Here, without comment or casting aspersions toward any FR poster, is an amusing, yet apropos, comic:
Posted on 03/05/2006 12:58:26 PM PST by Pukin Dog
Well its that time of year, folks.
Do you remember?
Its right around this time when Republicans and Conservative start heading for the hills during an election year, sure as hell that our agenda and mission are doomed, doomed, doomed. The President isn’t fighting back, the Liberals have captured the agenda, the Media is out for blood, and there is nothing we can do but sit back and wait to lose big in November.
“What is the President thinking?” “How can we beat the Democrats with all this bad news happening around the world?” “The economy isn’t as good as we think!” And let’s not forget that old favorite: “We are bogged down!” Oh hell, people. Woe is us, right? We just suck right now, and we should just pack it all in and head for the damn hills, because the President has lost his mind (“he was never really a Conservative, you know?”) and is now the lamest of ducks, just waiting out the next three years until he can go back to Texas and build a library.
The port deal has killed us, Iraq aint working out like we want, and the Media-OH, the media! Its just bad out there, and it is time to start saving up our canned food, filling the tanks on our generators, getting batteries for the short-wave, and hunkering down for a nice, long period of Democratic rule.
Right?
Well, no, and I’m going to tell you why.
Listen carefully, FReepers: If you believe any of the last two paragraphs, it only means that you are dumber than you look. Do you believe the polls? If you do, then you are not only dumber than you look, you are dumber than Juan Williams looks. The only people dumber, are those who think George W. Bush is done beating Democrats about the head and shoulders.
I’ve been sitting back, reading threads, looking at all the negativism, hoping that someone would say what needs to be said, but I haven’t seen it. It is like all the historical conditions surrounding recent elections have gone out the window and this time the Democrats are going to finally break through and whip our asses this time around.
If you are one of those people who believe that the Democrats are going to win on November, you probably also think I have an F-14 available to sell to you on E-Bay. Don’t be stupid. I have been saying to anyone willing to listen, that Republicans are going to PICK UP SEATS in the November elections. We are not going to lose the House, nor are we going to lose the Senate. In fact, in the Senate, we might actually gain a 60 seat majority.
The reasons that we are going to win in November are as follows: • The War on Terror • The Economy • A Nuclear Iran • The Dubai Port Deal • Hurricane Katrina • The NSA Wiretaps • Valerie Plame
Believe it or not, these are the reasons that we are actually going to win come November Some of you are thinking “But Pukin, how can that be?” Well baby, let me tell you how it ‘be’.
Each of the issues that I listed above is only a battle, an engagement or skirmish in the only real war we are fighting. It’s really very simple. We are in a serious and bloody war. Not against terrorists, not against Liberalism and the ‘progressive mindset’. It is not a war against Multi-Culturalism or against the Gay Agenda, the MSM, Hollywood or San Francisco.
The war is between Good and Evil.
When Good and Evil are at war, Evil ALWAYS appears to be winning, until it finally loses at the last moment. The only way that Evil wins, is when Good refuses to fight. I don’t mean fight, like give and take like a couple of palooka boxers either. I mean fight by not being stupid enough to fall for your enemy’s trap. Conservatives seem to always forget this once they take power. Evil appears to be winning by its mere presence in our lives. We wake up each day hoping to not run into Evil and it seems we always do, and can rarely, if ever avoid it.
As Evil grows more and more common, we get angry at Good for somehow not doing enough to protect us from it. We start thinking that Good maybe aint all that good, anyhow. Then we throw up our hands in disgust, and let Evil take over the agenda by giving up and doing nothing to stop it. Finally, as Evil gains momentum, we join it in attacking the Good, just so we don’t have to stand with the losers. This is the biggest problem we have, in that many Conservatives just don’t want to be wrong. As if I-Pukin never made a mistake? I’m sure I’m not done making them either.
In the past 40 years, whenever Democrats have won major elections they have done so by following one theme, which is the only theme that has worked, ever can work, and would work again this year, if not for the fact that a few Republicans that you have not heard from yet, actually understand this dynamic well enough to prevent it from happening again.
The Democrat Party theme is to demoralize and depress Conservatives.
It is the only winning idea that has worked for Democrats since days of John F. Kennedy.
