Posted on 02/08/2006 4:02:23 AM PST by LouAvul
Any parent will tell you kids can be depressing at times. A new study shows that raising them is a lifelong challenge to your mental health.
Not only do parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults who do not have children, the problem gets worse when the kids move out.
"Parents have more to worry about than other people do—that's the bottom line," said Florida State University professor Robin Simon. "And that worry does not diminish over time. Parents worry about their kids' emotional, social, physical and economic well-being. We worry about how they're getting along in the world."
Simon knows from experience.
"I adore my kids," she said in a telephone interview. "I would do it over again. There are enormous emotional benefits. But I think [those benefits] get clouded by the emotional cost. We worry about our kids even when they're doing well."
The depressing results seem to be across the board in a study of 13,000 people. No type of parent reported less depression than non-parents, Simon said.
Some parents are more depressed than others, however. Parents of adult children, whether they live at home or not, and parents who do not have custody of their minor children have more symptoms of depression than those with young children all in the nest, regardless of whether they are biological children, step children or adopted.
Other research has shown there's a bright side to raising kids, too. One study of people with younger children found the parents have greater social networks and higher levels of self-confidence than non-parents.
"Young children in some ways are emotionally easier," Simon said. "Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems."
The research, announced today, was published in the American Sociological Association's Journal of Health and Social Behavior.
Simon also found that married parents are less depressed than the unmarried. But, surprisingly, the effects of parenthood on depression were the same for men and women.
Part of the problem, Simon figures, is that Americans don't get as much help at parenting as they once did, or as is the case in other countries.
"We do it in relative isolation. The onus is on us," she said. "It's emotionally draining."
The primary data was pulled from a study done in the late 1980s. But Simon checked the results against a repeated version of the study from the mid-90s and reached the same conclusions, and she said there is little reason to expect a new survey would yield much different results.
"People should really think about whether they want to do this or not," Simon said of parenting.
My friends who do this are chronically exhausted and depressed. They are two income families, both professionals, with two or more small children demanding their time and energy.
It's called 'life'...Now people whine about it...
fellow parent-worriers ping!
what i worry about are the parents who do NOT worry about their kids. something wrong with them!
The solution is clear: humans should stop reproducing. Abortion shouldn't be safe and legal--it should be quick and mandatory.
Other people's kids are far more depressing than my own. I don't know why, but it's true.
LOL!
That's harsh. I was simply going to advocate the Soylent Green method.
My kids are 21 and twins 19 and they really drive me crazy. If I had it to do over, I'm really not sure I would have kids. I sometimes find myself envying people without kids.
There, I feel much better after confession.
If only we had a village to raise our children for us.....
You beat me to the ping!!!!
It is worse with grandkids, you lose most of your input authority.
Nope, not good enough. Only the "No Child Policy" can eliminate depression.
Exactly!
My kids are grown, they really 'turned out' well. I have 7 grandkids. My kids are among my 'best' friends. Yes..I still worry about them. But they are the most satisfying segment of my life. I would love to go back and experience raising them again! I loved it!
Bold new study finds both ups, and downs, to having children.
If people didn't micro-manage their childrens lives they'd be a lot less stressed out. And stop signing them up for every sort of activity under the Sun. My SIL burned herself out from constantly being stressed out over her sons schedule.
How many people have their children on a schedule like this every day?
Traveling soccer team practice 7 - 8AM
School 8:30 - 2:30
Karate 2:45 - 3:30
More soccer 4 - 5
Piano 5:30 - 5:00
Spanish tutor 5:25 - 6:00
Choir practice 6:30 - 7:15
Lemme get M. Night Shaymalan on the phone.
xms - I might worry about my kids in a day-to-day TACTICAL sense, but I don't worry at all in a STRATEGIC sense. Whether they become PHDs or work in the drive-thru at McD's, they'll be just fine. Whether they marry "well" or marry psychos, they'll be just fine. No matter what life throws at them, or what stupid choices they make, God will be there to protect them, unless they reject Him outright.
My own life attests to this. Were I to tell you some of the stupid things I did in my youth, and tell you that your kids were going to do the same, you would probably get quite depressed. Yet here I am, financially well off, healthy, happily married for 20 years with two wonderful children. I shouldn't be here. This is what God does. And even if He didn't, my only real concern is Eternal; the rest is chump change. No, I do not worry.
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