguing. Like Grisham's Pelican Brief.

To think that anyone actually would make any more or less of it kind of scares me - it speaks volumes about We the Sheeple! ;o)


64 posted on 05/23/2006 11:32:06 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: capitalist229
"The Da Vinci Code" is Hollywood's response to "TPOTC". Hollywood always has to have the last Word.

Perhaps in this world...
65 posted on 05/23/2006 11:32:34 AM PDT by Antoninus (Ginty for US Senate in NJ -- Primary day is June 6)
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To: Caleb1411

As I have said before, here is guy who is so jet-lagged in Paris that he can't be woken up by the ringing phone. Once he is up he never again sleeps, eats, or takes a dump for more than 3 days. This is a plot????????????????????


66 posted on 05/23/2006 11:33:26 AM PDT by Doc Savage (Bueller?....Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?...Pelosi?...Pelosi?...Pelosi?...)
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To: NavyCanDo

When you put it that way, it's easy to see your point.

However, consider too that the church certainly has culpability in fathomless scandalous events...beginning with wars...ongoing with pedophilia...

I wouldn't speak for Brown, but I read quite a bit of that in his book, if only between the lines!


67 posted on 05/23/2006 11:34:48 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Doc Savage

~snicker!~ We're back on The Terminal again? And how brain-dead can Zeta Jones play?


68 posted on 05/23/2006 11:36:18 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: bicyclerepair

It's not the intelligence of Americans but the absolute unfaltering allegiance of the aetheistic and anti-catholic groups that pushed this comic book without pictures into "best seller" status.

Sadly they actually believe this book has merit, and that its conspiracies are fact.

Of course their knowledge of things spiritual are generally ignorant... so when someone presents a "gospel of Judas" or "da vinci code" to them that routinely and completely counters the very words of Christ himself.. well to them they can't see the hack for what it is... since they have and want no true perspective or knowledge.


69 posted on 05/23/2006 11:40:06 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: new cruelty

Oh God, that thing had an interesting premise, but it was horribly executed... if you saw the preview, you saw everything in that movie worth seeing.... It was aweful.


70 posted on 05/23/2006 11:41:18 AM PDT by HamiltonJay
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To: capitalist229
"The Da Vinci Code" is Hollywood's response to "TPOTC". Hollywood always has to have the last Word.

Hollywood's never figured out who really has the last Word.

71 posted on 05/23/2006 11:42:20 AM PDT by Caleb1411 ("These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." G. K. C)
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To: Froufrou
sad that Hanks finally is in a flop, though...

What about Opie...he has a flop, too. All I can call the director is Opie now...poor Opie he needs our prayer. I'll never go see another of his movies or Hanks. They've offended with this movie a majority of Americans.

72 posted on 05/23/2006 11:48:51 AM PDT by shield (A wise man's heart is at his RIGHT hand; but a fool's heart at his LEFT. Ecc. 10:2)
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To: Caleb1411
Folks, If I had an F'ING nickel for every time I have read this statement in the last week, I would take the whole purse and wager it on "Republicans retain control of the U.S. House of Representatives this Fall."

I'll take your Da Vinci and raise you a Passion.

Hollywood is pretty lame to think this convinces anyone other than ignorant goombas and assorted liberals.

A young man I know, not terribly devout, was dragged to this thing by his liberally-churched fiance who had read the book. He gave up debunking it to her after about 10 minutes because she saw how dumb it was and they both fell asleep halfway through because it was so boring and stupid.

His mother was content that she hadn't failed the lad entirely in his Christian upbringing.
73 posted on 05/23/2006 11:55:12 AM PDT by George W. Bush
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To: shield
Heheheh - I wonder if there's anyone who doesn't get the "Opie" reference. Of course, younger Freepers might remember him as "Richie Cunningham".

Oops - Happy Days was 20-30 years ago, too!

74 posted on 05/23/2006 11:56:56 AM PDT by Inspectorette
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To: Caleb1411
Almost unfair, it is. Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Well, not exactly. The word "disingenuous" comes to mind. The author, rather than attacking the book as most fundamentalists have done (ie: heresy, lies, blasphemy,etc), attacks it as a 6th grade reader. To suggest he, as a practicing Catholic was oblivious to the whole controvery is absurd. Then to say he read the whole book, while hiding the cover simply adds to his credibility issues. His agenda was to label the book unworthy for any reader.

But the 44 million who did buy and read it may feel otherwise. If you look on Brown's website, he lists a few of the numerous reviews of his book. They are from professional reviewers and other well known mystery writers, all showering the book with praise.

It was to me what it was intended to be, a better than average thriller. Books such as these are designed for entertainment, not education. For those Christians who are offended, use it as a means to generate discussion about Christianity. For those Christians who were not offended, fine, but participate in the discussion with other Christians.

75 posted on 05/23/2006 11:58:08 AM PDT by MACVSOG68
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To: Arkinsaw
languishing at $5.99 in the DVD store bargain bin along with Mars Attacks!

Hey, Mars Attacks! is a classic. Don't drag it down to the level of this Da Vinci thing. Just last week, Rush was laughing over it as he described some of the plot. Slim Pickens yodeling and Jack Nicholson as the (Dim-elected) Prez.
76 posted on 05/23/2006 11:58:11 AM PDT by George W. Bush
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To: shield
What about Opie...he has a flop, too.

So nowdays a movie that makes double what it cost to make, opening for $250 million worldwide the first weekend is a flop?

I'd love to know what a success is in your world.

77 posted on 05/23/2006 12:00:09 PM PDT by cryptical (Wretched excess is just barely enough.)
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To: Froufrou

I suggest you take a look at "The Dead Sea Conspiracy " by James K. Fitz patrick. To give you an idea of its contents I give you part of what is on the back cover:

God is dead. The Social Gospel. Liberation Theology. Neo-modernism. Massive defections from the priesthood. Deserted Convents. Teihard de Chardin.

Is there any connection? Sometimes the most tropubling questions can be asked only in a work of fiction.

What if secret archaeological evidence about the Resurrection and Aascsnsion of Jesus had been found among the Dead Sea scrolls.

What if a cabal within the most powerful order of priests in the Catholic Church [the Jesuits] was in possession of this secret.

What if Teihard deChardin was the central figure in this conspiracy.

You get the drift. But the author writes for "The Wanderer." so what we have here is pure fiction. Pure irony, here.


78 posted on 05/23/2006 12:01:37 PM PDT by RobbyS ( CHIRHO)
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To: Caleb1411
Have you ever read "Chariots of the Gods"? That's another book I found to be outrageous however it had the very same effect as The Da Vinci Code. The author of 'Chariots of the Gods' NEVER claimed it was fiction. You should have seen what this author did to Our Lord Jesus in it. Pretty much the same thing...claiming He wasn't divine. I'm a little surprised a movie wasn't made of this book.
79 posted on 05/23/2006 12:03:02 PM PDT by shield (A wise man's heart is at his RIGHT hand; but a fool's heart at his LEFT. Ecc. 10:2)
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To: RobbyS

Sounds to me like Fitzpatrick has some anthropology background, maybe a pretty fair amount, even. Sounds like a GREAT read!

Yeah, the best fiction has a grain of salt [from the dead sea, perhaps?]


80 posted on 05/23/2006 12:04:10 PM PDT by Froufrou
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