Twins' mom: 'He loved them, they loved him'

Twins' mom: 'He loved them, they loved him'TOMMY TOMLINSONttomlinson@charlotteobserver.comKim Crespi called Thursday morning. She wanted to talk. She spoke from California, where she was making arrangements to bury her twins today. Tessara and Samantha, 5 years old, were stabbed to death last Friday at their home in southeast Mecklenburg. David Crespi -- Kim's husband, the girls' father -- is charged with murder. Kim Crespi said she doesn't know why her husband would have killed the girls, or what could have triggered the attack. But she said she believes, based on what police told her after interviewing her husband, that he was prepared to kill her and the family's other three children: "He said his darkness was for all of us." On Tuesday, Kim Crespi spoke at the girls' funeral in Charlotte. She plans to do the same today in Sacramento, where the family used to live. She said she wants to assure people that God is helping her family; she wants to encourage people to seek help for mental illness; and she wants to tell people how great her daughters were. She said that's why she called Thursday. "It's my moment to talk about Tessie and Sam," she said. "Everybody's not going to care tomorrow. But today they do." She said everything was fine when she left their house last Friday. She got a last-minute hair appointment. Her husband, who had the day off, said he would watch the girls. The other kids were at school. The twins were eating mashed potatoes and gravy. That was at 12:05 p.m. When she returned at 1:20, police stopped her two blocks from the house. "I honestly thought that Dave had taken his own life," she said. He had never threatened any of the children, she said, and gave no warning that he was about to do anything drastic. "He was their father," she said. "He loved them, they loved him." She said she remembers only one time when he hinted at darker thoughts about his children. "He (once) said, when he got depressed, he said, `I am sad that this world is so dark sometimes, and they would be a part of it.' And I said, `You wouldn't ever do anything, would you?' And he said, `No, no.' " Kim Crespi said her husband was taking medications for depression. She said David Crespi's lawyer advised the family not to name the drugs. She said her husband has battled depression the entire time they've been married, more than 10 years. Kim Crespi said he took a months-long leave last year from Wachovia, where he worked as a senior vice president. She said her husband would be fine for long stretches -- "very up, very happy, very connected, funny, brilliant, connected, loving." But then something would trigger his depression. She said she could never figure out what. She said the family had a hard time finding mental-health services, both in California and after they moved to Charlotte. "We're getting the best help right now, and two little people have died," she said. "Now we know of all these people that are available to help us. But when we were really in the throes of it, I was opening the phone book, you know?" This week David Crespi was taken to Central Prison in Raleigh. Kim Crespi said she hasn't seen her husband since his arrest. "We care for Dave, we love him, but it's out of our hands," she said. "There will be a time to deal with Dave for all of us." Today, she has to deal with Tessa and Sam. She said the funeral in Charlotte was "so long," but the burial in California is "goodbye." "We're coming back to Charlotte on Monday and we're gonna start everything one minute at a time," she said. "That's where we're at. We're on the minute plan." She said she draws strength from the prayers from all over the country, from calls from her neighbors, from letters written by her kids' classmates. She said God is looking out for the family members who remain. And she said she wonders if she missed any signs. The week of the slayings, David Crespi read a Wall Street Journal story about a millionaire businessman who struggled with depression most of his life. The man committed suicide by jumping from the ninth floor of his Manhattan apartment building. Kim Crespi read the story, too. She said they talked about it, and she reminded her husband that he was not the same as the man in the story. She said he told her he understood. That Friday, Kim Crespi left the house to get her hair done. Half an hour later, David Crespi called 911.

Kim Crespi called Thursday morning.

She wanted to talk.

She spoke from California, where she was making arrangements to bury her twins today.

Tessara and Samantha, 5 years old, were stabbed to death last Friday at their home in southeast Mecklenburg. David Crespi -- Kim's husband, the girls' father -- is charged with murder.

Kim Crespi said she doesn't know why her husband would have killed the girls, or what could have triggered the attack.

But she said she believes, based on what police told her after interviewing her husband, that he was prepared to kill her and the family's other three children:

"He said his darkness was for all of us."

On Tuesday, Kim Crespi spoke at the girls' funeral in Charlotte. She plans to do the same today in Sacramento, where the family used to live.

She said she wants to assure people that God is helping her family; she wants to encourage people to seek help for mental illness; and she wants to tell people how great her daughters were.

She said that's why she called Thursday.

"It's my moment to talk about Tessie and Sam," she said. "Everybody's not going to care tomorrow. But today they do."

She said everything was fine when she left their house last Friday.

She got a last-minute hair appointment. Her husband, who had the day off, said he would watch the girls. The other kids were at school. The twins were eating mashed potatoes and gravy.

That was at 12:05 p.m.

When she returned at 1:20, police stopped her two blocks from the house.

"I honestly thought that Dave had taken his own life," she said.

He had never threatened any of the children, she said, and gave no warning that he was about to do anything drastic.

"He was their father," she said. "He loved them, they loved him."

She said she remembers only one time when he hinted at darker thoughts about his children.

