Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Are Stay at Home Moms “Letting Down the Team?” [Feminists bemoan cultural trend]
AlbertMohler.com ^ | February 24, 2006 | Albert Mohler

Posted on 02/24/2006 3:41:10 PM PST by Constitutionalist Conservative

Are stay at home moms a threat to civilization? Those of you who are shocked by this question should take note of the fact that ABC's "Good Morning America" program devoted segments to this question on two successive days, featuring the arguments of Linda Hirshman, a prominent feminist thinker.

"I am saying an educated, competent adult's place is in the office," Hirshman told "Good Morning America." In other words, moms who stay at home with their children have given themselves to a calling that no educated or competent adult should desire or accept

Hirshman threw herself into the debate over motherhood last year, when she responded to a spate of media reports that indicated an amazing trend--large numbers of highly educated young women on elite college and university campuses indicated that they did not intend to pursue a career outside the home, but to give themselves to being wives and mothers.

Hirshman's response was vehement and verbose. Writing in the pages of The American Prospect, Hirshman argued that "feminism has largely failed in its goals." As she explained, "There are few women in the corridors of power, and marriage is essentially unchanged. The number of women at universities exceeds the number of men. But, more than a generation after feminism, the number of women in elite jobs just doesn't come close."

According to Hirshman's diagnosis, this problem is largely traceable to the fact that too many women are staying at home with their children. In particular, she attacked the notion that women should feel free to choose motherhood as a life calling. In attacking "choice feminism," Hirshman asserts that women who give themselves to mothering undermine the status of all women and threaten the emergence of an egalitarian civilization.

In her article in The American Prospect, Hirshman reviewed a wealth of data. Interestingly, the statistics she expects her readers to find so disappointing will be the cause of surprise and hope for those who value the family, parenthood, and the responsibility of child rearing. As she explains, the census numbers for all working mothers have fallen modestly since 1998, after having leveled off around 1990.

Concerned by these statistics, Hirshman decided to undertake some research of her own. She selected a sample of young women who had been identified as brides in the "Sunday Styles" section of The New York Times in 1996. Hirshman believed that "the brilliantly educated and accomplished brides" of her sample would be indicative of the way this generation of young women is approaching career, marriage, and motherhood.

As Hirshman relates: "At marriage, they included a vice president of client communication, a gastroenterologist, a lawyer, an editor, and a marketing executive. In 2003 and 2004, I tracked them down and called them. I interviewed about 80 percent of the 41 women who announced their weddings over three Sundays in 1996. Around 40 years old, college graduates with careers: Who was more likely than they to be reaping feminism's promise of opportunity? Imagine my shock when I found almost all the brides from the first Sunday at home with their children. Statistical anomaly? Nope. Same result for the next Sunday. And the one after that."

This section of her article is startling, to say the least. Like Hirshman, I must admit that I am surprised by her data. Nevertheless, the fact that so many talented, highly educated, and promising young women were giving themselves to motherhood is a source of genuine hope and encouragement.

Hirshman went on to describe additional findings in her research. "Ninety percent of the brides I found had had babies. Of the 30 with babies, five were still working full time. Twenty-five, or 85 percent, were not working full time. Of those not working full time, 10 were working part time but often a long way from their prior career paths. And half the married women with children were not working at all."

Beyond Hirshman's data, research indicates that far more women than men drop out of the workforce to take care of their children. In addition to this, recent research indicates that women with graduate or professional degrees are only slightly more likely to remain in the workforce after having children than women with only one year of college. "When their children are infants (under a year), 54 percent of females with graduate or professional degrees are not working full time (18 percent are working part time and 36 percent are not working at all). Even among those who have children who are not infants, 41 percent are not working full time (18 percent are working part time and 23 percent are not working at all)."

From Hirshman's perspective, it only gets worse. "This isn't only about daycare," she admits. "Half my Times brides quit before the first baby came. In interviews, at least half of them expressed a hope never to work again. None had realistic plans to work. More importantly, when they quit, they were already alienated from their work or at least not committed to a life of work."

The very fact that these women turned their back on promising careers seems virtually inconceivable to Linda Hirshman. When a female MBA expressed her lack of connection with the men at her previous workplace who got so excited about making deals, Hirshman observes all this with incredulity.

In Hirshman's view, all this simply proves that the feminist revolution was not revolutionary enough. In other words, the revolution that opened the workplace to women did nothing, in her view, to fundamentally reshape marriage and the family power structure. "Why did this happen? The answer I discovered--an answer neither feminist leaders nor women themselves want to face--is that while the public world has changed, albeit imperfectly, to accommodate women among the elite, private lives have hardly budged. The real glass ceiling is at home."

