Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
A woman who can not subordinate her own preferences enough to live amicably with a spouse has no business trying to raise a child, no matter how badly she wants one.
Unfortunately, I am as subject to oversight as any man ;o)
Please accept my apologies.
"But to purposely condemn a child to a fatherless existence is pure selfishness."
That is for God to judge the motive as being selfishness not you nor I.
That might be a fact, but among the men that I personally know in that group, it is simply not so.
The narrow minded and bigoted thinking on this forum never ceases to amaze me.
I waited and found my Mr. Right. Of course I found out later his first name is Always.
Well your buddies in my opinion stank more than any one obese woman ever could.
"How would you like to be the man married to a woman who only married you to have a child?"
Men can be really stupid sometimes can't they.
"A woman who can not subordinate her own preferences enough to live amicably with a spouse has no business trying to raise a child, no matter how badly she wants one."
Where on earth did you get that from the article?
This is so sad and so stupid. These women are so self-serving, anyone who chooses to have a child because they hear a fictitious biological clock ticking is already mentally deranged so half the child's DNA is already spoiled. And our society supports this craziness? Sometimes I just don't understand the world I live in.
Apology accepted.
I just get very indignant with the absolutists that tend to post on these type threads who refuse to see that there are no absolutes.
If I knew my friend 8 years ago, I may very well have talked to her about putting the baby up for adoption, but I didn't know her then, I know her now. And what I know is a wonderful mother, with a bright, well adjusted 8 year old that adores her 19month old sister and is the apple of her (step) Daddy's eyes.
Choosing to be a single mother is not an easy thing to do, but it is also not always the wrong thing to do.
I didn't get it from the article...I got it from experience.
I don't see keeping to the Smith Barney approach of having kids is narrow minded or bigoted. It has worked for thousands of years.
"I didn't get it from the article...I got it from experience."
Well you can believe whatever it is you want, but I strongly disagree.
Hasn't this already happened?
Thanks for clarifying that. I assumed when you mentioned "priest," she was Catholic. I apologize. I was pointing out the Church teachings and the failings of said "priest", not my personal judgment.
Are you referring to the women in the article?
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