Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???

Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

[AnnGora]

A basketball player on the local college team had the unfortunate moniker of Reprobatus foisted on him by a moronic mother. He recently lived up to his name by being arrested for armed robbery.

[Cheesel]

Once on a TV talk show I saw this poor woman whose first name was Aquanet. I wondered if she had a sister named VO5 or Adorn. I was also thinking, instead of Aquanet, how about...Annette?? You know, something nice and normal, something that won't make people laugh???

[elc]

When I worked for DCFS in Florida, I had a young mother come in and re-apply for her welfare after being cut off for some reason or another.
Her name was pronounced Va-geena. I'll give you once guess how it was spelled.

[theDentist]

I know a woman in the office named Latrina. And she warned me NOT to use the nickname "La."

[I'm ALL Right!]

Didn't Gwenyth Paltrow name her daughter "Apple"? Is she going to name her next child "Kiwi" or "Grape"? How about "Starfruit". Seriously ridiculous.

[orionblamblam]

Was wondering if there was anyone else around here geek enough to catch that...

:P

[Cheesel]

Meet my daughters Propecia and Alopecia.

[I'm ALL Right!]

My son has a friend named Sue. Great kid.

[miss marmelstein]

"I like "Scout" also. It's sweet."

It's only sweet because you associate it with a famous character in film and literature. Scout's real name is Jean Louise (as in: "Stand up, Miss Jean Louise - your father's passing").

[VastRWCon]

bong for later

[Calpernia]

I like my Captain Underpants name generator better.

My new name is:

Boobie Gizzardtush

http://www.ultsoftware.com/NameGen.html

:)

[ssaftler]

We had a family in our temple named "Gentile". For a time, I think he was the President of the Temple Board!

[Lurking Libertarian]

Seamus Garcia and Juan O'Riley don't just roll off the tongue.

What about Bernardo O'Higgins?

[Xenalyte]

My maternal grandmother was Elfa Agnes.

My paternal grandparents were Faye Belle and Ernest Buford.

I swear, I'm not making this up either.

[nopardons]

Many traditional MALE names, have, through the years, been co-opted for female names. Marion and Frances/Francis and Brook/e, for example. And then, there are the female Michaels, which REALLY is peculiar; IMO.

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

would like to add that this rule should go for us white parents who think we must give our children "special" one off spellings for regular names

I concur.
Ami

[nina0113]

In the same vein, if you know you can't speak correctly, have somebody else pronounce the baby's name correctly to the nurse, or learn to write and spell correctly, or both. Otherwise he has to explain "Anfernee" or "Andrue" or "Antawn" or "Stephon" for the rest of his life as well.

Years ago, an acquaintance of mine used to get utterly irate (and is probably still doing so) when people pronounced her son's name as "DAY-men." She insisted that the correct pronunciation was "DAY-mee-en". After all, she'd spelled it that way - Dee Ay Em Ee En.

[ASH71]

Often they simply invent new names. For instance, the US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice derives her first name from the musical term 'con dolcezza' which mean 'to play with sweetness'.

http://www.rogerdarlington.co.uk/useofnames.html

[rit]

Wonder if it includes the missing Ura Hogg

Only half true! There was no Ura Hogg, though Ima Hogg really was the name of his daughter. James Stephen Hogg (1851-1906; Governor of Texas 1891-1895) had four children: William Clifford Hogg (1875-1930), Ima Hogg (1882-1975), Michael Hogg (1885-1941), and Thomas Elisha Hogg (1887-1949).
http://www.ci.austin.tx.us/library/ff_texa10.htm

[BJClinton]

I was working on an HR database for a big call center years ago and came across the name "LaQuiefa". Seriously.