Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
I live in Virginia and don't remember anything like that; can you give some reference?
That's not true. The majority of sperm banks offer photos of the donor, both as a baby and an adult. They also offer 'open' donor agreements where the sperm donor can choose whether they want any future contact with children. Some donors even write letters to their future children.
I'm not sure it was Virgina. Let me go check an email...
Married a woman with two daughters. She always puts the girls first - and so do I!
The consequences of these stupid people will bear sour fruit indeed for us all.
I dated a guy who had a child (that didn't live with him). I didn't mind in the least bit. When his child visited, he kept emailing me saying things like he couldn't wait for his son to go home so we could date again. That was a huge turn-off as well as a big red flag, and we broke up not long after.
It's not Big Brother. It's the rest of us who are tired of paying for the dumb mistakes of halfwits who bring children without a father into the world, and think that's fine.
We all take up the slack for the women who naively think they can be mother and father to a child.
Assuming you mean they will seek government assistance, I encourage you to look at the statistics of those who choose to be single mothers. They are financially secure and will not rely on the government for support.
I don't mind progress, but some of these people have a sinister agenda. I get a little nervous when man plays God. Who wouldn't like to manipulate genetic material for a truly good reason? I'm worried about what happens when you get the ones who do it for other purposes.
Lol, I'll try and relax ;-)
If you think the bulk of these single mothers are paying their own way, you're wrong. We take up the slack financially almost across the border, but the bigger cost is the result in the kids. Boys and girls running loose, getting in trouble, having kids, and generally NOT being good citizens.
If she doesn't have a man, she shouldn't be making babies. The arrogance of women today who think they're smarter than nature! YOU'RE NOT A FATHER, LADIES!!
Make ^^^that "almost across the board."
The bulk of women who choose to become single mothers by using a sperm bank are paying their own way- artificial insemination isn't cheap, for one thing. These women tend to be professionals in their 30's or older.
Those make up a small number of the problem, but certainly, that group is better able financially and typically not a drain on the local treasury. But the fact that they can afford an illiterate nanny from Salvador to raise their fatherless child is not a good thing, either.
If you're too busy to find a husband, you're too busy to have a child. Besides, we don't NEED women like that having children. They're failed the life test, so why should we help them perpetuate themselves?
Let me ask you the same question I asked another person; if these women chose to sleep around and get pregnant, would that be a more satisfactory situation?
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