Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Prayers requested for barker. She lost her husband today

Posted on 04/20/2006 6:36:36 PM PDT by trussell


 


 


 

I need prayer very badly

Today my husband died from a self-inflected gunshot wound to the head. He had a lot of medical problems and was suffering from severe depression. We will never know what demons were in his head that drove him to this.

Our two sons and his daughter desperately need prayers to help them through this. I have seen the power of FReeper prayer and it is awesome.

This just happened today and reality hasn't sunk in yet.

Many thanks
barker

 

 

 

 



TOPICS: Announcements; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: barker; prayer; prayerrequest
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 181-200201-220221-240241-259 last
To: All

BTTT prayer request.


241 posted on 04/22/2006 2:54:21 PM PDT by JockoManning (Listen Online http://www.klove.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 239 | View Replies]

To: barker
Sorry to jump in so late but we just got in from vacation. My God grant you and your family comfort and that peace that passes all understanding.
Will add your family to my family's prayer list.

GE
242 posted on 04/22/2006 5:45:41 PM PDT by GrandEagle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: trussell

In my prayers -- so sorry...


243 posted on 04/22/2006 5:54:29 PM PDT by EverOnward (help support our hero soldiers at anysoldier.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EverOnward
Prayers from one who knows what you are going thru.
244 posted on 04/22/2006 5:57:55 PM PDT by BobFromNJ (out dthere)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 243 | View Replies]

To: barker

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.


245 posted on 04/23/2006 2:40:44 AM PDT by The Foolkiller (BSXL* The year the NFL became irrelevant..)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: barker

Blessings and comfort to you and your family.
Just reading through the posts you know you have an extended family with all your fellow FReepers.
We are here for you in your hour of need and most importantly your husband is in the hands of a Living Loving God!
God Bless You barker.


246 posted on 04/23/2006 1:48:29 PM PDT by missnry (The truth will set you free!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 227 | View Replies]

To: barker; FriendDownUnder; andie74
Barker,

Mental disease is the hardest thing to live with and the loss of a loved one to it is both tragic and inexplainable. We find ourselves asking "why?" and "how could this have happened?" and seldom get satisfactory answers.

I lost my wife in Sept of last year. She struggled with severe depression as well as certain religion based delusions for the last two years of her life. God in His mercy took her home via a seizure when she had reached the end of her rope. She was in the hospital after an unsuccessful suicide attempt and under close watch (15 minute check) when she had a seizure and went home. The two years prior to that were a living nightmare for all of us.

How do you reach into someone's private darkness and help them get out? Was there more that we could do? was there something we did that we shouldn't have done? Questions and guilt and regrets try to wash over us like a tidal wave.

Remember that life and death is in God's hands. While I believe that suicide is wrong I have come to understand that sometimes, when the fight has been fought and we reach the end of our strength, God will allow us to succeed in such an attempt. Not because we are healthy enough to know what we are doing, but because we are so far down that we cannot understand what we are doing. We only want the pain to end and we become incapable of seeing any other way out. Your husband died of a disease.

I believe that your husband is home now. He is out of pain, he is happy and he loves you and the kids with a love that will never die. He just ran out of strength.

You are left with the hardest task now. Continuing to live and learning to enjoy life again. Your husband would want you to be happy. (after your grieving time is over of course)

There is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. It was not your fault nor your choice. Life and death are in God's hands and He allowed this. (I can say this as my wife had tried several times to end it and He kept her alive miraculously several times. She couldn't leave this earth until He allowed it. I think that one reason He chose to take her home this way is that I have a 5 year old daughter who wouldn't understand any thing else yet.)

During the next few days you will find times of severe grief and times of even joy and laughter, enjoy the good times when they come. Don't worry about them. When my wife died I found myself feeling pretty good sometimes and I was greatly disturbed by it. A very good friend of mine (the preacher who said the funeral) said it this way. "Grief comes in waves like the tide. If it came all at once it would destroy us, so God gives us times of rest between the tears." I've found this to be true. Use these times and remember all the good times with your husband. You have no reason to feel guilty or ashamed for a moment's respite from grief. God knows what He is doing and He will let you grieve at your own pace. He will not give you more than you can bear.

Gather your family and friends about you. Most people do not know what to say to someone who's lost a spouse. Your friends love you but they feel as helpless as you may. Let them know that you are planning to go on living and that you need their help.

People always say "let me know if there's anything I can do" or something like that. Take them up on it. People are sincere when they say it. They just don't know how else to help. I know it's hard to think of but your friends and family are grieving too. They are looking for some way to help and some way to remember. Let them help you. It is a healing both for you and for them.

I felt like I was taking advantage of them by letting them cook for me or clean the house or whatever. But they needed to help me as much or more than I really needed the help. Find time to be merciful to their grief and let them help you. If things need to be taken care of around the house let them do it for you. You get the jobs done and they get to work through their grief.

It takes a little effort but continue to involve yourself in life. Attend your church. It's OK to cry when doing things the two of you used to do. It's even healthy. I cried the first several times I went to church without my wife.

