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Kids are Depressing, Study of Parents Finds
yahoo ^ | 2-8-06

Posted on 02/08/2006 4:02:23 AM PST by LouAvul

Any parent will tell you kids can be depressing at times. A new study shows that raising them is a lifelong challenge to your mental health.

Not only do parents have significantly higher levels of depression than adults who do not have children, the problem gets worse when the kids move out.

"Parents have more to worry about than other people do—that's the bottom line," said Florida State University professor Robin Simon. "And that worry does not diminish over time. Parents worry about their kids' emotional, social, physical and economic well-being. We worry about how they're getting along in the world."

Simon knows from experience.

"I adore my kids," she said in a telephone interview. "I would do it over again. There are enormous emotional benefits. But I think [those benefits] get clouded by the emotional cost. We worry about our kids even when they're doing well."

The depressing results seem to be across the board in a study of 13,000 people. No type of parent reported less depression than non-parents, Simon said.

Some parents are more depressed than others, however. Parents of adult children, whether they live at home or not, and parents who do not have custody of their minor children have more symptoms of depression than those with young children all in the nest, regardless of whether they are biological children, step children or adopted.

Other research has shown there's a bright side to raising kids, too. One study of people with younger children found the parents have greater social networks and higher levels of self-confidence than non-parents.

"Young children in some ways are emotionally easier," Simon said. "Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems."

The research, announced today, was published in the American Sociological Association's Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

Simon also found that married parents are less depressed than the unmarried. But, surprisingly, the effects of parenthood on depression were the same for men and women.

Part of the problem, Simon figures, is that Americans don't get as much help at parenting as they once did, or as is the case in other countries.

"We do it in relative isolation. The onus is on us," she said. "It's emotionally draining."

The primary data was pulled from a study done in the late 1980s. But Simon checked the results against a repeated version of the study from the mid-90s and reached the same conclusions, and she said there is little reason to expect a new survey would yield much different results.

"People should really think about whether they want to do this or not," Simon said of parenting.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: narcissism; narcissismonparade; robinsimon
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To: dakine
"It's called 'life'...Now people whine about it..

LoL!

Liberals are always over analyzing themselves, trying to figure themselves out. Eventually their brains will implode. It seems they already are suffering from mass loss.

21 posted on 02/08/2006 4:23:57 AM PST by Nathan Zachary
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To: Shalom Israel
The solution is clear: humans should stop reproducing. Abortion shouldn't be safe and legal--it should be quick and mandatory.

Now combine it with the memory erasing drug we read about a few weeks back and we can achieve our perfect brave new world where there's no children and no trauma to cope with.
22 posted on 02/08/2006 4:24:09 AM PST by cripplecreek (Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
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To: LouAvul
Parents should start worrying about how their kids are going to pay massive social security rates on top of monstrously huge student loans.
23 posted on 02/08/2006 4:24:21 AM PST by rhombus
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To: PogySailor

Poor kid!


24 posted on 02/08/2006 4:26:21 AM PST by Nathan Zachary
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To: LouAvul
They are two income families, both professionals, with two or more small children demanding their time and energy.

Maybe if one of them stayed at home for a few years with the kids, life would get more relaxing. Their children deserve their time and energy!!

I mean, raising a child IS draining and tiring at times, but most of the time the happiness it brings me is greater.

25 posted on 02/08/2006 4:27:01 AM PST by shattered
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To: xsmommy
what i worry about are the parents who do NOT worry about their kids. something wrong with them!

You said it! The question isn't whether the children are good for the parents. The question is how good the parents are for the children. I'd like to see a study of how well the children of the "drained" parents succeed, compared to the children of parents who bear the burden lightly.

26 posted on 02/08/2006 4:28:15 AM PST by Physicist
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To: PogySailor

A schedule like that is close to child abuse.


27 posted on 02/08/2006 4:28:51 AM PST by freedumb2003 (American troops cannot be defeated. American Politicians can.)
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To: shattered

I'm 41 and nothing would make me happier than having a child. It helps that my wife is 10 years younger and makes good money. Since I'm disabled I would be here to care for a child.

It may not be the most traditional way of doing things but having one parent in the home all the time is the best way.


28 posted on 02/08/2006 4:30:52 AM PST by cripplecreek (Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
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To: LouAvul

Articles like this one seem to imply life - when lived properly - is without conflict.

Raising my son was indeed stressful..challenging..at times sorrowful. It was also exciting, fun and rewarding beyond expectation. Anything I really know about love I learned from being a mother.

All worthy endeavors have moments of doubt, fear and worry. The best tools I discovered to deal with being a mother are: A) A sense of humor and B) Prayer.


29 posted on 02/08/2006 4:33:02 AM PST by SE Mom (God Bless those who serve..)
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To: LouAvul

Anyone who is never stressed when raising kids isn't paying attention to what they're getting up to!

That said, I have a large family and for every moment of grief they've brought me they have repaid with a dozen times more pride and happiness.


30 posted on 02/08/2006 4:39:29 AM PST by Androcles (All your typos are belong to us)
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To: LouAvul
One thing I have not seen commented on here is the effect of the information age on parenting. My kids are bombarded non-stop with information input from TV, music, internet, sex ed in school, etc. During my formative years in the 70's, I went to school, came home and worked on the farm. My information sources were school w/ no sex education, my parents, grandparents and whatever my parents watched on the 3 TV channels we were able to receive.

My stress from raising my two teens comes primarily from the outside influences. I pray for MTV to burn in hell.
31 posted on 02/08/2006 4:40:20 AM PST by IamConservative (Who does not trust a man of principle? A man who has none.)
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To: cripplecreek

Yup--move over "Greatest Generation"! Here comes the "Perfect Generation". Of course, it'll also be the "Last Generation"...


32 posted on 02/08/2006 4:44:02 AM PST by Shalom Israel (Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.)
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To: IamConservative

Kids cause depression? How about stress? One bumper sticker I once saw said it all - "Avenge yourself! Live long enough to be a burden to your children!"


33 posted on 02/08/2006 4:44:15 AM PST by pineybill
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To: LouAvul
"The problem is getting worse, I think. Many people I see and know are waiting to become parents until they are middle aged."


An error of the first magnitude!





34 posted on 02/08/2006 4:46:03 AM PST by G.Mason (Duty, Honor, Country)
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To: dakine
"It's called 'life'..."

perfect.

35 posted on 02/08/2006 4:48:08 AM PST by Pietro
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To: PogySailor

My word, if your sister-in-law is burned out from this schedule, imagine how messed up your poor nephew is!


36 posted on 02/08/2006 4:48:35 AM PST by Capriole (The Anti-Feminist)
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To: cripplecreek
Clip and save that post. (#28)

As you are recovering from the nervous breakdown, caused by your inability to grasp the fact that one cannot be with a child 24/7, it may bring you laughter.





37 posted on 02/08/2006 4:51:03 AM PST by G.Mason (Duty, Honor, Country)
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To: PogySailor
Not too many, as the times won't allow it. ;)





38 posted on 02/08/2006 4:53:48 AM PST by G.Mason (Duty, Honor, Country)
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To: G.Mason

Don't mock me, my friend. It's a condition of "mental divergence". I find myself on another planet, Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though it's a totally convincing reality in every way...I can feel, breathe, hear...nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?


39 posted on 02/08/2006 4:54:05 AM PST by cripplecreek (Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
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To: Capriole

He's fine, that was about 6 years ago. That lasted about 6 months before she gave up. He didn't want to do any of it, other than he liked to play soccer with his friends. She finally realized that she was doing all that for her own selfish reasons. Mostly to impress her peer group of "soccer moms".


40 posted on 02/08/2006 4:54:33 AM PST by PogySailor (Semper Fi to the 3/1 H&S Company in Haditha.)
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