Notice all that polling going on out there? Notice how much press attention they are getting. The MSM is literally manufacturing news which they are using to depress and demoralize YOU. When the MSM takes a poll which does not result in news bad enough to worry you, what do they do? They bury it. The rule is to make sure that you don’t get any news that would cause you to have a reason for optimism.
Some have suggested that the all the negative polling is designed for the purpose of energizing liberals and helping Democratic fundraising. Nothing could be further from the truth. Democrat politicians are not as stupid as they appear on TV. They are well aware that no amount of energy or dollars from their base can defeat the Conservative agenda. They learned that hard lesson again from the defeats of Al Gore and John Kerry.
They had big money, enthusiastic supporters, the MSM on their side and what happened? They got whipped. Yeah, you can talk about Gore winning the popular vote, and all that, but that fool also lost his home state. In short, those who knew him best voted against his crazy ass.
Some of you are angry that these past elections were so close, but if someone could actually convince me that George Bush broke my bass boat so that I could not go fishing this weekend, and that it wont work again unless my taxes are raised, well………?
When Bill Clinton was elected it was due to primarily to the fact that Conservatives were angry with Bush senior. They thought they had good reason for their anger at the time, but I wonder how many Conservatives, had they known what the Clintons would do to our nation would have still voted against George H. Bush, or even worse, for the little General Perot?
Democrats win ONLY when they can divide Conservatives into separate camps of angry voters. Some of you will stay home; some will vote for a losing alternative if there is one, just so you can show your ‘dissatisfaction’. So, while you got eight years of Clintons, you sure SHOWED um’ they can’t mess with YOU, dammit!
Some of you say, “Well Pukin, we cant count on Bush any more, he spends like a drunken sailor, and he is for open borders, and he wont protect the ports, and he wont wash my dishes, and he doesn’t pay me enough, and my kids don’t like me, and ………..”
Will you just shut-up, already?
Let me ask you something, FReepers?
Since when could Bush count on YOU?
I have never seen so much anti-Bush sentiment on Free Republic like I have in the past couple of weeks, with the attacks on the so-called Bush-bots (a great tool to whip out when you have no argument or facts to share) and it makes me wonder why some of you EVER supported Bush in the first place.
I recall that when Bush was running against Al Gore, he made a few pledges on a few issues. None of which had to do with Terrorism. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think you were promised a Tax-cut, Social Security reform, originalist Judges, a better Economy and honor and dignity in the White House. Did I leave something out? Now, as far as I know, this is the best Economy the U.S has ever had, we got not one, but THREE Tax-cuts, Bush certainly attempted Social Security Reform and do I have to even mention Roberts and Alito? “But Pukin, what about Miers! Doesn’t that prove that Bush has abandoned us?”
As is well known, I sort of lost my mind over the Miers issue too. I was all over the place on that, but have come to understand that Miers was never going to be on the Supreme Court, and was only a ‘Stalking Horse’ to draw Liberal fire away from other issues and expose their opposition research against better candidates. I believe it. You don’t have to. We got Alito, and that is what matters.
On the last pledge, the one about honor and dignity? I seriously doubt that even with the most powerful of microscopes, anyone is going to find any of Dubya’s DNA on any of the sinks in the White House bathrooms, and Laura Bush is nothing like the shrill, shrieking shrew that ultimately lost out to the chunky Monica L. in the battle for the affections of Cheeseburger Willie.
By my count, Bush did what he said he would do.
Not to mention the fact that he managed to corral Saddam and prevent any domestic terrorism since 911. So which is it? Can you not count on Bush, or can he not count on you?
Did you enjoy the Sunday shows this week? Pretty dreary stuff huh? The sky is falling and all that? One thing that Bush understands that a lot of you do not, is that you folks are the only ones watching that garbage. The Bush Administration understands that 98% of the country is not going to be spending a beautiful Sunday morning planted in front of the tube catching every word that Timmah Russert throws against a wall to see what can stick.
This is the first Sunday of the month, which means that about 50 million or so people got more from their communion wafer than they got from Steffie about what they should be concerned about. If you were one of the 6 people who watched Bob Shieffer, you can take comfort in knowing that about as many people as ingested Botulism from canned food today, but are still better off from their poison than you are from yours.
