Posted on 03/06/2006 9:51:00 PM PST by tbird5
It happens to the best of women. Here's Rosalind Wiseman, who has spent her entire working life teaching girls to treat each other decently. The script for the movie Mean Girls was based on her 2002 best-selling Queen Bees & Wannabes, a book that helps parents understand the drama and danger in the adolescent girl world. She knows the minefields that lie in gossip, jealousy, disloyalty and cruel judgments, and offers solid prescriptions for changing bad behaviour.
Yet despite her experience, she recently found herself sizing up two mothers who came to see her.
In her view, the women paid too much attention to their appearance, especially their hair. They seemed catty in their conversation, were micromanaging their kids' lives, and were silly.
"All these things came into my head. Why? They are antithetical to what I teach and believe," Wiseman says. "I was still judging these women."
Where does this nastiness come from?
Wiseman thinks it exists because it's supposed to exist. Being nasty to each other is one of the unspoken rules about how girls and women are supposed to behave; one of the rigidly enforced North American standards of what constitutes femininity.
"It's everything you know but haven't been sat down and taught," as Wiseman puts it.
When she judged the two women so harshly, it was as if she was acting out one of the observations she made in her book that girls and women can be their own worst enemies.
(Excerpt) Read more at thestar.com ...
Do you wish you had a button that said: "Thank you for sharing, now SHUT UP and quit Whining!" ????
I'm a HEARTLESS B*(CH!
YEAH!
Having raised two daughters, I will say that teenage girls are the most vicious animals on this planet.
I also cannot stand pettiness. It's a waste of time.
Now there is the pissant we know and love!
Oh boy.
To be honest, female attorneys are impossible to deal with. Everything is a death match.
This probably makes me a "mean girl" in some sense, but I've never enjoyed friendships with women (and I am one). The ladies I know tend to be intensly interested in things I am not. It wasn't until I discovered FR that I found women who understood the same things I've always known.
I am more comfortable with men. Men are more WYSIWYG - I don't have to cut through emotional falderol and psycobabble to get the meaning of what they say.
My late mother used to try to console me when I lost the friendship of girl when I was young by telling me I was too smart for them . . . .didn't make the sting go away, but sure made me appreciate, and be confident in, my intelligence.
You are so far off - you have no idea.
We are the antithesis of this article. Women who actually like and support each other. Women who applaud each other's achievements. We are the real women of conservative values.
We don't need to be catty - because we are secure in who we are and what we have and appreciate the differences in each other.
You would benefit from making our acquaintance.
;-)
Strong does not equal mean and heartless though. Unfortunately, some women don't know the difference.
Well spoken, my dear.
Allegra, sharpen those nails...I'm sharpening my wit.
Agreed.
Strong = confident, able to do the job in front of you without fail, determined, capable, good with pets...
All those are good qualities!
OOOOOHHHHHHHH the pettiness thing.
To me is it unfreaking real how many women complain about utter b.s. while if they were born two hundred years ago would be working a farm and have their hands in the dirt.
No massages, no nail salon, no day spa, just sweat hard work and real problems.
Don't even get me started.
I'd pour it over your head, darlink.
I've had the unique experience of being up front and center with a few real b**tch petty woman...the type of women who are rail thin and visit your table to see what you are eating...so they can talk about your calorie intake later
I try to rise above it, but will admit that when I am cornered, I will strike back.
I like strong women. I don't like mean, heartless ones.
Generally, strong women tend to be:
-Smart
-Funny
-Independent-yet still capable of being a loving partner to the RIGHT man-without being Co-dependent!
-Confident
-Conservative
-Hardworking
-Modern, without being a slave to the latest fads and fashions
-Has her own sense of class and style that makes her stand out
Mean, heartless women tend to be:
-Annoying
-Feminist
-Liberal
-Man-hating
-Liberal
-B*llbusting
-Liberal
-Heartless
-Uncaring
-Liberal
Neh, you sound too much like Oprah.
I would pay good money to see that ;)
You can always ask if they carry their Syrup of Epecac in their purse or do they just mainline it. ;)
THOU SHALT NOT WASTE BEER!!!
Sorry to yell dear, but some things get my hackles up! ;o)
Snork.
It was warm and flat.
Good lord....
Even I'm ducking after that remark.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.