Behind the baby gap lies a culture of contempt for parenthood (From the "Guardian", on top of it)

Guardian Unlimited ^ | 3/7/2006 | Madeline Bunting

[Rutles4Ever]

A seven-month pregnant woman - her belly vast - was at a supper with a friend. He, being of the family type, told her she was very lucky to be expecting a baby. He was the first person who had said such a thing, she told him. [snip]

How is it that in cultures all over the world pregnancies prompt congratulations rather than anxious questions about childcare? How is it that in a culture equipped, materially and medically, to ease child-rearing, we are so reluctant to enjoy new life? [snip]

The answer, I would argue, is that a bias against having babies has permeated our culture. This phenomenon needs a new word - anti-natalism - and it is this that prompts a good part of that pregnancy trepidation. The only consolation to my mind is the spectacular everyday acts of rebellion by which thousands of babies still manage to get born in this country. [snip]

The point is that parenthood is against the grain of all the aspirations of our culture. Go back to the point where I started - the pregnancy anxiety around care. That anxiety is provoked by more than just the logistics of childcare availability, despite what the nursery campaigners argue. It's there because pregnancy sabotages three characteristics highly valued by our culture.

[grellis]

My 'hood is nearly as bad as yours--430 homes, maybe a dozen kids total, counting my three. Our house is on the market now. When we look at prospective homes, we always keep an eye out for swing sets, kids bikes and other childhood paraphernalia. If we don't see any in the neighborhood, it is out.

[Tamar1973]

Carter - one

Carter only had one young enough to live in the White House. I think he actually had 3 children altogether.

[HitmanLV]

Don't get me wrong - I wasnt saying that a lot of that stuff was good. I was just saying that the same things that stink about our culture will certainly stink in their culture. That;s all.

[Aliska]

I wasn't sure what you meant. Thank you for the clarification.

[Jaysun]

I really question what kind of citizens this next generation would be, raised by self-absorbed, narcissistic, self-worshipping parents. Hopefully, that kind of disorder will breed itself out of our country.

Maybe they'll rebel by being decent people. Isn't that the way it usually goes? The kids do a one-ate-eee to feel independent, or sometimes just to piss off Ma and Pa? Let's hope. I think they'll be surprisingly Conservative, betcha a dollar.

[Jaysun]

My 'hood is nearly as bad as yours--430 homes, maybe a dozen kids total, counting my three. Our house is on the market now. When we look at prospective homes, we always keep an eye out for swing sets, kids bikes and other childhood paraphernalia. If we don't see any in the neighborhood, it is out.

My neighborhood is crawling with kids. The reason, I think, is that this is one of the school districts that everyone wants to be in. And there aren't many liberals here (Huntsville, AL).

I have a real estate company and I always tell people in your situation to consider the school district - I'm sure you have been - and drive through the neighborhoods you're interested in on Saturday afternoons instead of Saturday mornings because many kids stay indoors on Saturday mornings (cartoons, parents haven't ran them out yet, etc). Neighborhoods with parks and/or schools nearby also tend to have lots of kids.

[Jaysun]

While the left may be killing their own, they have scumbags like Jay Bennish trying to indoctrinate our kids.

True. However, I think this generation is going to surprise a lot of people by how Conservative they turn out to be.

[MoochPooch]

Here in NY I see women having babies, but it's more like a narcissistic thing. They treat them like pets or trophies to show off. Also, they're obsessed with getting their figures back after pregnancy. They're producing some very amoral & ill-mannered kids.

While I hate to see the birthrate declining in Western countries, I do feel that some people really are not cut out for parenting. Either they're too selfish or damaged. Hopefully, most people will want to have children -- and raise them, for the right reasons.

[Jaysun]

Liberalism isn't hereditary.

Of course it isn't. But nobody influences a child's values and beliefs more than their parents, and rightfully so.

[HitmanLV]

Lots of conservative parents have liberal kids, and lots of liberal parents have conservative kids. I think it has to do with worldview and attitude, which parents influence but certainly don't determine.

[Jaysun]

Lots of conservative parents have liberal kids, and lots of liberal parents have conservative kids. I think it has to do with worldview and attitude, which parents influence but certainly don't determine.

I've seen studies that indicate that the majority of Conservatives (something like 80%-90%) had Conservative parents, and the Liberals were no different.

[HitmanLV]

Works for me.

[annie laurie]

There was another thread posted today with a similar theme ... you might find it interesting:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1593531/posts

Different article, same topic.

[Huck]

My grandmother counselled me before she died not to have kids. Said my upbringing left me unprepared to raise kids properly. I've taken her advice. My grandma was the most solid, reliable adult in my life. I miss her. God is very, very good to me for some inexplicable reason, and He gave me a wife who is like me. I guess we're mutants. We have 6 guinea pigs and two bunny rabbits.

[Victoria Delsoul]

Good read, thanks.

[FierceDraka]

Any demographic that spurns having children is doomed to extinction.

Just ask the Shakers. Oh wait! There aren't any left!

[Alien Gunfighter]

I like kids, too. In fact, I have one of my own. But that is enough. I don't care much for people telling me I have to have more and more just to support some failed social contract that should have never been enacted in the first place.

I do dig the chef joke, though. I think I'll try that one out on momma... =D

[Alien Gunfighter]

Perhaps, but it also means less technological and cultural innovation.

Hardly. There are more people today than there ever were before, and not much innovation. I suppose it's possible, as per the saying about the thousand monkeys banging on a thousand typewriters for a thousand years. But that's a lot of bananas and monkey crap while we're waiting for the next world-changing marvel.

[Alien Gunfighter]

What we are seeing is a large number of educated white people who, for whatever reasons, aren't having children.

Smart people (not necessarily the educated ones) are aware of the strain on finances, time, and energy that children cause. They are more careful, slelctive, and likely to wait until they can devote the time and trouble to raising one or two. Stupid people just like to screw because it feels good. Who drops out more kiddies? Yep, you guessed it.

I have a son, but the "who will take care of you in your old age" arguement holds no water with me. Geriatrics with relatives don't often get visits. Best thing to do is the same thing you do for retirement--plan for it.

[Alien Gunfighter]

My grandmother counselled me before she died not to have kids. Said my upbringing left me unprepared to raise kids properly.

I'm a poster child myself. No dad, mom who only cared when the welfare people came over. Not sad, just the way it was.

Just because you had bad parents doesn't mean you'll be one. In fact, it may be even better; you'll know precisely what not to do. When dealing with my son, I often think, "What would mom/dad do?" and do the opposite.