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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: redhead

It's the Mormons....always wondered where they came up with such funny names! (BofM??)


201 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:11 PM PST by bonfire
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To: blaquebyrd

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/babynaming/1459673.html#0


202 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:16 PM PST by satchmodog9 (Most people stand on the tracks and never even hear the train coming)
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To: petercooper
Propecia...Sinutab..!!!

Yeah, right!!

LOL!!

203 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:30 PM PST by Osage Orange (Molon Labe)
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To: twippo

I suppose intermingling the makes and/or model names of automobiles is probably out of bounds also? :-)


204 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:33 PM PST by Hegemony Cricket (Rage is the fuel that powers the islamic machine)
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To: TXBubba

Too bad. If ever a girl needed to marry into a new name, that one did.


205 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:35 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: MineralMan

"How about Madycin? It's pronounced "Madison," but for the love of God, why spell it like that?"


I'm guessing the mom who didn't really know how to spell all that well had to spell the name phonetically.

My guess is that's happening a lot now.


206 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:38 PM PST by Dazedcat
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To: D.P.Roberts

Surely . . . you jest!


207 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:40 PM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: BenLurkin

See post 88


208 posted on 03/30/2006 1:12:49 PM PST by TXBSAFH (Proud Dad of Twins, What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger!!!!!!)
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To: Red Badger

I had an uncle named Vivian. RIP, Uncle Vee.


209 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:04 PM PST by Don Carlos ("Beer is proof God loves us". B. Franklin)
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To: BenLurkin

Really?

I was leaning more towards shoe a quay, but you could be right.


210 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:12 PM PST by Skooz (Chastity prays for me, piety sings............Modesty hides my thighs in her wings......)
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To: chemicalman
Those are better then the ones mentioned, are they not greek gods or something???? :)
211 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:12 PM PST by Roverman2K
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To: coloradan

Poetess...

Maya Anne Jello?


212 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:16 PM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Making illegal activities illegal since...since...since...)
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To: TXBubba

'I have plenty of caucasion friends who give their kids seemingly "normal" names."

And let's not forget names that are spelled "normally" but are really, really strange -- Moon Unit Zappa comes to mind.


213 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:50 PM PST by No Truce With Kings (The opinions expressed are mine! Mine! MINE! All Mine!)
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To: astounded

I swam with a girl who was named Sandra Claus, and another girl named Candace (Candy) Epple. It's amazing what the hippies would do to their children.


214 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:55 PM PST by sharkhawk (Bear Down Chicago Bears)
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To: Snickersnee

I always liked that tradition. But, like you said, only with WASP names.

(We've done it in our family)


215 posted on 03/30/2006 1:13:57 PM PST by bonfire
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To: twippo
Another trend is to name girls with customarily male names supposedly to break down barriers? Noticed this trend occurring in more and more mainstream women's fiction.
216 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:08 PM PST by BlessedByLiberty (Respectfully submitted,)
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To: Xenalyte

Bill, Tom, Pat, Jim, and Dan ... future CEO's!


217 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:19 PM PST by Tax-chick (Baby milk factory and all-night laundry -- please tip your server!)
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To: linda_22003; TXBubba

I once belonged to this church that had a family with a french name. The problem was teh english pronounciation. It was spelled Bigot. The Bigot family.


218 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:23 PM PST by TXBSAFH (Proud Dad of Twins, What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger!!!!!!)
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To: CaliGirlGodHelpMe
"Condoleeza just sounds Southern."

I thought it was Italian.

If not for our Secretary of State, we'd probably be poking fun at that name too.

219 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:24 PM PST by Denver Ditdat (Melting solder since 1975)
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To: Laura Earl
On the flip side, when I hear the name "Cody" I picture some mullet-wearing redneck driving a dirty pick-up truck covered in #3 stickers.

Interesting because "Cody" always makes me think of little boys. I mean, I never picture a grown man when I think of that name. I don't know why as I guess they do grown up to be men.

220 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:25 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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