Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???

Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

[ssaftler]

Wasn't that Tracey Ullman's name in Mel Brooks' "Robin Hood: Men in Tights"???

[World'sGoneInsane]

Shirley was considered a man's name until that little curly-haired girl came along.

Shirely, you jest that it was previously a man's name.

P.S. D.P. stands for displaced person. Where I come from, if you called someone a D.P. it was a slur. (Names, initials, etc., can be a tricky thing :)

[BenLurkin]

I knew that.

[Skooz]

See post 183.

[TXBubba]

My little brother's first girlfriend was named Candy Bush.

Yours is better but I did know a Candy Fudge when I was a kid. Can't say I've heard that last name again either.

[tx_eggman]

I can't believe there have been nearly 300 replies and no one has mentioned that great name from Seinfeld ...

Mulva

[Revolting cat!]

Engelbert und Elvis

[CobraJet]

Funny, my grandfather was named Vivian also.

[rattrap]

Freakin' Sweet!

From now on you can all refer to me as "Shaft"

[Betty Jane]

Here's a sad little story. One of the kids I know has a speech problem. Great kid except for that. He had a little brother in October. The new kid's name is Asher. Bad name, but not the problem. When big bro says the name it comes out as Ashhole. He doesn't say his brother's name anymore.

[Junior]

Mea culpa.

Hey, that would make a great baby name!

[Chickensoup]

"That's gotta be one of the more stupid names I've ever heard. That kid is gonna get called names like Greenie when he gets older


Noooooooooooo. Woodie. Bank on it.

[colorcountry]

Shaft! Now that's a manly name right there. LOL

[No Truce With Kings]

"And there was no "eura"."

You just think that. Ura was very, very shy and kept her name out of print. That's what her half of the Hogg fortune went to. And she did a good job of it, didn't she.

[hispanarepublicana]

I'll echo everything in the editorial and add this:
-don't misspell ANY name; some day Brytnee and Kodee will be grownups, and it just won't look dignified
-don't give children nicknames as names; if you want to call a girl Betty, name her Elizabeth; if you want to call a boy Bobby, name him Robert
-"cutesie" names on little boys and little girls won't look so "cutesie" with "Governor" or "Senator" in front of those "cutesie" names as will strong names like Victoria and James
-you wouldn't put a lava lamp in a formal Victorian dining room, so try to keep the "flavor" of a child's name consistent, just for style and good taste; Seamus Garcia and Juan O'Riley don't just roll off the tongue.

[eyespysomething]

Chequonda
Chrishanna
Cherrica
Daqurirs
Frantashia
Italine
Kimaka
Laquette
Linnequa
Latorial
Amittie
Starteria
Shordae
Sharika
Trequila
Tyroid
Tasundra
Toccara
Tynettia

[MeanWestTexan]

Oh, that's not even fair. How many extra pushups was that name worth?

[nightdriver]

Names have meaning.

Give your kid a made-up conglomerate that is not a word in any earthly language and you have just relegated him/her to irrelevance.

[redhead]

"I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. How about "A boy named Sue"?"

When I lived in Juneau in the Sixties, one of the bartenders in my favorite hangout was named Bobbie Jean Marshall. And she was a boy. A U.S. Marshal. So help me. He was a family friend for several years, frequently called by the FBI for assistance. I'll bet he put up with a LOT of ribbing. His mother named him. I wonder what she had against boys. He was cool. He even taught me how to smoke a cigar.

[nopardons]

That it is.