Posted on 02/15/2006 5:51:53 PM PST by qam1
By the time Donna Peterson's three children are grown, her estate will be worth $5 million.
The kids -- now 5, 8 and 16 -- can cash in on the family assets when they turn 30. But there is a catch -- each must sign a prenuptial agreement before saying "I do."
No prenup means no money until their 55th birthdays, says the Chelmsford resident.
"I'm not saying they're going to make a bad choice, but it happens," explains the 45-year-old, who has been happily married for 17 years without a prenup. "At 21, with puppy love, who knows how you're going to feel about the person 10 years down the road? We have to protect what we've earned."
Demands like Peterson's are climbing in the Massachusetts Probate and Family Court, where Middlesex County Register John Buonomo estimates 5 percent of all newlyweds in the Bay State are signing prenups before exchanging vows.
Figures from the register's office show the number of divorces declining by more than 2,600 since 2001, and prenuptial agreements steadily increasing by nearly 13 percent.
Reasons for prenups vary, but Buonomo believes two trends are driving the demand: age and women's professions.
"In the five years I've been register, I've noticed a considerable increase in prenuptial agreements," Buonomo says. "People are living longer, and they want to protect their assets. And more women are bringing up the discussion.
"Women have moved up the socio-economic ladder. They're partners in law firms, doctors and professors, and they want to secure their investments."
Boston lawyer Marty Kane, who represents residents in Greater Lowell, says 25 percent of all his clients' prenups stem from Generation X -- those ages 30 to 40 -- compared to less than 5 percent for older generations.
Generation X, adds Kane, is a guiding force in the rising tide of financial pacts.
"There are a lot of people in this age group that made a ton of money during the peak of the dot-com era," Kane says. "It's this generation that's putting prenups together."
Another push is coming from Generation Xers' baby-boomer parents.
"There's more acceptance of prenups today in general," Kane says. "Parents work very hard to leave a cushion for kids to fall back on. Sometimes you find the push for the prenup isn't necessarily the party getting married, but from the parents who forked over the dough."
That's where the Donna Peterson comes in.
Her oldest son, who is 16, is destined to become the first beneficiary of the family fortune.
There is a Catch-22. Peterson's son has no idea that a prenuptial agreement is in his future if he wants to collect his inheritance.
"He can use his parents as a scapegoat if he has to," says Peterson. "If he's really in love, it shouldn't matter. If it sours the relationship, he can move onward and upward."
Kane says mentioning the word prenup can lead to "one of the most difficult conversations two people can have."
He recalled a personal friend who waited to "drop the bomb" the day before his wedding.
"He was nervous, thinking his bride-to-be might call the wedding off," Kane says. "I wouldn't recommend leaving the discussion for the last minute like he did. But she still agreed to marry him."
Buonomo suspects prenups are increasing because younger people marrying are staying together for shorter periods of time. If a person has valuable assets going into a marriage -- a house, a car, jewelry or cash savings -- he wants to be sure to keep them in case married life is no longer blissful.
"Last week, I saw a woman in her late 30s who was going through her third divorce," says Buonomo. "People fall in love, love is bliss, then all of a sudden, it's not working out, and it's let's get out fast."
His theory?
"Short engagements lead to short marriages," Buonomo says. "There is an important part of marriage and it's called engagement. If people put more time into that, we'd see less divorces, and maybe less prenups."
Depends on the state, probably.
Nope. I don't want to get banned.
Jews have had "prenups" for a long time (over 2000 years). They're called a ketubah. Considering most Orthodox Jewish marriages last longer than typical American marriages, I have reason to believe that the increasing prevalence of pre-nups have little to nothing to do with the permanence of the marriage.
Not in "community property state" Washington
see post 44
Spoken like a true romantic without a shred of realism. Which means your own up and coming marriage will go well. It's the pragmatic bastard who's thinking himself into a life of misery. Kudos to you. You get it.
I think this woman has abrogated her parental duties by relying on a stinking piece of paper that forces her children to do her bidding.
She should try to forge something positive with her kids and teach them how to pick a good mate and build solid relationships...instead of being so frakkin' cynical.
She is typical of the yuppie scum that infest this Commonwealth.
Just m'thoughts....since you asked.
You have a VERY good point....however, their are come really morally corrupt people out there.....and sometimes they hide it VERY well.....until later.
come=some
Too funny. This situation would lead to the prenup getting shot down in court.
How is she controlling them? She doesn't owe them an inheritance at all, and they are not obligated to take her money. If they don't want a prenup they can make their own way in life and she still gives them their inheritance in time for retirement.
>But when it's the woman with the money they insist on the prenup<
Well, is it any wonder? Wasn't that long ago when everything a woman owned became exclusively her husband's property on her wedding day. Can you blame us?
Not if those assets are comingled during the marriage.
You think that this is the only instance of this woman thinking this way with regards to raising her children?
I say it reveals very much about her character.
If her children grow up and say, "Screw you mumsy. I'll marry whomever I damned well please."...then good for them. They will have grown up with some decent values despite her.
"This situation would lead to the prenup getting shot down in court."
You are correct, quite arguably such timing would constitute "duress".
Oh yes, "everyone owes me...I'm entitled"! Yep, I know a couple of those. If not money, and unless the children are utterly greedy and/or worthless, jewelry and antiques should go to them, to be passed to the grandchildren. Sometimes by the time one dies, medical costs and courts have eaten up the entire bank balance.
Sure the kids should be treated well but some grubby kids believe the money is theirs. These same kids somehow believe it's okay to treat their parents poorly.
I'd have to look at CA law to see what's up. It was always my understanding that what you had before marriage stayed your property, but anything acquired during the marriage was community property.
A prenup is probably best when someone is into their second marriage. IIRC, back in the day, families drew up contracts before the wedding. Of course those were arranged marriages.
But it's ok to shaft husbands and fathers in family court, eh Rita?
How do you mean comingled? If you inherited Ming vases for example, and place them in the shared home, is that comingling? I thought for sure that inheritances received during the marriage were not thought of as community property.
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