Thus, the problem of "the unreconstructed family" is the concern of Hirshman and many of her fellow feminists. Hirshman, retired as a distinguished visiting professor at Brandeis University, had previously taught academic courses on subjects such as "sexual bargaining." Infused with the ideology of radical feminism, she now argues that the entire pattern of gender relations must be revolutionized.

"Great as liberal feminism was, once it retreated to choice the movement had no language to use on the gendered ideology of the family. Feminists could not say, 'Housekeeping and child-rearing in the nuclear family is not interesting and not socially validated. Justice requires that it not be assigned to women on the basis of their gender and at the sacrifice of their access to money, power, and honor."

Clearly, what she argues that liberal feminism was unable to propose, she now intends to take up as her central argument. She clearly believes that housekeeping and child-rearing are not interesting and should not be socially validated.

In her appearance on "Good Morning America," Hirshman attacked the notion that women can feel fulfilled and validated in the calling of motherhood. As the ABC report indicates, "Hirshman says working is also a matter of feeling fulfilled. She doesn't buy into the arguments of many homemakers who say taking care of the family is the most fulfilling thing they could imagine." Hirshman's response is a demonstration of breathtaking arrogance. "I would like to see a description of their daily lives that substantiates that position," she said. "One of the things I've done working on my book is to read a lot of the diaries online, and their description of their lives does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person."

Get that? Hirshman is telling America's moms that their work is fundamentally unimportant, uninteresting, and fundamentally unworthy of any "complicated" and "educated" person.

Women who stay at home with their children, turning their back on promising careers, "are letting down the team," she asserts. They are rejecting the very feminist ideal that the radical ideologues have adopted and they are undermining the cause of all women, in Hirshman's condescending view.

Make no mistake--Hirshman does not want women to have any real choice in the matter. "Choice feminism" is an abysmal failure, in her view, because it validates what should never be validated--motherhood.

Her answer? "Women who want to have sex and children with men as well as good work in interesting jobs where they may occasionally wield real social power need guidance, and they need it early. Step one is simply to begin talking about flourishing. In so doing, feminism will be returning to its early, judgmental roots. This may anger some, but it should sound the alarm before the next generation winds up in the same situation. Next, feminists will have to start offering young women not choices and not utopian dreams but solutions they can enact on their own. Prying women out of their traditional roles is not going to be easy."

There is more. Hirshman argues that allowing motherhood as a choice is "bad for women individually." Hirshman is ready to tell young women that they have no inherent right to choose a status lower, in Hirshman's view, from what they should seek and demand in the public sphere.

"A good life for humans includes the classical standard of using one's capacities for speech and reason in a prudent way, the liberal requirement of having enough autonomy to direct one's own life, and the utilitarian test of doing more good than harm in the world. Measured against these time-tested standards, the expensively educated upper-class moms will be leading lesser lives."

This is stunning stuff. In Hirshman's view, a woman's choice to deploy her "capacities for speech and reason" as a mother is not prudent or acceptable. Beyond this, she seems to demonstrate an inherent dislike for children in general, and infants in particular. She accuses stay at home moms of "bearing most of the burden of the work always associated with the lowest caste." She identifies these tasks as "sweeping and cleaning bodily waste," and condemned mothers who were described in a press account as "vigilantly watching their babies for signs of excretion 24-7" as "untouchables" by choice.

The very fact that "Good Morning America" devoted two segments to Linda Hirshman and her attack on motherhood is a significant cultural development. Of course, the ABC program included voices that opposed Hirshman's arguments, but these arguments were considered newsworthy nonetheless.

Without doubt, Hirshman is speaking for a sizeable percentage of the cultural elite when she argues that "an educated, competent adult's place is in the office." In the view of so many, the office and the professional workplace are the arenas where real life is lived and important work is done. The thought that motherhood could be a higher calling than law, medicine, finance, or any number of other professions is completely beyond her comprehension. Indeed, she sees the very logic of motherhood as undermining the entire feminist project.

Thus, when she argues that stay at home moms are "letting down the team," she means to shame young women out of motherhood and back into the workplace. At the very least, she argues that mothers should have only one baby so that they can return to the workplace in short order.

The Christian response to this article must be a combination of refutation, amazement, and affirmation of motherhood. Hirshman's article and media appearances can serve to remind us all of the unspeakably high calling of motherhood and to the sacrifices that so many women make, day in and day out, to the raising of children, the nurture of the home, and the shaping of civilization itself.

