Posted on 05/03/2006 5:49:15 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but bring back the ‘‘My grandma went to Florida and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” kidswear. Anything’s better than the latest attempt to fashion victimize children: Pimpfants wear. As in ‘‘pimp” plus ‘‘infant.” Britney wannabes - rev up your credit cards, there’s a double-wide load of styles to choose from. There’s the winsome ‘‘Baby Beater” tank tops, the mini basketball uniform with ‘‘Jr. Pimp Squad” across the jersey or the T-shirts that read ‘‘My Mom Is a MILF.” (I’d explain MILF, but this is a family newspaper.) Speaking of families, parents who dress their kids in Pimpfants might as well start saving for pole-dancing lessons - and therapy sessions - now. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the kids aren’t begging for the stuff. ‘‘But mom, all the other toddlers have ‘Pimpfant’ onesies.” Where does such design genius come from? I had the pleasure of speaking with the brainchild behind Pimpfants Inc. yesterday, as one Jared Parsons explained his eureka moment. A former skateboarder, he was shopping for clothes for his first son, who’s now 5 and quite a fashion plate. ‘‘I wanted him to dress how me and my friends dress,” Parsons said, ‘‘but it’s hard to find baby clothes like that.” Gee, I wonder why. Parsons and his friends use the word ‘‘pimp” to mean ‘‘styling,” he explained, and just as he was wishing he could buy his infant some styling clothes it came to him: Pimpfants. ‘‘Wow,” he said to himself, ‘‘that’s a really good idea.” How good? Well yesterday, after word of Pimpfants wear hit the Drudge Report Web site, the server got more hits than it could handle. Parsons sounded so nice I almost felt bad asking him about, you know, matters of taste. ‘‘We are getting a lot of positive feedback,” he said. And those who are horrified at the thought of a child wearing a shirt that says ‘‘pimp”? It’s simply a matter of understanding the new lingo. ‘‘A lot of people have trouble thinking of the word ‘pimp’ without associating it with someone on the street.” Funny, that. Meanwhile, Parsons said he plans to introduce some new, top-secret designs at a trade show in - where else? - Las Vegas in August. I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping for some chewing tobacco in strained-pea flavor, a baby-bottle cap based on those beer hats that hold two cans and deliver the goods via hose to the wearer’s mouth, and a mullet toupee for the baby without hair. If I had a bit more gumption, I’d put together a Pimpfant-wearing infant rap group. You know, TWA - Toddlers With Attitude.
Even scarier, these parents thinks there is nothing wrong with this crap.....it's innocent "fun"!
T-Shirt Hell has some unbelievably tasteless stuff.
(But I do have to agree. Some of those baby shirts are pretty funny. 'All mommy wanted was a backrub".
("Now that I'm Safe, I'm Pro-Choice" should be given to all Liberals who have newborns. )
YO Yo yo....Sup? You got to be down with the shorties, nome sayin? You know you got to keep yo pimp hand strong and what not.
I recall seeing a very young teenaged girl at an amusement park with shorts that read "Bootylicious" across the back. Ugh!
"Might as well put curb feelers on their strollers."
Not to mention those spinning wheels that keep spinning when you stop.
The "I" in MILF stands for "I'd", which is really f'ed on your own baby's shirt.
I see you caught that too.
OH MY WORD!
I had no idea what MILF meant so I googled it....
RAGE! RED HOT RAGE!
No thanks.
Don't you love it when you see entire families, from infant to adult, wearing their colors?
Hey, Legs, what's up? You're missed by a lot of folks.
"All mommy wanted was a backrub"
ROFL
Don't be too worried. Milf also means mother I love forever.
As a teacher, I made a young lady (11th grade) take off and put on another shirt. Her tee-shirt said "want a lick" across her breasts. I find this so offensive, but the young men loved it.
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