Posted on 03/20/2006 7:36:01 PM PST by SuzyQue
While amicable divorces are certainly better than the alternative, particularly when children are involved, a new national study shows they still take a toll on children’s overall wellbeing, as well as their own future marital success.
Surprisingly, persons whose parents had a good divorce had, on average, the least successful marriages of any of the categories of persons compared. Their results differed significantly from persons whose parents had bad divorces involving destructive behaviors or low-conflict but not happy marriages. Results for that group were considerably poorer than those whose parents had a happy marriage.
(Excerpt) Read more at utexas.edu ...
Marriages are for the protection of children. Remove the marriage, children suffer. It doesn't require a research grant to figure that out!
Like anyone younger than 55 cares about KIDS!
I mean, it is all about the happiness of the adults. Divorce, remarry, have b/f, g/f, live-ins, etc.
If the kid suffers, oh well.
Hey! I'm under 55!
But, I know what you mean.
Bump for consideration.
While amicable divorces are certainly better than the alternative, particularly when children are involved, a new national study shows they still take a toll on children’s overall wellbeing, as well as their own future marital success.
But not surprising, children who see the "good" divorce don't see the threat. Life still stays sort of normal for them.
I mean, it is all about the happiness of the adults. Divorce, remarry, have b/f, g/f, live-ins, etc.
When I was young, 18 years was a long time. It's really not though. Unless it's an abusive relationship, why not just put "your" needs on hold for the "kids" needs.
Yeah, I thought hard about posting this. Sometimes divorce is the best thing to do in a bad situation.
I'll go with Dr. Laura on this one: Abuse, Addiction or Adultary are the primary valid reasons for Divorce.
But "I'm not happy" or "I've fallen out of love" are just crap.
Yes, if "needs" and "desires", and the "follow-my-dreams" crap is all we're talking about.
There is always the exception to the rule. In my relationship she cheated for pretty much the entire 17 years I was married to her. I had to get DNA tests done to ensure that my kids were actually mine. I let it slide "for the kids" until eventually I could feel the rage building. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave or I was going to wind up making the situation worse.
I guess I am somewhat of an anachronism for my generation. My wife and I are 48 and we've been married for almost 25 years. I have several friends that are on their second, third (or even more) marriages. And I have yet to see kids of divorce that are not affected to varying degrees, some of them profoundly. I do find it interesting though that children of "amicable" divorces are more prone to divorce than those of an ugly breakup.
But "I'm not happy" or "I've fallen out of love" are just crap.
As divorce becomes easier and more socially acceptable, the value of the family as the primary support for children diminishes. I think that liberal social engineers have no problem with letting that happen. Feminists, also, have pushed for the devaluation of family because they consider it a relic of the patriarchy.
As a result, studies that point out the obvious - that divorce is bad for children - tend to earn the label "controversial" from the liberal MSM.
Your kids are half you. I have never understood how people can "love" their kids but hate their mother or father. I figure if that's the case you can really only half love your child.
It does when you're conducting research that wastes tax dollars. I bet I could swing a tax cutting axe in such a way that would make politians and so-called researchers cry. Sadly the government spends money like a drunken sailor and this so-called "research" the article is about clearly illustrates that.
It takes two. I didn't mean one should make the best of it but that both should work together if nothing more, as friends and finish the job.
Some of the comments here just seem to be born out of ignorance. The solution is to marry the right person in the first place.
I don't disagree that staying together is the most desireable outcome but sometimes, that's just not possiable.
My ex-wife turned controlling after my daughter was born and created conflict at every turn. My daughter showed me affection, only when my ex-wife wasn't around. Now that I'm able to spend time with my daughter on my own outside my ex-wife's influence, my daughter shows me much more affection and is a lot more loving towards me. I know that there are some situations where divorce is the only option.
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