Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Don't forget Brigham!
I like the name Mungo.
Can't get any more Scottish than that...except maybe Hamish...
OMG, I have an Uncle Parley and and Uncle Pratt...Those names seemed so normal to me I forgot.
Altamira replied: Oh, right...it's all about YOU and it's all bad.
Why so touchy?
Several posters on this thread have said that it is a musical term meaning 'with sweetness' but her mother changed it a bit.
I thought "Balqis" was the traditional name for the Queen of Sheba.
Yep. Finally went through the entire thread. Somebody needed an Italian spelling lesson.
Gov Jim Hogg back from when in Texas named his daughter Ima.
Actually Catherine Bronte was responsible for the switch when she gave the name to one of her female characters.
Shirley was originally one of those surnmme given to the first-born son as a first name when a heiress married. (eg in Pride and Prejudice Fitzwiiliam Darcy's mother's maiden name was orginally Fitzwilliam)
So when Miss Jane Shirley married Mr John Sirius, their fisrt borm son might end up being named Shirley Sirius.
I was making a point that I've observed about threads that are negative about black people and threads that are positive. The negative threads always get more attention. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just occasionally annoying. I take the blame for not explaining myself more thoroughly as I did in a later post. I did mean my have a good weekend very seriously because I hate ending a day with negative feeling.
Brigham or Bring'em Young, Ha!
(Now I'll be in trouble)
Condoleeza is Italian.
The name "Condoleezza" is derived from the Italian music-related expression, "Con dolcezza", meaning "with sweetness".
My college roommate was a black woman, a top student in chemistry, with a perfectly normal name (Joy Carole), but when she applied to Harvard, they treated her like she came from Zimbabwe. "Dear Third World Student, To help you determine whether the Harvard environment is consistent with your native culture, we are inviting you to a special Third World Weekend."
She was PISSED! My response was, "Look, Joy, they noticed you're from Houston!" (private joke ...) She went to UC-San Francisco, full scholarship, only out of state medical student they accepted that year.
Even better is the hyphenated name. Like right now you have Johnnie Robert Jones-Smith. So Johnnie marries Mary Johnson-Jones. Their child will be - what? - Susie Jones-Smith-Johnson-Jones?
Just can't wait! :)
I understood your point and I think it's a valid one. I don't understand the abrupt and overly-sensitive reply you received.
What's wrong with the last one? It's just a feminine version of Michael.
Alisyn Camerota
I've never heard that one. Balqis? We had threeboys and one 11 year old girl, so when we gave birth to our fifth child (a girl) her daddy said, "We'll treat her just like the queen of Sheba!"
We looked up whatever information we could find and came up with Makeda or Maqueda.
http://www.homestead.com/wysinger/sheba.html
I began noticing at least 30 years ago that lots of performers esp. from the NYC area, in touring shows playing other parts of the country, would list their names in the show's program as obviously made-up things like "Ms. Heaven" or other more normal names but featuring "distinctive" spellings like "Constanz","Bettye", or "Trudee". There were so many of them, and they were so various, I knew it was a trend.
But this was before all the "-eishas" and "-niqua"s". Looking at some of the names cited in this article you just KNOW these are not African names===they have about as much to do with African culture as Kwanzaa does with American Black culture. But look all the apostrophes and
"q"s that appear in the names and they can't help but remind you of the names we've been deluged with for the last 5 years----ARAB names, MUSLIM names. But not quite all the way there, more like halfway there. I'[m not suggesting they are Muslim, or are sympathetic, just that some partly subconscious process may be going on in the selection of these names. There are enough American blacks who have already taken on real Islamic names---blacks have been casting about for a non-American, non-assimilable identity for decades, and the reasons are not hard to see.
But gone are the days , just to complete the circle, of a mother naming a boy Cassius Marcellusv , and NOT having him change it 20 some years later to Muhammad Ali.
I proudly named my firstborn -- JOE.
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