Everything you see on your TV during this phase of the political cycle is aimed right at you, Mr. Conservative-Political-Junkie. It is meant to piss you off, make you depressed, make you help foment that wave of negativism that catches up others and brings them to that place where together you start actually believing that things are as bad at they appear. Don’t you ever wonder how all these pollsters manage to find all these angry Republicans who have abandoned Bush between the hours of 10am and 4pm (when 99% of polling calls are done)? Are you one of the few, proud and brave who think that everyone who calls C-Span is a former-Conservative-gone-liberal over the policies of George W. Bush too?
If I believed what I heard from C-Span callers, I might also be inclined to believe that George Bush is selling our ports to the A-Rabs so that he, Ken Lay and Haliburton can enrich themselves by selling a Gitmo-toilet-soaked Koran to each of the terrorists as they climb out of UAE-screened cargo crates on their way to stand with the other terrorists waiting outside your local Home Depot for an opportunity to sneak into your home and disconnect your cable so that you wont hear the CNN warning about the Global-Warming-generated Tsunami that is coming to kill you on behalf of Al Qaeda.
I don’t believe what I hear from C-Span callers. You shouldn’t either. I also don’t believe polls which do not reflect a 40-40-20 (Republican-Democrat-Independent) split among LIKELY voters who have a job. But you won’t see those polls coming from the Media, and you won’t even see them from Rasmussen until around September, because that is when the ratio of people who don’t hang up on pollsters reaches better than 10%. The only poll that I would be paying any attention to right now is the Battlefield Poll (Goeas and Lake) because it is the only poll that has any potential for an accurate assessment of what is going on in politics right now.
Enough of the rant; let me tell you why we are going to win.
We are going to win in November because Democrats politicians are stupid enough to believe these polls even though they know they are bogus. They believe them, because they don’t have any other choice, accept to go out and raise money while putting forward a positive agenda for America. Democrats and Liberals by their very nature cannot have a positive plan and message for America. Every Democratic message you have seen for the past 40 years is as follows: “Vote for me, or you are doomed”.
In the same way that if the Democrats lose 10% of the black vote, they can’t win, the same is true in reverse if they can get 10% of Conservatives to just stay home. So ask yourself; are you doomed? If the UAE writes checks to American stevedores working on the terminals on OUR ports instead of the Brits that do now, are you doomed? If Valerie Plame can’t make a dime except on the cover of Vanity Fair, are you doomed? If Michael Brown lacks the balls to force Governor Blanc-stare to tell Mayor-in-the-hood Nagin that black people don’t mind riding in the back of the bus if they are otherwise about to DROWN, are you doomed?
When you have the media yelling “It’s Civil War!” every time some insurgent goes for his promised 72 pure ones; when so-called Conservatives on the Radio attack the administration for ratings dollars; when washed-up pundits looking for government jobs and media attention sell their opinions to the highest bidder to in a desperate bid to stay in the limelight and it is left to the afore-mentioned dopey Juan Williams to suggest that the attacks on the President are just a bit out of line, even then, are you doomed?
The Democrat Party is at this very moment committing political suicide once again, because they have decided that they will not put forward a positive plan for what THEY would do for America if they were to regain power. Back in early December, Howard Dean (their standard-bearer) promised Tim Russert that Democrats would put forward their plan for America in January 2006. Remember that? But then, John Murtha, looking to insulate himself from his own Defense Appropriations Illegalities Probe, proclaimed that the troops should come home now! Thinking that any attacks on his character would be seen as revenge against his (convenient) war stance, he only gave Democrats a spanking when they got clobbered in public reaction by their weakness on Security.
The “Plan” that Dean was to put forward was close enough to the Murtha position to make it impossible to use as the Democrat platform. Democrats have spent the last 3 months arguing among themselves on what kind of plan they could put forward that would not make them look weak on Security and Defense. They have decided that the best Democrat plan is NO DEMOCRAT PLAN. Their strategy is to use their friends in the MSM to bash Bush on a constant basis, until enough of YOU peel away from Republicans and allow Democrats to win some elections.
I repeat: The Democrats have decided that they can’t risk telling the country what they will do for America if they win, so their plan is to make sure that enough of you are pissed off enough at the President and Congress to stay home to insure that Republicans lose. The bad news is that a heck of a lot of you folks are playing right into their hands. The good news is that there are not enough of you to really affect things that way, and the people who will decide this election are not paying attention to all this noise and wont until around September and none of what you see and hear from the Media and the pundits and even the Conservatives-gone-soft on your radios is going to matter.
