I personally don't believe others are being as absolutist as you do, and I'm sure you've been freeping long enough to know your statement regarding absolutists is absolutist in itself ;o)
While I recognize there are exceptions to rules, it is irresponsible to ignore the "rules" wholesale. I would also council a single, pregnant, rape victim to put the child up for adoption apart from extraordinary mitigating circumstances such as engagement, or vast personal resources.
My brother turned out the be an extraordinarily successful, family man, but that is in no small part due to his upbringing by a "greatest generation" family.
In my own life, as a waiting adoptive parent, I have quite a bit of contact with others who have adopted in similar circumstances, and I am continually amazed by the children I see. They are better behaved and outwardly happier and more secure than any other group of children I have ever seen...bar none. I can only attribute such uniformity of outcome to the extremely rigid vetting process done on us before we are permitted to adopt from our children's country of birth.
Trust me on this: once you see the results of children raised in "nuclear families" and you KNOW there are no family skeletons or pathologies, you gain a new appreciation for the traditional model.
EXCUSE ME...............I am a mother, my husband is the father of our child - how much more NUCLEAR FAMILY can you get than that???????
How many more times do I have to see on this thread that no woman should be a single mother unless widowed or abandoned to show me that there are absolutists who refuse to see it any other way.
I wish you luck and Godspeed in your quest to adopt a child and I commend anyone who goes through the rigid vetting process to get that far.
When my family is together with my friends' family I am thankful she chose to be a single mother and I am thankful for the man who loves her enough to consider the child she had as a teenager to be his own enough to have the paperwork going to adopt her as his own.
There are exceptions to every rule which is why I believe there are no absolutes in life; except for the exceptions of death and taxes (and even taxes can be avoided)