Apology accepted.
I just get very indignant with the absolutists that tend to post on these type threads who refuse to see that there are no absolutes.
If I knew my friend 8 years ago, I may very well have talked to her about putting the baby up for adoption, but I didn't know her then, I know her now. And what I know is a wonderful mother, with a bright, well adjusted 8 year old that adores her 19month old sister and is the apple of her (step) Daddy's eyes.
Choosing to be a single mother is not an easy thing to do, but it is also not always the wrong thing to do.
I personally don't believe others are being as absolutist as you do, and I'm sure you've been freeping long enough to know your statement regarding absolutists is absolutist in itself ;o)
While I recognize there are exceptions to rules, it is irresponsible to ignore the "rules" wholesale. I would also council a single, pregnant, rape victim to put the child up for adoption apart from extraordinary mitigating circumstances such as engagement, or vast personal resources.
My brother turned out the be an extraordinarily successful, family man, but that is in no small part due to his upbringing by a "greatest generation" family.
In my own life, as a waiting adoptive parent, I have quite a bit of contact with others who have adopted in similar circumstances, and I am continually amazed by the children I see. They are better behaved and outwardly happier and more secure than any other group of children I have ever seen...bar none. I can only attribute such uniformity of outcome to the extremely rigid vetting process done on us before we are permitted to adopt from our children's country of birth.
Trust me on this: once you see the results of children raised in "nuclear families" and you KNOW there are no family skeletons or pathologies, you gain a new appreciation for the traditional model.