It amazes me that when Conservatism is one vote away from winning the 40 year battle over Roe-v-Wade, some you would risk that opportunity with a Democrat-controlled Congress because you don’t want some Mexican citizen to have the legal right to pick your Strawberries. Do you expect Senate confirmation hearings for Bush’s next nominee to be scheduled around those Impeachment proceedings? Sure. And you are just going to love the Democrat border protection plan: “We’ll give you a driver’s license Mr. Illegal Alien, if you just promise you will drive back to Mexico after work every night. Deal?”)
I repeat again that current events don’t matter, because we are going to win. We won’t lose the House or Senate; in fact we will gain seats. The Democrats will not be able to sustain a message that their lack of a plan is better than the Republican plan. When the 90% tunes into political news that they will avoid all through the summer, a majority of them will look in their wallets and vote Republican. They will note that they have not been attacked by terrorists in almost 5 years; that the UAE has not let in a single bad-guy, (because that deal is going through. Choke on it); that the U.S. will have either bombed Iran back into oil-dependency, or announced plans to do so; and/or innumerable other events that will shape the electorate prior to November.
The issues I listed above are what allow Democrats to be over-confident and willing to rely on the strategy of no-plan beats a plan. They have decided that they can sustain Media Bush-bashing all the way to the elections, and not have to risk turning off voters through an admission that they only intend to do what Liberals do in power, which is to steal and spend more hard-earned American money and give it to those who would punish you for ever daring to free yourself from government dependency.
So, who will be the first to call me a Bush-bot?
Do I agree with everything that Bush does?
Hell, I don’t agree with everything my Momma does, but if you want to call me a ‘Momma-bot’, I guess I’ll take the name proudly. Get it?
Had Bush campaigned on a promise to make me happy every damn day, agree with me or lose my respect, and agree that Michael Savage knows more about running the country than the President does, then I guess I would have to consider staying home on Election Day.
But then, wouldn’t that also make in an idiot?
Thanks for letting me rant.
PD
Here, without comment or casting aspersions toward any FR poster, is an amusing, yet apropos, comic:
Gosh, I wasn't aware that former Navy pilots were infallible and spoke with the all-knowing Voice of God. Now that you've told me, of course I retract my earlier fact-based analysis in favor of Pukin's insult-filled rant.
Only... wait a minute... what if two F-14 pilots disagree with each other? OMG, would the universe implode or something?
No fair! I saw him first.
Yeah, the GOP might get a 60-seat majority in November. And the Detroit Lions might win the Super Bowl next year. But of the two, I'd give the latter the shorter odds.
I offered him 10-1 odds. For those of you keeping track at home, that means he should take the bet if he thinks the GOP has better than a measly 9% chance of getting the 60-seat majority. But he won't. I think he knows that the prospect is ludicrous.
Nattering Nabob
That only happens over who picked up the last round.
I retract my earlier fact-based analysis in favor of Pukin's insult-filled rant.
Don't you yet get that my post set it up so that you have to be dumb to be insulted? Or was it that you have to be insulted to be dumb? Or was it the other way? Yeah one of those. You pick.
Betcha if I looked really hard I could find quite a few Navy pilots (or, even better, Marines) who are Democrats. Heck, I bet there are even a handful who voted for Hillary.
So while I respect and appreciate your service (seriously) being a serviceman doesn't make you any more politically astute than the general populace.
Don't you yet get that my post set it up so that you have to be dumb to be insulted?
Oh, okay. In that case: I think the GOP is likely to lose seats in one or both houses this November, and if you disagree then you have the brains of a turnip, the wisdom of a newborn, the genitalia of a hamster, and the intellect of a Democrat. Also you probably smell bad and you're attracted to small boys. But this isn't set up to be insulting.
Well, then you should try harder.
1. A coalition of combined NATO member forces will destroy Iran’s nuclear capability against the wishes of the U.N. Security counsel, who in private supports the action. Iran will respond by launching conventional missile attacks against Israel, convincing the U.S. Congress to sell the F-22 Raptor to the Israelis and Aussies. Iraq provides logistical assistance in the attack. Confidence = 8
Yet to be determined.
