Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Yes; that was corrected some time ago. In between, about 30 other people made the same mistake. :)
Yes; that was corrected some time ago. In between, about 30 other people made the same mistake. :)
The headdress is actually historically inaccurate - women who wore feathers wore them pointing down. But they're a great prop, and a very easy way to spot me in a crowd!
Salty says to tell Elmo hi!
My sister's friend lived in a building with a young woman named Toshiba.
My brother had a coworker who named his child Debrisha (deh-bree-sha) without knowing it sounded like "debris."
In my very first adoption, they named the kid 'Linzee' because she was 4 and could already write it that way. I begged them to spell it right. That poor child is now in her twenties living with that.
"The poor mother had no idea what it meant--just saw it on a hospital chart, and thought it sounded pretty."
I have to sympathize with that. Once, when I was a little kid, I was trying to figure out what the best name in the world was (girls do stuff like this), one that had all the good elements of names in general, would go well with many last names, etc. After much pondering, and to my chagrin, the name my brain arrived at as "the very best" was Lucifer!
That was the end of that thought experiment. But I bet if he hadn't turned to evil it would be a very popular name.
I don't know about any "fancy belt" but if you do any genealogical research you come to the same conclusion.
Names went really wild after the Civil War. I can only imagine some conversations between mother and pregnant daughter went similar to this:
"What kind of name is "Effie?" That's fine for a little girl, but can you imagine a grown woman being called "Effie?" What's wrong with names like Susannah and Mary, Catherine and Anne? You can call her "Effie" if you want, but at least give her a real name!"
and
"Gladys? That's a GIRL'S name? You must be joking!"
"Dacron? Brothers Rayon and Nylon?....."
Gabar'Dean.
If you live vicariouly through your children, then my daughter is making me a very successful person. In fact all five of my kids are living the lives I always wanted. It's great.
Gayle? My husband's name is Terry. When I go to the bank to make a deposit they always say "Thanks, Terry." I have a very feminine name, so I wonder if the think I'm in one of those non-traditional marriages.
If you live vicariouly through your children, then my daughter is making me a very successful person. In fact all five of my kids are living the lives I always wanted. It's great.
There is nothing new under the sun.
I've seen the name used in the 19th century.
Larry the Cable Guy?
The "i" names we "white folk" give kids make me nuts -- Kelli, Jodi, Tammi. (I'm sure I've offended someone; sorry.)
Here are some that I've come across lately (in the education field):
Kentavius
Quandarrius
Terriendrick
Totcunna
Lousha
and my favorite:
Queen D
I'm "seriace"
Now if only the clergy could chime in...there's no shame in picking a good Biblical name, you know...
I have a friend who's kids are named Matthew and Mark. I'm sure you can guess how often he gets asked when Luke and John will be born :^Þ
Shi thead ping
ROTFL!
Hmmm .... I am Sven of Borg, you will be assimilated, ya?
I won't ask!
I believe Asa is biblical. The Adjutant General of our state 30 years ago was LaVern Weber. The lack of a second `e' in LaVern made it masculine. Wait a second - South Carolina's most famous stunt pilot was Bevo (Beverly) Howard.
But all the Courtneys I have known are women.
"I turned down a doctoral fellowship at a school that wanted me to attend a summer program for new minority grad students."
You are such a credit to your race! (That's sarcasm!)
Really, how insulting of a university to single you out because of your heritage. I've always said that Affirmative Action demeans and belittles the very people it purports to help. Good for you for rejecting their patronizing attitude and for telling them WHY!
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