Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Your screen name reminded me of a woman in my neighborhood named Czarina. She is Phillipina and pronounces is "Sharina".
Is it pronounced Ta Kwilla?
susie
Interesting! he was a good kid, and back then (1950s) nobody gave him any grief.
I don't remember at all....
s
What's WASPs? BTW- I wouldn't mind TOO much. I'd be Smith.
I was just teasing you, I never heard of either of them. ;9)
My parents have a friend named "Ace," his real name, white guy from Georgia. He retired from the Navy as a Rear Admiral. His grandson, "Little Ace," is about 3 now.
I think it's a silly name, too :-).
At least my parents didn't give me a strange name!
Ah, well, then, I guess it fits! :)
susie
I wanted to name our not-yet-born (now 5 days overdue) son Jackson, but hubby said no way. Maybe because I named our dog Jack, and he didn't want people thinking we named the kid after the dog. I just happen to think Jackson/Jack is a strong, masculine, untrendy name...that just happens to work for animals AND people. LOL.
We settled on Alexander Grant (Alex for short) for 1st and middle name. I still like Jackson, though.
Ace is just wrong. As is Grey, which is what my friend and her husband happily named their son. Another couple we know named their son Jett. JETT? What do you say to people like that? Ohhhhhhhhh, Jett. That's an...uhhh, ummmm...clever name... /s
Do you mean the names are mainstream or that the Osmonds are mainstream?
"Condoleeza" is a term used in music, like "a capela" or "staccato."
OLD LISTER: I know you're there, because when I was your age, I saw me at my age ... telling you ... what I'm about to tell you. You've got to tell you ... when you get to be me.
RIMMER: Thank heavens you've still got all your marbles, Lister.
LISTER: Shhh!
OLD LISTER: I've got to tell you about Bexley.
RIMMER: Who's Bexley?
LISTER: I was always going to call my second son Bexley, after Jim Bexley Speed.
RIMMER: Your second son? What were you going to call your first son?
LISTER: Jim. After Jim Bexley Speed.
I saw a white kid whose name was Cove. Stupid uppity parents.
I'm waiting for the un-PC nicknames for sports teams in the future. Imagine - The Boston Flaming Liberals vs. the Seattle Suicidal Junkies. The Compton Gangbangers vs. the San Francisco Dykes, etc... I'd say around the year 2010
I've always had a mental picture of Bruce as the San Quentin lifer who rapes his cellmate. With apologies to all Bruce's on this board.
Wow 600 posts in one day? FReepers love to talk about black folks, esp. when it's all bad.
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