2. Congressman John Murtha is indicted on corruption charges after having failed to insulate himself from federal prosecution by becoming a darling of the anti-war Left. Murtha and other Democrats label the indictment as a payback against an outspoken critic of the war, but the Feds have an air-tight case. Confidence = 8
Yet to be determined, though not very likely to occur.
3. Justice Samuel Alito is confirmed with 62 yes-votes to the Supreme Court. Riots and Sit-ins are conducted throughout the Alito hearings, with Democrats in Congress meeting with the protesters on a nightly basis, each looking to bolster their image with the nut-bag Left. Confidence = 9+
Alito confirmed with 58 votes.
4. Congressman Tom Delay is cleared of all charges and resumes his place as Majority leader after a nasty public battle with Congressman Pence for the role. Speaker Denny Hastert; damaged after the Abramoff scandals considers retiring from public life. Democrats make Delay’s return the centerpiece of their 2006 election campaigns. Confidence = 7+
RE: DeLay - Yet to be determined
RE: Hastert - Not very likely to occur.
5. Congress retroactively rolls back the Alternative Minimum Tax, Passes the extended Patriot Act, and Passes a decent Illegal Immigration Bill with VP Dick Cheney providing the swing vote on two of the three issues. Confidence = 8+
Yet to be determined.
6. President Bush addresses the Iraqi Parliament IN PERSON in Iraq, and is seen as the individual to quell a rising desire among some for an Iraqi civil war. Bush’s approval rating reaches above 60% and remains so through the 2006 elections. Confidence = 8
Yet to be determined.
7. The Republican Senate falls one vote shy of a veto-proof majority after upset wins in Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania and New Hampshire, and the special election in Nevada to replace Senator Harry Reid, who resigned in disgrace over the Abramoff debacle. Confidence = 7
Yet to be determined.
Reid resignation, (a/c "Abramoff debacle"), not very likely to occur.
8. The Republican Congress passes authorization for drilling in ANWR, sparking violent protests and liberal threats of violence against oil workers in Alaska who work on the project. Multiple environmental impact lawsuits are launched in a last-ditch attempt to prevent drilling from taking place. Confidence = 8+
Yet to be determined.
9. The F-22 Raptor sees combat over the skies of Iran and Syria clearing the skies for coalition aircraft protecting the Iraqi borders. The U.S.S. Ronald Reagan becomes a fixture in the Persian Gulf after Al Qaeda declares war against the Saudi Royal Family. In exchange for NATO protection, the price of crude oil falls below $30 per gallon. The U.S. Economy explodes, protecting Conservative seats in Congress and providing a few upsets as well. Confidence = 7
USS Ronald Reagan currently in Persian Gulf; Al Qaeda attack on Saudi oil facility last month.
The rest: Yet to be determined.
10. President Bush announces his agenda for his final two years in Washington will be to finally replace the current U.S. Tax code with a simpler, more private process. Flat tax and VAT are discussed, with a modified Flat tax becoming the proposed plan presented to Congress. Confidence = 7
Yet to be determined.
11. Republicans are going to PICK UP SEATS in the November elections. We are not going to lose the House, nor are we going to lose the Senate. In fact, in the Senate, we might actually gain a 60 seat majority.
Yet to be determined.
Have you heard that GWB and Laura will apparently not be voting in the March 7 Texas Republican primary. Unless there is a Republican runoff in Crawford in April -- and they vote in that runoff -- they will not technically be "Republicans" under Texas law from 2006-2007. Instead they will be unaffiliated voters if they skip both parts of the primaries.
I loved watching Russert eat a good moose turd pie on election night...
The best part of it was that Tom Brokhaw actually appeared to be happy watching Russert squirm like a maggot in such a confectionary delight.
I don't buy the “polls” or the latest left wing attempts to hijack the GOP '08 presidential primary by telling us McLame or Julie-annie are the great hopes of the GOP...
Pukin Dog's beer supply will survive through the evening and into mid week before he is forced to make another store run.
Yet to be determined.
Me thinks Politicalities is a troll, who is scared to death of the truth.
Texas and Wyoming.
If I wasn't a married woman.....................
hey, doesn't matter. That was just as good as sex.
And chocolate.
"the shrill, shrieking shrew that ultimately lost out to the chunky Monica L. in the battle for the affections of Cheeseburger Willie."
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