Women are sexual creatures too, last I checked.
Posted on 01/14/2006 12:02:09 PM PST by wagglebee
WHEN A MILITARY chaplain appeared on ABC News last week talking about how pornography is becoming a problem for troops overseas, I listened. When the chaplain said real women at home couldn’t measure up to the impossible pictures, I thought of this woman I had seen years ago in a bookstore on base in Japan.
I shouldn’t remember her. The woman was not one of those people you even notice, much less remember. She had no distinct hair color, no charm of face. She reminded me of wide egg noodles and cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice.
But I noticed her when her sailor husband handed her a stack of magazines maybe 5 inches thick. Penthouse. Playboy. Hustler. Worse. He must have picked up every single porn mag the bookstore offered.
While I watched and the people behind me watched, the wife took the stack from him. She held it in hands that had probably stroked his face, patted his back, clutched his thighs. She handed the stack to a clerk. Then, in front of a line of 10 people, with her husband waiting impatiently by the door, she slowly signed her name to the bottom of her personal check. She did it as if pornography were something you brought home weekly, like milk or eggs or Minute Rice.
Until that moment, I’d always thought pornography was no big deal, a boys-will-be-boys kind of thing. Seeing her in person shook me – her pasty face, her quiet resignation.
So I paid attention to the news segment. It talked about these 11,000 sexual purity kits that are going to military members in Iraq. Following the popular “Every Man’s Battle” series from New Life Ministries, the kits promote Bible-based abstinence: no pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex or masturbation.
I heard that and kind of winced. It seemed too old fashioned a solution for a time when pornography is as available as a paper-wrapped burger. It made me think of some of those goofy venereal disease movies from World War II.
It also made me think of two couples I know who have divorced over pornography addiction, and the stories I read every week about how it’s becoming more of a problem for every age group.
But a religious text? I just didn’t know. I picked up a copy of one of the books at a Christian bookstore. At first I was uncomfortable reading it. I’m Christian. I practice my faith, but this book was written by men who are far more zealous in their faith than I am in mine.
The authors write about sexual purity and a man’s relationship to God. Their recommendations seem a little extreme – suggesting that men avoid not only pornography but also magazine advertisements and movies with a rating over PG-13.
The more I read, the more I understood why the chaplains had ordered the book. The second half of the book is about protecting the marriage. It talks about how to handle yourself if you become attracted to someone else. It offers a behavior strategy should someone become attracted to you.
The authors don’t say if; they say when. They don’t write as though men are idiots or slaves of passion. They remind their male readers to honor and cherish the women they married, to remember what their wives gave up to be married to them.
I am a little leery when it comes to imposing a specific faith’s teachings on military men. Still, I can’t stop thinking about that woman in the bookstore. I can’t stop thinking about her husband. This sexual purity kit is a tool that chaplains are turning to to help families like that one. It isn’t the only tool against pornography, but it certainly may be the most powerful one yet.
Here's the link to the counseling group that runs the "New Life" program:
http://www.newlife.com/
I used to occassionally listen to their show on KKLA 99.5FM in Los Angeles.
They covered lots of lifestyle problems: pornography, drugs, alcohol, obesity, etc.
IIRC, they are based out of Dallas, and do seminars around the country.
I'm not sure I understand your question. This is a role my husband took on when we had children. He is a very strong man, a man of God and was an outstanding Marine before he was injured and retired. No one is trying to emasculate men, it is about a relationship between a husband and a wife, with no one else involved. If either the husband or wife is looking a pornography, they are bringing someone else into the marriage. It goes both ways. The authors of the books also wrote books for women. Pornography can be addictive.
How? By sharing some favorites from your own collection?
Women are sexual creatures too, last I checked.
What an ignorant and narrow-minded conclusion to leap to.
Control..many want complete control. I WAS in a marriage like that and it was hell. No matter what I did, it was wrong!
This is probably one of the stupidest moral relative arguments I have read all day! DU would enjoy such profound logic.
Actually, women do.
My next door neighbor's wife had a porn addiction. It led to multiple affairs with men she met over the internet.
Her husband didn't have a clue.
Most men don't realize it can be a problem for women too.
Take your pick...
Avenging getting "wronged" by a major boyfriend from the "old days," OR getting back at "Daddy," OR a latent case of lesbianism.
See thread further down the page.
ROTTERDAM - The twelve youths who are blamed for a number of gang rapes since 2004, have had no sexual education. They themselves admitted that they had learned their sexual knowledge of man woman relationships mostly from porno films.
I didn't see condemnation in the text of this article. I saw an exaltation to keep our commitments. What an important reminder of the struggle we all face to do better in our lives.
Do you have the link for this?
Actually, most porn women now are gross. They don't even look human. And the pics are vulgar, not sexy. Even in Playboy.
http://dutchnewz.net/index.php.
It's also posted a little further down on the forum.
As the pregnancies progressed, and things became complicated (I was prone to premature abruption), romantic get togethers had to be shelved. So here I was, with all these hormones rampaging through my system, and incapable of pursuing the ususal means to alleviate their effects; so I wiped the dust off the few porn videos my husband had from his bachelor days.
Now that the pregancies have passed and my hormone levels are back to normal, the videos are back in their lonely spot, tucked behind layers of other videos. Still, it gave me a bit of insight into the needs of men, and how they can be vastly different from women, and I'm more attuned to my husband because of it.
It didn't cause any problems in this marriage, but I know of marriages where it did. My girlfriend's husband was addicted to porn, would watch it all the time, and wanted her to do all the different things that the porn stars were doing (and pushing for surgery to enhance her looks, too). It made her feel undesireable and unloved in her own marriage; it wasn't until she asked for a divorce did he snap out of it and get some counseling. Thankfully, they were able to get past it and are still married today.
Very well said.
Hear, hear....that's why I quit reading them! It gave me unrealistic expectations. We celebrate 27 years this month!
bookmark for later.
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