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NBC cancels "Book of Daniel" -- Stay tuned for the premiere of "Jesus: The TV Show
Men's News Daily ^ | Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Posted on 01/24/2006 7:58:18 AM PST by presidio9

A television network tried to tackle religion once again, with the same old results.

NBC's controversial program, "The Book of Daniel", about an Episcopal priest named Daniel Webster who is a pill-popper with a drunken wife, drug dealing daughter, gay Republican son, and bisexual aunt, has been canceled.

You just can't make a show about "Any family USA" these days, can you? Once again, middle America gets a slap in the face.

Jesus was also a recurring character on the program. It's really too bad that the program was canceled before NBC could produce the obligatory "tonight, on a very special 'Book of Daniel'" episode where Jesus confesses his bulemia to his psychologist (Randolph Mantooth).

Goodbye to yet another shot at a fictional television program revolving around religion. Networks have tried it before, with hideous results. The more recent have included "Jesus: The Miniseries" and "Noah's Ark", which struck a factual iceberg and sank off the coast of Artistic License.

Why are so many of these movies and shows so wildly off-base and borderline insulting to any Christian?

When you consider how many of these shows come to be, it isn't surprising. This is why Mel Gibson avoided any big production companies when he made "The Passion of the Christ", but the money made by "The Passion" lures others, who should avoid it, into the genre.

At this very moment, a conversation is taking place somewhere near Hollywood. A large production company is putting together a film that we'll call "Jesus: The TV Show". The planning is going something like this:

A producer's phone rings and a speakerphone button is pushed.

"Mr. Hollywood here. Talk to me!"

"Hi, Mr. Hollywood. It's Joe Screenwriter. We've finally started production on the 'Jesus' show, and I thought you'd want to hear the finished script Rubenstein and I came up with."

"Sure. Who do we have playing Jesus, anyway?" Mr. Hollywood asks.

Papers flip, then Screenwriter says, "Matthew Perry has agreed to do it."

"Dennehy," Mr. Hollywood wonders. "What happened to the Brian Dennehy deal?"

"Well, everything was fine until Mr. Dennehy put on the sackcloth robe for run-throughs. I don't know much, but I do know that Jesus shouldn't have plumber's crack."

There is a long pause as Mr. Hollywood thinks. Joe Screenwriter can hear a pencil tapping on a pad of paper. "OK, Perry's fine. Why don't you let me hear the outline of the script you're working from ... and the Cliff's Notes version. I've got to go bail out Winona Ryder again. Good Lord, how many Saks blouses does one woman need?"

"Not sure, sir," says Screenwriter as he picks up his rough draft for "Jesus: The TV Show," flips in a few pages and begins the outline.

"In the first scene, Jesus is born, but He's not the person everyone thinks. He's actually the son of Hebrew slaves. His mother, Jochebed, played by Shelley Long, is ..."

"Wait," Mr. Hollywood interjects. "Are you getting your stories mixed up? Wasn't the mother of Jesus named Mary?"

"No, I think that was Job's mother."

"Oh."

"Anyway," Screenwriter continues, "after Shelley gives birth to Jesus, she puts the kid in a basket and sends Him down the river." Screenwriter flips a page. "At this point we're having a little subplot involving a love affair between two characters named Matthew and Sheena. Matthew is a stone carver and Sheena is his lover who, while Matthew's away carving stones, decides to explore her own homoerotic fantasies with her neighbor. Ann Heche is playing the part of the neighbor."

"I hear Heche is a complete nut job." Mr. Hollywood points out. "Can we work with her?"

"I'll put it this way," Says Screenwriter, "We could have spent $4 million to get Heather Graham, but Heche would take the part as long as we agreed to give her $50 in euro coins, a gumball machine and have a priest from the Raelian cult grant her eternal youth."

"I'll take a bargain over stability any day," points out Mr. Hollywood, as he sits back in his chair and takes another puff on a cigar. "Go on, Screenwriter."

"To make a long story short, the polar ice caps melt due to global warming, which was induced by severe ozone depletion caused by Bethlehem's Republican mayor having months earlier lifted the town's long-time ban on leaf burning. The melting ice caps flood the planet, and this prompts a guy named Jack to build an ark."

"Jack's Ark?" Mr. Hollywood questions sarcastically.

"The name 'Noah' tested horribly in focus group," Screenwriter quickly explains.

"Gotcha," Mr. Hollywood shoots back.

"So," Screenwriter continues, "the boat gets built, and Jack, the two lesbians and a bunch of animals float around for a while, get their shirts wet a lot, and make shallow and mindless social commentary in a cheap attempt to forward a liberal Hollywood political agenda."

"When does Jesus come back into play here?" asks Mr. Hollywood.

"Down the line a bit, when the people on the Ark discover Him still floating in the basket and pull Him on board. Also, in sticking to the literal interpretations of the Bible, we've got Jesus feeding five loafers with two fishes, inheriting the earth from the meek and stuff like that."

"I love it!" opines Mr. Hollywood. "It's absolutely brilliant! OK, hit me with the ending."

At that moment, a janitor, who had been outside the door listening, angrily barges in and puts forth a plea: "Have Jesus sentenced to death by Pontius Pilate and led to a cross to be crucified. The last scene should be of Jesus being resurrected three days after His death and ascending to heaven to act as Savior for all mankind."

"Buddy," says Mr. Hollywood, motioning toward the door, "in this business, we deal with facts. You do your job, we'll do ours."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: antichristianagenda; bookofdaniel; homosexualagenda; nbc; thebookofdaniel; wentdowninflames; yawnmorenbccrap
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1 posted on 01/24/2006 7:58:20 AM PST by presidio9
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To: presidio9

another one bites the dust.



and I wouldnt put it past someone in Hollywood to actually try "the Jesus show" as a real endeavour


2 posted on 01/24/2006 8:01:17 AM PST by wallcrawlr (http://www.bionicear.com)
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To: presidio9

All I have to say is:

"Mwahhahahahhaah"


3 posted on 01/24/2006 8:02:16 AM PST by Kidan (Tolerance is the virtue of a man without convictions - G.K. Chesterton)
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To: presidio9
Why are so many of these movies and shows so wildly off-base and borderline insulting to any Christian?

It's intended that way.

4 posted on 01/24/2006 8:03:14 AM PST by SmithL (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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To: presidio9

BTTT


5 posted on 01/24/2006 8:03:42 AM PST by Fiddlstix (Tagline Repair Service. Let us fix those broken Taglines. Inquire within(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: presidio9

How stupid of our local NBC affiliate to carry this after I asked them not too. Now myself and many others will have this bad feeling about them for a long time to come.


6 posted on 01/24/2006 8:04:03 AM PST by westmichman (Please pray with me for global warming)
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To: presidio9
West Wing - gone
Book of Daniel - gone
Will & Grace - gone
7 posted on 01/24/2006 8:04:40 AM PST by JohnnyZ (Happy New Year! Breed like dogs!)
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To: presidio9

Good riddance to a shameful ripoff name of one of our greatest orators from the Antebellum period.


8 posted on 01/24/2006 8:04:54 AM PST by shekkian
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To: presidio9

I purposefully watched the View last week to see if Star Jones had any reaction to her comments about terrorism getting heavy publicity.

They avoided that topic. lol

Instead they had on Aiden Quinn, star of "Daniel". The ladies fawned all over him and his show. They could not understand the public's bad reaction to it. So Quinn comes out with the ladies to promote his show and he first endearing words out of his mouth were "Grow Up America".

I turned off the show at that point. What a way to build an audience.


9 posted on 01/24/2006 8:08:10 AM PST by Republican Red (We will stay steadfast, we will not falter, we will never murtha)
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To: presidio9

These shows are inherently doomed because they contradict the ultimate Truth, and frankly, there's enough grace floating around for people to recognize these heretical steaming piles for what they are.

I'm just curious which bozo at NBC decided that an ex-Catholic practicing homosexual had something important to say about Christianity. These are the people that end up as career Darwin Award winners.


10 posted on 01/24/2006 8:09:05 AM PST by Rutles4Ever
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To: presidio9

Wow! What did it last, three weeks? Awesome!


11 posted on 01/24/2006 8:12:23 AM PST by Rummyfan
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To: DirtyHarryY2K; wagglebee; DBeers; MillerCreek

ping


12 posted on 01/24/2006 8:15:22 AM PST by presidio9 (Mister Trouble never comes around when he hears this Mighty sound)
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To: presidio9

"You just can't make a show about "Any family USA" these days, can you? Once again, middle America gets a slap in the face. "

Bring back All in the Family and keep it in its Politically incorrect format. I guarantee it will be the top show on TV.


13 posted on 01/24/2006 8:18:38 AM PST by EQAndyBuzz ("We don't need POLITICIANS...we need STATESMEN.")
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To: tutstar; caryatid; TexGuy; CindyDawg; Full Court; 2Jedismom; JamesP81; ...

PTL Baptist Ping


14 posted on 01/24/2006 8:19:43 AM PST by WKB (If you can't dazzle them with brilliance.. then Baffle them with BS)
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To: JohnnyZ

UHMM...I really wouldn't put Will & Grace and West Wing into the same category. They were WILDLY successful shows. They just ran their natural course.


15 posted on 01/24/2006 8:21:29 AM PST by Hildy (The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth)
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To: presidio9
Goodbye to yet another shot at a fictional television program revolving around religion. Networks have tried it before, with hideous results. The more recent have included "Jesus: The Miniseries" and "Noah's Ark", which struck a factual iceberg and sank off the coast of Artistic License.

Yet "Little House on the Prairie" and "The Waltons" continue to run in syndication.

16 posted on 01/24/2006 8:22:07 AM PST by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: JohnnyZ

West Wing - gone
Book of Daniel - gone
Will & Grace - gone

-------

Sadly,
7th Heaven - gone
Three Wishes - gone


17 posted on 01/24/2006 8:24:51 AM PST by Minnesocold (Truth itself is the one enemy against which liberalism cannot prevail. -Christopher Adamo)
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To: Republican Red

>>Quinn comes out with the ladies to promote his show and he first endearing words out of his mouth were "Grow Up America". <<
America's reply: "F*ck off, Aiden."


18 posted on 01/24/2006 8:25:14 AM PST by travlnmn41
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To: JohnnyZ

"Will & Grace - gone"

Promise? I had not heard that but I sure hope you are right. That program is beyond offensive.


19 posted on 01/24/2006 8:25:58 AM PST by warsaw44
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To: presidio9
So much for the "controversy is good publicity" theory.
20 posted on 01/24/2006 8:27:20 AM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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