Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???

Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

[Reagan Disciple]

Maygan, Mayghen, Megyn, Meghyn, Maegan, Maygin.

Caitlyn, Kaitlynn, Kate-Lyn, Katlynn, Khatlin, Kaitlinn, Kaytlyn, Catelyn, Katelyn.

Michayla, Mikalya, Mikahyla, Michkayla, Mikeyla.

[EveningStar]

You have a magazine? :)

[AmishDude]

Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’.

While I think the article is generally true, this paragraph struck me as BS. In the corporate world, a "Laquisha" indicates you can check off at least two affirmative action boxes.

[utahagen]

Based on this list, the Asians are (as usual) the smart ones.

[TNCMAXQ]

Look at the names some of these nutty celebrities give their kids. Even the "conservative" Bruce Willis has 3 kids with Demi Moore with very odd names. Isn't one of them a girl named Scout??

Then there are names like Apple, and Pilot Inspektor. I think the latter one is the son of that "My name is Earl" guy. Are these people just idiots or what?

[linda_22003]

I'm sure it was a family name, like his mother's maiden name, but it still needed more consideration.

The City Administrator in Washington, DC is named Robert Bobb. Now, his parents knew what his last name would be when they named him. It's not like a woman's name that might change with marriage. What were they thinking? Bob Bobb.

[Alberta's Child]

"I'm laughing, but this is serious" ping.

[TXBSAFH]

I once worked at a place that had two shall we say full figured women named Mercedes and Lexus. Their nick names were Kenworth and Peterbuilt.

[SittinYonder]

My three children all have family names for both first and middle names. They are named for a famous 9th great-grandfather and his son, named for a great-grandfather who fought in the Civil War, named for me, my brother and their grandfathers and one of my grandfathers.

[LS]

It can go the other way, though, too: about 10 years ago--I clipped this out of the paper and read it to my students---a woman was actually charged in Denmark with naming her kids a name that was not on the officially approved state list of names. She named her son "Christopher," but spelled it "Christophpher." Like she had a lisp or something.

[Atlas Sneezed]

With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

---

It may not be causation. It may be that the parents who have poor capabilities tend to raise loser/criminals, and they also tend to give their kids stupid slave names. it could be a correlation.

There is a great chapter in the book Freakonomics about this, and it seems that this is more about what the parents want for their children. (e.g. middle class whites will tend to name their kids what upper class whites did several years ago, while the upper class moves on to other names that set future trends.)

[armymarinemom]

Hey it isn't just limited to "African"-Americans. I have plenty of caucasion friends who give their kids seemingly "normal" names. Then you find out they are spelling it some really strange way. Poor kid is going to be correctly people their whole life. Idiot parents.

Amen. My son took a world of grief from some of his female classmates a few years ago when he made a comment(What do they hate the kid?) when he heard the name Maximus was given to a little one born to a couple that had graduated the previous year. I have to agree with him. The kids name sounds like a condom.

[SouthernFreebird]

See that's why we stick with Bubba....easy to spell and pronounce.

[LS]

Guess it could be worse. A guy's last name could be Less and his first name Richard.

[old_sage_says]

Speaking of female names. I once knew a woman whose first name is Fonda and her last name is Peters. Figure it out.

BTW,she hated her name.

[RebelBanker]

Darn you to Heck! I had to look at the properties of that chart to find out it is from "The Onion."

[onyx]

BLUSHING!

Well, now I am outed! LOL.

[daku]

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

when I hear such names, my distain is purely for the parent(s) who made it up

the person with the name is saddled with the reality that they will be expected to be a caucasiaphobe till proven otherwise

[TXBubba]

Shirley was considered a man's name until that little curly-haired girl came along.

And Ashley was a man's name at one time also. I always liked it for a man. But couldn't use it for my son because it has been co-opted to a girl's only name now.

[Gefreiter]

Life ain't easy for a boy named Feces...