"He (once) said, when he got depressed, he said, `I am sad that this world is so dark sometimes, and they would be a part of it.' And I said, `You wouldn't ever do anything, would you?' And he said, `No, no.' "

Kim Crespi said her husband was taking medications for depression. She said David Crespi's lawyer advised the family not to name the drugs.

She said her husband has battled depression the entire time they've been married, more than 10 years. Kim Crespi said he took a months-long leave last year from Wachovia, where he worked as a senior vice president.

She said her husband would be fine for long stretches -- "very up, very happy, very connected, funny, brilliant, connected, loving."

But then something would trigger his depression. She said she could never figure out what.

She said the family had a hard time finding mental-health services, both in California and after they moved to Charlotte.

"We're getting the best help right now, and two little people have died," she said. "Now we know of all these people that are available to help us. But when we were really in the throes of it, I was opening the phone book, you know?"

This week David Crespi was taken to Central Prison in Raleigh. Kim Crespi said she hasn't seen her husband since his arrest.

"We care for Dave, we love him, but it's out of our hands," she said. "There will be a time to deal with Dave for all of us."

Today, she has to deal with Tessa and Sam. She said the funeral in Charlotte was "so long," but the burial in California is "goodbye."

"We're coming back to Charlotte on Monday and we're gonna start everything one minute at a time," she said. "That's where we're at. We're on the minute plan."

She said she draws strength from the prayers from all over the country, from calls from her neighbors, from letters written by her kids' classmates.

She said God is looking out for the family members who remain.

And she said she wonders if she missed any signs.

The week of the slayings, David Crespi read a Wall Street Journal story about a millionaire businessman who struggled with depression most of his life.

The man committed suicide by jumping from the ninth floor of his Manhattan apartment building.

Kim Crespi read the story, too. She said they talked about it, and she reminded her husband that he was not the same as the man in the story.

She said he told her he understood.

That Friday, Kim Crespi left the house to get her hair done.

Half an hour later, David Crespi called 911.

How sad. Highlights how little we understand depression.

My best friend's eldest daughter and to a lesser extent her husband suffer from it. Her daughter developed anorexia in junior year of high school and now (in college) constantly battles it. Meds just keep it bubbling under the surface. Her husband goes into blue moods every few years, usually precipitated by major events such as his mother's death, being caught up in the closing of his place of employment, financial problems, etc. He will slip into a pattern of drinking too much and musing whether or not the family is better off without him. A few weeks of counseling and meds has always snapped him out of it. Neither has ever given any indication of being a threat to others.

I understand that is a physical illness, triggered by chemical imbalances. In father's case it is very sporadic, in daughter's case it is much more severe. Requires monitoring, but once children are over 18 parents can no longer dictate medical care.

I feel so bad for the mother in Charlotte. I believe, as in the Yates case, however heineous the act, they were not criminals, but sick people. Perhaps some day a better treatment will be available for these severe cases and these tortured souls will be able to forgive themselves and re-enter society in some form.

"She said David Crespi's lawyer advised the family not to name the drugs."

Well, the sharks are already circling. Figures. :(

My husband suffers from mild depression. It was a total rollercoaster ride to get him on the right meds, and to break him of his addiction to self-medicating with alcohol and whatever other drugs he could get his hands on. He also had two spinal surgeries in that timespan as well, so he was in rough shape all the way around. He could literally shut out the entire world and sleep (or pass out) for days on end. He was totally worthless to the world.

When I had reached my limit, I had him "escorted from our home" and gave him the ultimatum of getting clean and sober and staying on his depression meds or losing his son and I forever.

And he made the smart choice! Three years clean and sober, and he's a better version of the man I married ten years ago. Out-patient rehab, private counselling and the love of a good woman saved him. ;)

Sometimes these stories have a happy ending. While what this man did was horrific, it's going to be even worse for him when he truly realizes what he's done. I would imagine he'll kill himself in the future, if he ever gets his head on straight. He'll definately be in his own room of Hell from here on out.

Thanks for posting this, whichever way it's readable. I was going to bring it here, too. This mom is just incredible! She keeps going and going -- is lucid, articulate, talkative, assertive. It's amazing.

It must be prolonged shock. She's doing what she has to do to get her girls buried--then she's back to NC. Surely the letdown will come then. Man, what a tough time she's going to have, eventually.

I understand she's a CPA, but I don't know if she has a practice, as such, of her own. They had 200 people at the twins' christening! Obviously, these are very outgoing people who make a lot of friends.

Was the little news item also posted here that she has told the press now that her husband, David, was on medication for depression, but that her attorney has told her not to reveal the name of it?

It's in one of these two links.

http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/columnists/tommy_tomlinson/13723333.htm

http://www.news14charlotte.com/content/local_news/anson/?AC=&ArID=112016&SecID=4

There was also a guestbook link posted in one of the media articles, but I couldn't find it today. Some interesting reading, especially by a woman whose brother did the same thing to his children under similar circumstances--and she lives in the town in KS with David's brother.

Also noted is that a mother in Charlotte recently killed her own children and has been vilified and/or ignored, while David Crespi gets lots of ink for the sad state of *his* mental illness, with many making the drug excuse. I just don't know what to think, but still want to hear what the ME's report will say.

RIP, sweet girls, "forever 5."

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