One of my favorites, Carmen Luvana... 
Posted on 01/14/2006 12:02:09 PM PST by wagglebee
WHEN A MILITARY chaplain appeared on ABC News last week talking about how pornography is becoming a problem for troops overseas, I listened. When the chaplain said real women at home couldn’t measure up to the impossible pictures, I thought of this woman I had seen years ago in a bookstore on base in Japan.
I shouldn’t remember her. The woman was not one of those people you even notice, much less remember. She had no distinct hair color, no charm of face. She reminded me of wide egg noodles and cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice.
But I noticed her when her sailor husband handed her a stack of magazines maybe 5 inches thick. Penthouse. Playboy. Hustler. Worse. He must have picked up every single porn mag the bookstore offered.
While I watched and the people behind me watched, the wife took the stack from him. She held it in hands that had probably stroked his face, patted his back, clutched his thighs. She handed the stack to a clerk. Then, in front of a line of 10 people, with her husband waiting impatiently by the door, she slowly signed her name to the bottom of her personal check. She did it as if pornography were something you brought home weekly, like milk or eggs or Minute Rice.
Until that moment, I’d always thought pornography was no big deal, a boys-will-be-boys kind of thing. Seeing her in person shook me – her pasty face, her quiet resignation.
So I paid attention to the news segment. It talked about these 11,000 sexual purity kits that are going to military members in Iraq. Following the popular “Every Man’s Battle” series from New Life Ministries, the kits promote Bible-based abstinence: no pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex or masturbation.
I heard that and kind of winced. It seemed too old fashioned a solution for a time when pornography is as available as a paper-wrapped burger. It made me think of some of those goofy venereal disease movies from World War II.
It also made me think of two couples I know who have divorced over pornography addiction, and the stories I read every week about how it’s becoming more of a problem for every age group.
But a religious text? I just didn’t know. I picked up a copy of one of the books at a Christian bookstore. At first I was uncomfortable reading it. I’m Christian. I practice my faith, but this book was written by men who are far more zealous in their faith than I am in mine.
The authors write about sexual purity and a man’s relationship to God. Their recommendations seem a little extreme – suggesting that men avoid not only pornography but also magazine advertisements and movies with a rating over PG-13.
The more I read, the more I understood why the chaplains had ordered the book. The second half of the book is about protecting the marriage. It talks about how to handle yourself if you become attracted to someone else. It offers a behavior strategy should someone become attracted to you.
The authors don’t say if; they say when. They don’t write as though men are idiots or slaves of passion. They remind their male readers to honor and cherish the women they married, to remember what their wives gave up to be married to them.
I am a little leery when it comes to imposing a specific faith’s teachings on military men. Still, I can’t stop thinking about that woman in the bookstore. I can’t stop thinking about her husband. This sexual purity kit is a tool that chaplains are turning to to help families like that one. It isn’t the only tool against pornography, but it certainly may be the most powerful one yet.
I doubt that it's very frequent, but I've known some woman who had porn collections (or said they did -- I never got a look at others' than my wife) and dated a few, before I married one.
By sitting down? What's to hide?
But I think we only hear half the story and half of the solutions.
Much like "Promise Keepers", New Life Ministries focuses too much on only the man and what he needs to do to protect a marriage.
I'm of the opinion that the problem is not porn as much as it is lust. A wife leaving Victoria's Secret catalogs and Cosmo lying around provides just as much temptation to lust after other women as me looking for porn on a PC. (And in my opinion, a VS model in a sexy garter and stockings is far more exciting than a skank in a porn flick)
My point: marriages are a partnership. A problem with one is a problem for both.
The Navy certainly does (and for good reason --especially when the ship is in port). You can go to the mess decks and pick up free condoms in cool camo wrappers!
*spit-take* "Hey, baby, did you just sit in a puddle of water, or are you just happy to see me?"
