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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: TXBSAFH

Dick Hand
Dick Trickle

I knew the first guy. Big big corporate type.

I worked with a paralegal named Honey. It got so uncomfortable working with her with client I avoided that as much as possible.

I could never get used to saying "Honey can you bring me that file?".


921 posted on 03/30/2006 7:23:11 PM PST by freedomlover (This tagline has been pulled - - - - OK?)
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To: FreedomCalls
We used to have a mayor in Pittsburgh named Joe Barr. He named his daughter Candy.

And, I actually had a girl friend back in the 60's named Tini Dickey....... really.

;-)

922 posted on 03/30/2006 7:23:30 PM PST by beyond the sea (Claire De Lune - ........ 1862)
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To: colorcountry
Personally, I HATE"THE GREAT GATSBY", but you might like it...many people do. Perhaps you should try seeing the movie first and if you like it, read the book.

Jordan and variations of that name, began life as a last name. And yes, the last name was taken from the Bible. It is a common French, Dutch, and Afrikaner last name.

923 posted on 03/30/2006 7:23:48 PM PST by nopardons
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To: TXBubba
"caucasion friends who give their kids seemingly "normal" names. Then you find out they are spelling it some really strange way"

I've noticed that spelling things, it affects me like fingernails on a blackboard, or plastic squeaking if that is more expressive to the younger generation. I do not understand why this is happening unless it's an example of personal expression or personal stupidity. Regardless, they will come to regret it, their children will someday tell them how embarrassing and illiterate their names look when written.
924 posted on 03/30/2006 7:24:02 PM PST by pepperdog
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To: stands2reason

I was right!


;-)


925 posted on 03/30/2006 7:24:12 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (A shotgun is no substitute for a brass pole? --- LL)
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To: twippo; weegee
You named the baby 'Poison'?!


926 posted on 03/30/2006 7:25:03 PM PST by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything.")
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To: twippo

I once dated a girl named Letha Latham. Not Lisa, Letha. White chick too.


927 posted on 03/30/2006 7:25:28 PM PST by freedomlover (This tagline has been pulled - - - - OK?)
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To: stands2reason

"Reading something true 17 times is annoying. Reading urban legends passed off as true 17 times in a row is slightly more so."

So you are calling me a liar? I saw this child with my own eyes. I am so offended!

FOAD


928 posted on 03/30/2006 7:26:09 PM PST by lawdude (2006 Republican bumper sticker : Vote Republican: We are NOT democrats!)
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To: cyborg; Petronski

Giovanna is a beautiful name : )

My neighborhoods in adulthood have always been populated by Hispanic names. They're beautiful names like Socorro or Esperanza, but they just don't go with our last name, lol!

I'm sure your father resented others trying to hide, instead of having some kind of ethnic pride. My maiden name is Irish, and Dad related how when he was a boy, there were signs in Fall River, MA stating "no dogs or Irish allowed". Didn't change his name, though.

No, Laquita, LaToya...those aren't the names coming up. Some of these names are bizarre, make no sense, and injure the child. Some of the yuppies trying to be original are just as idiotic. It is rare that teachers will recognize a Biblical name, and the parent should take care.

I think the first rule of thumb for parents is that you shalt not subject your child to ridicule. Now if Giovanna doesn't exactly fit with her last name, why not Joanna? How about a middle name choice? Compromise is one of the glues that keeps a relationship together : )


929 posted on 03/30/2006 7:27:00 PM PST by TheSpottedOwl ("Life is a box of chocolates. Eat them before they eat you ".---me.)
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To: wyattearp
Psalms . . . oh my!

That reminds me of the old comedy routine (I think it may have been a Jerry Reed bit) about the country preacher who preached a whole sermon about the "Peasle Tree" (i.e. the Psaltery in Psalm 150). I remember it had two mules and a Studebaker wagon in it . . . and the people filled their pockets with the leaves of the Peasle Tree.

930 posted on 03/30/2006 7:27:43 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment))
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To: stands2reason
I suppose you would not like to hear about all the girls in Louisiana who are named Love or Lovely would you? :)
931 posted on 03/30/2006 7:27:45 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Romantics and pessimists are two sides of the same coin. Both will happily lead you over the cliff)
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To: nopardons

Leslie Howard also died for his country in WWII.

And played Ashley Wilkes better than anyone could ever have imagined. I mourn his loss to this day. And I get REALLY MAD at Rush Limbaugh when he calls that nut Wesley Clark, Ashley Wilkes Clark. Or whatever he does, it really steams me.

Sorry, I know it's off topic. But Ashley/Leslie, whatever, when we are talking Mr. Howard, we are talking REAL MAN.


932 posted on 03/30/2006 7:28:09 PM PST by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: lawdude

I didn't mean to call you a liar. Sorry I grouped all the mentions of Placenta together with the apocryphal jello twins.

The Placenta mentions just got tiresome after awhile.


933 posted on 03/30/2006 7:29:42 PM PST by stands2reason
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To: Churchjack

I KNOW that's right.
Merdedes
Alexis
Madison

Merdedes?


934 posted on 03/30/2006 7:29:49 PM PST by Fred Hayek (Liberalism is a mental disorder)
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To: dogbyte12

"Why are girls named Brandi generally hussies? Usually Cherrie too."

It's a well established fact that all girls named Susan/Suzette/Suzanne/Susie, etc. are HOT. And I'm a girl. And Susan/Suzanne is a good Bible name. But it's still true.


935 posted on 03/30/2006 7:30:04 PM PST by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: SittinYonder

Personally I think family names are the best, it gives the children a feeling of continuity and identity.


936 posted on 03/30/2006 7:32:38 PM PST by pepperdog
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To: jocon307
The original Cassius Marcellus Clay was quite a man in his own right.

When he was a young man and U.S. Ambassador to Russia.

The Old Lion. He was a fearless abolitionist in the middle of the South. Held off a mob all by himself with an old field piece stuffed with nails and a shotgun.

937 posted on 03/30/2006 7:35:17 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment))
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To: twippo
There is an Atlanta retal surgeon named Dr. Grablowsky
938 posted on 03/30/2006 7:37:02 PM PST by freedomlover (This tagline has been pulled - - - - OK?)
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To: cyborg; Petronski

"I want to name one of my girls Giovanna but Petronski disagrees."

How about Allegra? I love that name. And it is in the great (well, not great, but old fave) Longfellow (I think) poem, "The Children's Hour". Giovanna is nice too, I love Italian names.


939 posted on 03/30/2006 7:37:42 PM PST by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: jocon307

If you know Daniel Ch. 13, you know that Susannah was an extremely beautiful and virtuous woman, who was saved from an unjust accusation of adultery by Daniel (who apparently was the first to employ the art of separate cross-examination of witnesses.)


940 posted on 03/30/2006 7:38:37 PM PST by AnAmericanMother (Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment))
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