This Essay Breaks the Law

NYT ^ | Published: March 19, 2006 | By MICHAEL CRICHTON

[Grig]

• The Earth revolves around the Sun.

• The speed of light is a constant.

• Apples fall to earth because of gravity.

• Elevated blood sugar is linked to diabetes.

• Elevated uric acid is linked to gout.

• Elevated homocysteine is linked to heart disease.

• Elevated homocysteine is linked to B-12 deficiency, so doctors should test homocysteine levels to see whether the patient needs vitamins.

ACTUALLY, I can't make that last statement. A corporation has patented that fact, and demands a royalty for its use. Anyone who makes the fact public and encourages doctors to test for the condition and treat it can be sued for royalty fees. Any doctor who reads a patient's test results and even thinks of vitamin deficiency infringes the patent. A federal circuit court held that mere thinking violates the patent.

All this may sound absurd, but it is the heart of a case that will be argued before the Supreme Court on Tuesday.

[Grig]

I just pattented the word 'bump'. I'm going to be soooo rich! :-)

[Publius6961]

I just pattented the word 'bump'. I'm going to be soooo rich! :-)

I just patented the word "food"!

I'll be richer!

[domenad]

Taking just a sliver of license from Full Metal Jacket:

"If I'm gonna patent me a word....my word is 'poontang'."

[tallhappy]

I just pattented the word 'bump'. I'm going to be soooo rich! :-)

Unfortunately there is prior art.

[RightWhale]

A particular test procedure might be patented if it involves only specific equipment that is patentable.

[beezdotcom]

I'm patenting the word "patent". So THERE....nyah.

[Carry_Okie]

If you want the benefits of private research, then you'll have to pay for the product or nobody will make the investment. If you want all research to be done by the government, don't complain when you get the results.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

• The Earth revolves around the Sun.

No, Copernicus. The Earth "orbits" or "circles" the Sun, at least in a heliocentric coordinate system. The Earth revolves around its spin axis, the line between the North and South poles.

In purely geometric terms, it's no more correct to say the Earth orbits the Sun than to say the Sun circles around the Earth. In terms of Newtonian mechanics, neither statement is correct: both bodies orbit their common center of mass.

Copernican mechanics offered neither improved accuracy nor symplicity compared to Ptolemaic. Copernicus used epicycles, but he resolved motion into uniform circular motion, discarding Ptolemy's equant. There is no purely geometric argument to favor one over the other. Galileo apparently did not understand orbital mechanics - either Copernican nor Ptolemaic - well enough to realize this.

[paudio]

I just pattented the words "I just pattended..."

[babygene]

I'm copyrighting the notes "C" and "E". Copyrights last longer and I'm going to make big bucks from the record companies.

[tx_eggman]

I will n-v-r pay a dim- for th- right to us- th- l-tt-r -.

[tx_eggman]

I just pattent-d the words "I just pattended..."

So, you own the rights to a typo ... good work.

[babygene]

"Elevated homocysteine is linked to B-12 deficiency, so doctors should test homocysteine levels to see whether the patient needs vitamins."

As I understand it, ideas and facts specifically CANT be patented. Neither can recipes or mathematical formulas.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

If you want the benefits of private research, then you'll have to pay for the product or nobody will make the investment. If you want all research to be done by the government, don't complain when you get the results.

So there is no debate on the proper role of "intellectual property" laws?

The original intent of such laws was to encourage innovation, but now that there are 10^12th patent attorneys churning the patent laws the same way trial lawyers are churning tort laws, innovation is coming to a standstill. One of three University research projects is being abandoned these days to to conflicts with somebody's intellectual property.

So what is the proper role of these laws? To enrich lawyers? Or to encourage innovation?

[Politicalmom]

I am trying to decide between patenting stune or beeber...but I would probably get more $ by going with hate monger or racist. : )

[pankot]

I just pattenended the "F" word and I'm gonna be richer than all of you!

[paudio]

So, you own the rights to a typo ... good work.

LOL

[ItsForTheChildren]

Granted, I'm no expert, but as I recall, revolve is to orbit around a central point. The earth revolves around the sun and rotates on its axis.

[MarkL]

And I've just copyrighted the letters 'S' and 'U'.

Anytime some lawyer wants to SUe someone, they'll have to pay me first!

Mark

[Caesar Soze]

• The speed of light is a constant.

Incorrect. The speed of light varies depending on what medium it's moving through. That's why we get fun things like refraction and Cerenkov radiation. I wouldn't expect a New York Times writer to know that, of course, it's fairly advanced middle school and high school science.