I respond to Hirshman's arguments from a highly privileged position--as the son, husband, and son-in-law of women who gave and give themselves to the calling of motherhood without reservation. They, like so many millions of other dedicated mothers, are the ones who demonstrate a wisdom and dedication that goes beyond anything a man can offer in terms of motherly intuition, loving devotion, and management challenges that would daunt the boldest Fortune 500 CEO.

Nevertheless, the best refutation of Hirshman's awful argument is the happiness experienced by so many mothers and the evidence of motherly love and attention in the lives of their children.

These women are not "letting down the team." To the contrary, they are holding civilization together where civilization begins--in the home.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: feminazi; feminazism; feminism; fiendette; madwoman; marxistbirdbrain; moralabsolutes; stayathomemoms; traditionalfamilies
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 201-220221-240241-260261-276 last
To: TXBubba

Come on--you know my type of sense of humor by now--well at least I think you do?!?:) I should have included a smiley face though:)


261 posted on 02/27/2006 12:38:42 PM PST by beaversmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 249 | View Replies]

To: Constitutionalist Conservative; TXBubba; beaversmom; trimom; backinthefold; WV Mountain Mama; ...
As a collage graduate, and the mother of three teens who are/were home schooled, I can say there is not a more challenging, rewarding, fulfilling, and yes, sometimes frustrating and heartbreaking career in the world than that of a Homemaker!

While reading this article I was initially sorry that I missed the interview on Good Morning America. On second thought, I reassured myself that I made the right decision years ago not to watch the networks, or much of anything else on TV. Reading this article, this feminazi's message is LOUD and CLEAR!!!!

>>>>>“In attacking "choice feminism," Hirshman asserts that women who give themselves to mothering undermine the status of all women and threaten the emergence of an egalitarian civilization.”<<<<

WHAT? Is this a joke? So, women can choose to murder their unborn babies, but how dare they choose to give birth and then be selfish by raising them? This would be laughable if it wasn’t so sick!

Feminism, with the assistance of liberalism,secularism,and the ENEMEDIA,( using the educational system and the entertainment industry among others), may have succeeded in indoctrinating and brainwashing some females, but there is one thing they will not be able to accomplish…taking the intense desire of most females to marry and have children.

It is worth living in a smaller house, having an older car, going on fewer vacations…whatever it takes, to be at home to teach your children YOUR beliefs and values, and to not subject them to all the garbage that is out there!

Of course, there is a much more qualified source than feminists to teach us how to live.

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be sensible, pure, workers at home,
kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Titus 2:3-5

God Bless Homemakers!

262 posted on 02/27/2006 1:04:53 PM PST by jan in Colorado (Beware of liberals, feminists, and the ENEMEDIA! All enemies from within...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: muir_redwoods; All
"...but the thing she was most grateful for was that I made it possible for her to stay at home when our kids were small and she could be with them every day."

Thank you for sharing your story! What a special gift your wife gave you...letting you know that she was grateful for her life as a Homemaker!

Reading Proverbs 31 we see the value of a homemaker.

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
13 She looks for wool and flax, And works with her hands in delight.
14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.
15 She rises also while it is still night, And gives food to her household, And portions to her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength, And makes her arms strong.
18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor; And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells [them,] And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband [also,] and he praises her, [saying:]
29 "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all."
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, [But] a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:10-31 (NASB)

263 posted on 02/27/2006 1:15:11 PM PST by jan in Colorado
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: wintertime

Thank you for the excellent post.


264 posted on 02/27/2006 3:58:19 PM PST by Zechariah_8_13 (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 164 | View Replies]

To: jan in Colorado

Thank you so much for that verse, it was wonderful, and very much needed in this thread


265 posted on 02/27/2006 7:21:09 PM PST by backinthefold (If it wasnt for moms, baby turtles would never get to sleep in the house)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 263 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom

My 18 month old son was on my lap when I scrolled past the baby picture. He let me know he had seen it.