No, seriously: most women are socialized to not appear too eager. Make the guys work for it, y'know.
BTW I've enjoyed all your comments on this thread, (including your Speilberg tag!), and I do agree with your answer in general, I don't know where you do put the issue of a married women (with a few kids) having to compete for attention with women who's job is to look enticing and perfect.
Yeah, other women have always been around, it's just with the internet in homes, it's so prevalent.
There was some post a few weeks ago that linked to a site called 'fireyourwife' .com or something along those lines, all about how women from Europe and South America etc take CARE of themselves and are in general much better than the spoiled American women who thinks her husband has to put up with her totally letting herself go.
You sound like you're speaking from hard learned lessons.
Best,
Sarah
Porn women are pretty hard looking these days, but I think there is more to it than that. Information about how the porn industry operates, and what kind of lives the actors and actresses (sort of speak, c'mon)lead is getting out there. It's a hard, mean little trade, and once you know its ins and outs, you feel a lot of compassion for the people in it. I do anyway. Your milage may vary.
Is the camo so no one ever sees them coming?
In the Navy a good smut magazine is worth its weight in gold since most ships have a "wink, wink" policy against possession of porn. Constitutes sexual harassment towards the females on board, dontcha know!
Guys are even open about it as in, "Leave me alone for a few minutes. I'm gonna go to my rack and rub one out!"
At the end of my last 6 month deployment the entire aircraft carrier underwent an inspection for contraband prior to returning home. Everyone was given the opportunity to "dispose" of any items they shouldn't have. The heads (restrooms) were filled with large paper bags full of contraband porn magazine with one lone sailor standing there ripping each page into tiny pieces to prevent shipmates from returning later and reclaiming their stash. True story, I swear!
I heard Sean Hannity interview a Navy chaplain recently who is on a hunger strike to protest his superior's orders not to mention Jesus' name when he prays with the men on his ship. The US military has gone way too far in trying not to offend the muslims and atheists. The muslims have their own chaplains, and the few atheists don't want to hear anything from any chaplain. So why is it a crime for a Christian chaplain to pray in Jesus' name before an assembly of Christian service men and women? Political correctness is driving the US insane.
BTW, Bush could stop this nonsense with a memo to the service chiefs. He knows about it, why is our professing Christian president refusing to do anything to correct the situation? I'm normally a Bush fan, but when I heard that he won't stand up for his Christian chaplains after being told about this outrage I felt almost sick to my stomach.
No...masturbation.
My personal opinion is the difference in men and women sex drives is that the man hungers while the woman desires.
For example say there is a chocolate cake, the one with hunger will want that cake no matter what while the one without hunger may or may not want the cake. She may think to herself "I haven't had cake in a while and while not hungry I would like to enjoy the taste again". Men spend much time trying to make the woman desire the cake or at least try a bite.
I recall seeing a survey that 94% of women think sex does not need to be an important part of a relationship.
For every millionaire Jenna Jameson in the business there are hundreds of nameless young women who were quickly chewed up and spit out by the industry without a dime to show for it and yet there are hundreds more young women lined up around the block to take their places. I've heard that finding reasonably attractive actresses to star in amateur porn films for little money is as simple as running an ad in the paper.
What is this "porn" I keep hearing about? Can I find examples on the internet?
Chuckle and snort!
One of my favorites, Carmen Luvana...
Well, there's the problem. Rather than leave the catalogue lying around, the wife should be buying the stuff in the catalogue. Four out of five husbands surveyed prefer the real thing to the picture.
I'm 52 and still single, and anytime I post anti-porn messages here, I get flamed as though I should understand that it's no big deal.
In fact, porn drives fantasy and lust.
It does nothing to enrich a relationship.
The real crime is how large a percentage of our youth think that particpating in the creation of porn is such a lark.
Speak for your own relationships. Not mine.
I wonder how many of these libertarian types agreed with the assertion eight years ago that Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky was a "private" matter.
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