Posted on 02/08/2006 4:02:23 AM PST by LouAvul
Any parent will tell you kids can be depressing at times. A new study shows that raising them is a lifelong challenge to your mental health.
Not only do parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults who do not have children, the problem gets worse when the kids move out.
"Parents have more to worry about than other people do—that's the bottom line," said Florida State University professor Robin Simon. "And that worry does not diminish over time. Parents worry about their kids' emotional, social, physical and economic well-being. We worry about how they're getting along in the world."
Simon knows from experience.
"I adore my kids," she said in a telephone interview. "I would do it over again. There are enormous emotional benefits. But I think [those benefits] get clouded by the emotional cost. We worry about our kids even when they're doing well."
The depressing results seem to be across the board in a study of 13,000 people. No type of parent reported less depression than non-parents, Simon said.
Some parents are more depressed than others, however. Parents of adult children, whether they live at home or not, and parents who do not have custody of their minor children have more symptoms of depression than those with young children all in the nest, regardless of whether they are biological children, step children or adopted.
Other research has shown there's a bright side to raising kids, too. One study of people with younger children found the parents have greater social networks and higher levels of self-confidence than non-parents.
"Young children in some ways are emotionally easier," Simon said. "Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems."
The research, announced today, was published in the American Sociological Association's Journal of Health and Social Behavior.
Simon also found that married parents are less depressed than the unmarried. But, surprisingly, the effects of parenthood on depression were the same for men and women.
Part of the problem, Simon figures, is that Americans don't get as much help at parenting as they once did, or as is the case in other countries.
"We do it in relative isolation. The onus is on us," she said. "It's emotionally draining."
The primary data was pulled from a study done in the late 1980s. But Simon checked the results against a repeated version of the study from the mid-90s and reached the same conclusions, and she said there is little reason to expect a new survey would yield much different results.
"People should really think about whether they want to do this or not," Simon said of parenting.
parenting ping
I ADORE my children and wouldn't change a thing. I worry about them constantly, though.
Huge mistake. Have kids while you are young enough to keep up and then you will be a young grandparent also. I'm a bit older (45) and my daughter is 5. When I remarry I will have more kids. So now I'm working hard to get in good enough shape to keep up. We should have started our family 15 years earlier. I wasted 15 years that I could have spent with my kids.
My friends who do this are chronically exhausted and depressed. They are two income families, both professionals, with two or more small children demanding their time and energy.
Of course they are exhausted. Raising kids is a full time position. One of the parents needs to quite their job and focus on their real career (parent) instead. They'll all be much better off
Depends how you define success. Living an empty life acquiring useless goods with no one to leave it all to and having no lasting effect on the world doesn't seem very successful to me. Kind of futile actually
Being a full time parent is the hardest but most rewarding job there is.
Christian mothers worry. it's in the genetics more so than the religious beliefs : ) I agree that knowing God and rendering your children unto Him is a tremendous advantage, but it doesn't entirely disconnect the wiring that mothers have in re; worrying.
excellent observation. Mom provides security, dad provides adventure. Both are required.
I'm 28 and still not married...but just because I haven't met the right girl yet!! Not for career reasons.
My son's mother-in-law was deeply depressed after our first grandchild was born, basically because they did notlive close to them. After several years of manipulation, tears, fights, my son agreed to move to the same city and state. The mother-in-law is STILL depressed. The grandchild syndrome is a whole new ballgame.
This is bullcrap. My husband and I have two children and they do not make us depressed. Now if you have those type of kids that run around on Nanny 911, I could see how you'd be depressed. We get compliments on our children's manners everywhere we go. My in-laws even comment on how our kids are compared to their kids. The key is discipline them. If you don't have them in check by the time they are 5, you never will. I have two cute, intelligent, well-behaved, creative, funny kids. If anything, they make us happy.
Speaking strictly for myself, it is much better now that the kids are finally out on their own. Plus, I now have more money!
Thank you! It drives me nuts how much people whine about how hard everything is these days. For crying out loud. They need to take a look at what life was like about 100 years ago. There's hard and then there is HARD.
Sheesh.Life is not just a picnic.
I know you adore your chilren tuffy and I am so glad they get to have a stay-at-home mom. Take care.
Another shocking conclusion ;^)
Oh, I saw your tagline and envisioned Michael Moore in a swimming pool..... now I can't remember why I was pinged here... my eyes are crusting over
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