266 posted on 02/28/2006 10:25:49 AM PST by HungarianGypsy (`)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 187 | View Replies]

To: longtermmemmory
My belief is the reason so many newer moms probably are staying home is because they remember being latch key kids.
On another note, I saw the other side that feminists are talking about. Although my mom wasn't well educated. She was the stereotypical housewife to my stepfather. She did the necessities, but was never there emotionally. I remember her asking if I was going to be a houswife. "Don't you want to be a housewife and take care of your husband?" I completely laughed at that idea. "No. I'm going to have a career." Seventeen years since that conversation and it's hilarious that I have chosen to stay home with my children. Then again, I don't watch soaps and I still need to work on my housekeeping skills.
267 posted on 02/28/2006 10:39:24 AM PST by HungarianGypsy (`)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 259 | View Replies]

To: TXBubba

You are undoubtedly heroes. You chose forming minds to forming widgets.


268 posted on 02/28/2006 10:39:59 AM PST by madconservative
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Fintan

"Gee, free will's a bitch."


Free will and Linda Hirshman.


269 posted on 02/28/2006 10:43:01 AM PST by madconservative
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: TXBubba
"Infused with the ideology of radical feminism, she now argues that the entire pattern of gender relations must be revolutionized."

If the results don't fit the theory, change the rules so that they do...

270 posted on 02/28/2006 11:16:26 AM PST by Exeter (If Life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Constitutionalist Conservative
The basic premise that Conservatives need to understand is that Feminism is not a movement to elevate woman. Quite the contrary. It is a movement, led by very neurotic, compulsion driven types, to disparage true femininity and traditional sex-roles that flow from normal sexuality and the evolution of healthy human societies.

The target of the Feminist is the adequate woman--the woman who excels in the areas that normal women excel in, not in competition with men, in roles normally considered male roles. Anyone who cannot understand that being a wife and mother is a far more important role in the survival and flowering of the species, race, nation or community, than a clerical or sales job working nine to five for an impersonal corporation, is compulsion driven or just plain stupid.

For more detailed analysis: The Feminist Absurdity.

William Flax

271 posted on 02/28/2006 11:24:30 AM PST by Ohioan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: HitmanLV
Whenever anybody tells me they have a rewarding career, I ask them what's so rewarding about it. Blank stare - nobody ever bothered to call them on it! Whenever anybody tells me how much they love their job, I ask what's so fulfilling about it. Blank stare again.

Who wants to admit they're stuck spending 40+ hours per week doing something they'd rather not do? (Feminist pseudo-intellectuals may enjoy propagating their Big Lie.)

272 posted on 02/28/2006 11:34:38 AM PST by Know your rights (The modern enlightened liberal doesn't care what you believe as long as you don't really believe it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 223 | View Replies]

To: TXBubba

My wife and I were married about 20 months ago. I have a J.D., and she has a Masters in Music Education. She knew that once we got married, what she really wanted to do was stay at home and be a housewife and homemaker. Tomorrow, she will be 38 weeks pregnant with our first child, and we're both ecstatic. She has no desire to return to work outside the house (there will be plenty of work available at home) and looks forward to the most important vocation that she can imagine: being a mother to our child.

I am constantly amazed at how fulfilling it is to have someone like that by my side.

To all other wives who are making the conscious decision to stay at home and be a source of comfort and support for their children (and their husbands), thank you. You are making a big difference in the lives of America's future.


273 posted on 02/28/2006 12:25:57 PM PST by Deo et Patria (Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: beaversmom
Come on--you know my type of sense of humor by now--well at least I think you do?!?:) I should have included a smiley face though:)

Yes, smilies are good. It sounded as if you thought I was getting on to you and I wasn't. I certainly know you aren't a stool gazer!...and neither was I. My oldest was very constipated as a baby so I do understand when you need to be concerned about things. But the doctor was talking about those folks who freaked if the poop didn't arrive at a certain hour and minute every day.

274 posted on 02/28/2006 12:46:51 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 261 | View Replies]

To: Deo et Patria

Congratulations! Now do remember as you go through life with your wife though that there are times when she needs to get away from the kids...and be by herself and with you alone. Keep up with dating her! And don't talk about the kids while on your dates. That seems to be our biggest struggle on this end of things now. So much to do that sometimes our relationship seems pushed to the back burner. Don't let that happen and your wife will be happier I assure you.


275 posted on 02/28/2006 12:51:11 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 273 | View Replies]

To: Constitutionalist Conservative
>>>>Hirshman is telling America's moms that their work is fundamentally unimportant, uninteresting, and fundamentally unworthy of any "complicated" and "educated" person.

She's complex all right. In fact, she seems to have several complexes. I think I'll be a total chauvinist here and accuse her of having a God complex.
276 posted on 06/18/2006 10:56:37 AM PDT by .cnI redruM (The last President from VA named George was good too! Allen in 2008!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 201-220221-240241-260261-276 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson