A Few of FR's Finest...Every Day....02-02-06...Kids Say The Darndest Things!

dutchess

[dutchess]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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Kids Say The Darndest Things!

Most grade school teachers agree that kids say the darndest things. Here are some examples:

The future of "I give" is "I take."

The parts of speech are lungs and air.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.

A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones.

The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter

Out of the mouth of babes! Have a GREAT Thursday...feel free to share special stories (AND pictures of the little ones in your life) ...and thanks for stopping in at the FINEST!

12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 01-30-06 Military Monday 01-31-06 Ladies & Gentlemen...the President of the United States 02-01-06 A Letter to My Pets

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' Every Thursday at the Finest The guy's good, folks!

[LadyX]

My personal favorite true story..:))

One afternoon on my shady deck in North Carolina, we had our little grandson, Kyle, then about 10 months old, by us in his playpen.
Big sister, Aubrey, just 3, came out holding one of her favorite toys -
a radio-like pretend tv screen that when wound up,
had characters moving across the screen.

It had "died," obviously after Kyle had bashed it against something.
With a most serious face, remembering he had come from the hospital, she said to us:

"Can we take him back?"
I think we got the wrong baby!!!"

Still brings gales of laughter, remembering her expression and quiet disappointment -
and her thoughtful solution..:)

[Majie Purple]

A prior Pastor of mine's son...7 years young, came up with this touching sentiment one which I share with others often because what he said took me by moved to joyful surprise.
We were just casually chatting. He already knew that my Fave animal is a rabbit. We started telling eachother some jokes. So when he asked me "Why did the rabbit cross the road?" I thought he'd come back with something simplistic and new & funny to a youngster but so old and not funny to an adult but I was ready to laugh out of love for the youngsters attempt at telling an old to me but new to him joke.
His sweet answer was:"To get to You!" I gasped and hugged and thanked him for saying that to/about me...Now,every opportunity I get since then I share with others this to/about him!

[Mama_Bear]

Thanks for the smiles and chuckles, dutchess. This thread gave me a lift today that I really needed.

Hugs to you, sistah. Have a wonderful day.

[JustAmy]

Dutches ....... Wow .... What a cute thread. Two days in a row .... kids and pets, what could be cuter?

I haven't been able to access Fotki this morning so I'll not post a picture. :(

A couple of weeks ago, PrissyMissy asked me "Why does Grampa have fur on his chest?"

Yesterday she told me she got "staged scared" at her dance lesson.

It is going to be another busy day here; I hope to get back sometime this afternoon.

[Diver Dave]

KEWL dutchess!

I got a compliment (I think) from grandson Logan a few weeks ago. It was one of those round-about compliments.

He was sitting here at the 'puter playing some games at Disney.com. After loading one, the instruction page came up. Unable to read, he holler out for mrsdd... "Nanny, read!"

Sitting nearby, I came over and began to read the text to him.

Hollering out again, he said, "Never mind, Nanny. Poppy knows how to read it."

[Billie]

Hi, Amy! Isn't this the cutest thread?! Prissy's "fur on his chest" comment about Mr.Amy is priceless!

Dutchess, I know you were counting on John's Two Cents, and in a pinch you have the Celebrate Life, or more of your cute animal pics and quotes we haven't seen to fall back on, but this one was a total surprise and totally cute!

Hope your morning with the *kids* was great!

[Billie]

Oh my gosh! This is so cute, Victoria! I like your chalkboard graphic, too! LOL

[Billie]

Hi, Temple! How's that cute little PeeWee doggie doing?

[Billie]

Hollering out again, he said, "Never mind, Nanny. Poppy knows how to read it."

LOL!

[Mama_Bear]

"Never mind, Nanny. Poppy knows how to read it."

Cute!

[Billie]

"To get to You!"

That is so sweet, Purple Mtn!

[Majie Purple]

Awww... thanks! That was my reaction to what he said too!
Have a sweet day!

[Mama_Bear]

Did someone say we can post photos of our grandkids??? I just happen to have some recent photos of them!

They are all the time saying the darndest things, but nothing comes to mind at the moment. Bet if I asked their parents, they could come up with some real doozies. LOL.

[MozartLover]

Nice tagline.:)

[MozartLover]

.....and beautiful grandkids, both of you.:)

[Mama_Bear]

I like yours too! Different variations of the same theme. :-)

[Mama_Bear]

.....and beautiful grandkids, both of you.:)

Thank you! They are the joy of my life.

[Mama_Bear]

More gems from kids....

Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Patrick, age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him
Heather, 16

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
Michael, 14

Stay away from prunes.
Randy, 9

Don't squat with your spurs on:
Noronha, 13

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to:
Emily, 10

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
Taylia, 11

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as  your school assignment. --
Traci, 14

Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers.
Mitchell, 12

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tictac
Andrew, 9

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
Kyoyo, 9

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Armir, 9

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Kellie, 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Naomi, 15

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Lauren, 9

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Joel, 10

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
Alyesha, 13

Never try to baptize a cat.
Eileen, 8

[Mama_Bear]

God bless your son and keep him safe. And please thank him for his service for me and tell him that he is my hero.

[dutchess]

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of the Ark. Noah built the Ark and the animals came on it pears

Very cute MamaB. Thanks for sharing!!!!