They used to say that grieving lasts a year. In my case my wife was gone for 5 months and I seemd to be over most of my grief. I was again disturbed by this. I loved her completely (as anyone who knew us could attest) so why wasn't I grieving any more? A very wise woman of God helped me to understand that my wife had been sick for a long time. I had started grieving her loss long before she really left.

You may experience the same. Don't expect to grieve on a schedule. Grief starts when it starts and ends when it ends. No one has any right to demand that you grieve for a certain length of time and you do not have to live up to any one's expectations. If you find yourself one day happy then praise God for the day and enjoy your life. If you find yourself one day grieving than praise God for the time you had together and cry if you need to.

I've found it somewhat therapeutic to talk about what happened. Sometimes people think that they are opening up old wounds but what they think doesn't matter. If it brings you comfort to discuss it, or to not discuss it, then do so.

I will pray for you and your children and all who knew your husband. I hope my words have been helpful somehow.

May God give you strength to get through this time and to live your life to the fullest. May he bless your going outs and your coming ins. May he provide for your every need and place people about you to love you and care for you and lift you up when you are tired. May God bless you and keep you, and make His face to shine upon you. May God turn his face toward you and give you peace.

247 posted on 04/24/2006 12:35:47 PM PDT by John O (God Save America (Please))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 235 | View Replies]

To: barker

I am truly sorry to hear of the horrible shock and loss you have suffered. Please know that you are in my prayers as well as all your family and friends who are trying to deal with this tragedy. My 16 yr. old daughter's boyfriend did the same thing on March 30th. His Dad was stationed in Iraq with the 412 Civil Affairs Battalion and he was their only child.


248 posted on 04/24/2006 5:02:45 PM PDT by Sunshine55 (Dear Congressman: Either illegal immigrants are going home...or you are...pick which one.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 247 | View Replies]

To: trussell

Father Above,
You are our source and our goal. You are our strength and our Redeemer. We praise your name in all the earth, Father God.
Today we lift up to you the mystery of depressive illness, Father God, and we lift up to you "barker" and her children for your tender care and solace.
We pray for the soul of barker's husband, that in his final moment he cried out to you, Lord, in his despair. We know you would leave the ninety and nine docile sheep to retrieve the one that was lost, Father, and so we cry out to you to save him where he is and repatriate him into the true love of your will and your way for his soul.
Comfort the family, we pray, our Lord, in this confounding loss. You are the One in all the world who can turn every event to good in your time. We depend on your grace and mercy, Father, in this time of need for barker and her family.
In Jesus' holy name,
Amen!


249 posted on 04/25/2006 12:31:10 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (Got freedom? Thank a veteran.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: trussell

May our Lord come alongside you now, and comfort your heart. See Him? He is right there next to you. In times like these, words pale as we try to make sense out of tragedy. But know one thing for sure . . . He'll never leave, and will always be your strength.


250 posted on 04/27/2006 2:27:01 AM PDT by rjamesca
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: barker

Prayers to you and your family.


251 posted on 04/27/2006 12:20:21 PM PDT by Woodstock
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: barker

barker,
I just found this thread. I'm late in posting, but definitely still want you to know that you and your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that you are finding the strength you need in this situation.

I've sent you an email also.


252 posted on 05/04/2006 9:44:57 AM PDT by kcpopps
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 227 | View Replies]

To: trussell

May G-d fill the void that is left in your and your family's life completely with his Ruach! May the Comforter come for you all and put His arms around you. May He give you answers to the questions that you will have and show you the truth through his mercy. May He take this tradgedy and make a positive of it through all of your lives.


253 posted on 05/05/2006 11:09:46 AM PDT by richardtavor (Pray for the peace of Jerusalem in the name of the G-d of Jacob)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: barker

May God comfort you and your family, you poor dear. What a loss. You're in my prayers.


254 posted on 05/10/2006 5:28:10 PM PDT by To Hell With Poverty ("This is our Common and we're going to stay here until we leave!" - Random Boston Commie)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: trussell; barker

barker, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.


255 posted on 05/10/2006 5:29:40 PM PDT by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: To Hell With Poverty; tet68; kcpopps

Would like, once again, to thank everyone who responded to this thread. You will never know how much your kind words, your thoughts and most of all your prayers have helped us through this difficult time.

Popps, I did receive your email and will soon respond. You are so kind and generous. Thank you.


256 posted on 05/10/2006 7:05:14 PM PDT by barker (Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 254 | View Replies]

To: barker
Condolences and prayers
257 posted on 05/16/2006 5:51:22 PM PDT by newfarm4000n (God Bless America and God Bless Freedom)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: trussell

Prayed.


258 posted on 05/16/2006 5:54:11 PM PDT by 185JHP ( "The thing thou purposest shall come to pass: And over all thy ways the light shall shine.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: barker

Hello dear barker.. came across this link as I had linked it at my Finest “Fairy Tales” thread...

read all comments once again.

3 years... How are you doing FRiend?


259 posted on 05/27/2009 4:37:35 PM PDT by DollyCali (Don't tell GOD how big your storm is -- Tell the storm how B-I-G your God is!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 256 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 181-200201-220221-240241-259 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson