Posted on 01/14/2006 12:02:09 PM PST by wagglebee
WHEN A MILITARY chaplain appeared on ABC News last week talking about how pornography is becoming a problem for troops overseas, I listened. When the chaplain said real women at home couldn’t measure up to the impossible pictures, I thought of this woman I had seen years ago in a bookstore on base in Japan.
I shouldn’t remember her. The woman was not one of those people you even notice, much less remember. She had no distinct hair color, no charm of face. She reminded me of wide egg noodles and cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice.
But I noticed her when her sailor husband handed her a stack of magazines maybe 5 inches thick. Penthouse. Playboy. Hustler. Worse. He must have picked up every single porn mag the bookstore offered.
While I watched and the people behind me watched, the wife took the stack from him. She held it in hands that had probably stroked his face, patted his back, clutched his thighs. She handed the stack to a clerk. Then, in front of a line of 10 people, with her husband waiting impatiently by the door, she slowly signed her name to the bottom of her personal check. She did it as if pornography were something you brought home weekly, like milk or eggs or Minute Rice.
Until that moment, I’d always thought pornography was no big deal, a boys-will-be-boys kind of thing. Seeing her in person shook me – her pasty face, her quiet resignation.
So I paid attention to the news segment. It talked about these 11,000 sexual purity kits that are going to military members in Iraq. Following the popular “Every Man’s Battle” series from New Life Ministries, the kits promote Bible-based abstinence: no pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex or masturbation.
I heard that and kind of winced. It seemed too old fashioned a solution for a time when pornography is as available as a paper-wrapped burger. It made me think of some of those goofy venereal disease movies from World War II.
It also made me think of two couples I know who have divorced over pornography addiction, and the stories I read every week about how it’s becoming more of a problem for every age group.
But a religious text? I just didn’t know. I picked up a copy of one of the books at a Christian bookstore. At first I was uncomfortable reading it. I’m Christian. I practice my faith, but this book was written by men who are far more zealous in their faith than I am in mine.
The authors write about sexual purity and a man’s relationship to God. Their recommendations seem a little extreme – suggesting that men avoid not only pornography but also magazine advertisements and movies with a rating over PG-13.
The more I read, the more I understood why the chaplains had ordered the book. The second half of the book is about protecting the marriage. It talks about how to handle yourself if you become attracted to someone else. It offers a behavior strategy should someone become attracted to you.
The authors don’t say if; they say when. They don’t write as though men are idiots or slaves of passion. They remind their male readers to honor and cherish the women they married, to remember what their wives gave up to be married to them.
I am a little leery when it comes to imposing a specific faith’s teachings on military men. Still, I can’t stop thinking about that woman in the bookstore. I can’t stop thinking about her husband. This sexual purity kit is a tool that chaplains are turning to to help families like that one. It isn’t the only tool against pornography, but it certainly may be the most powerful one yet.
Therefore, when virtual reality becomes cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
This was also written about Navy families who often have to undergo separations of six months, which does make a difference.
I agree. If a person is away from his/her spouse, what to do? Bite fingernails and read obituaries?
Yet another stupid "expose" by ABC News trying to weaken and water down the military some more.
Hear! Hear! and Amen!
OK, I'm am going to be burned for this...but I think women overreact to their men watching porn. Unless it's of an obsessive nature, I see nothing wrong with it. And there's alot of women who agree with me. The more women screech with horror about it, the more men want to view it. Why don't women get it. Men are sexual creatures. Unless they want to satisfy their men every single time the men want it, then they should shut up and give their man a little freedom, for God's sake. Flame away...I'm ready to rumble.
LOL!
I've read the book. I've got three boys and we are at that stage of life. There is a whole series of books "Every young man's battle", "Every man's battle", how to raise and prepare a young man, etc. I learned a lot from these books, as did my husband. He is currently doing the study with my oldest. It does make a difference.
Why do women want to emasculate men so much? Can you answer me that?
Thanks for the Post. As I expected there are a few follow-up post with opposing “porn is no big deal” opinions, but take it from someone who has "been there done that", porn can grow into a big problem in marriages, for destroying a guys self esteem, and for costing a person thousands of dollars over time which it did me. With God's help I think I have finally escaped its clutches, and it wasn’t easy with on the onset of the World Wide Web where it’s easy access to about anything.
Just in case anyone was wondering, the breakup was totally amicable and had nothing to do with porn.
Sounds like Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka.
You're insane...what a vicious and stupid thing to say. You sound a bit repressed...maybe you should do something about that.
BTW, do you have a 900 number? (just kidding)
Well, the happy ones do.
We hide the bodies better. </sarcasm>
Well, gee, Hildy. I am not going to flame you. I think porn is disgusting and a married man shouldn't need it. I mean, um, you get my drift.
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