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I need advice dealing with my son's school...
Posted on 01/12/2006 5:29:53 PM PST by Phil Southern
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To: Phil Southern
If your state employs union bus drivers, there is absolutely nothing you can do that will correct this situation within the normal complaints channels.
There will be no corrective counseling and/or action taken against the driver.
The situation will not improve, and will escalate in a negative way against your child, whether or not your child is at fault.
Even if several other parents have similar complaints against the driver, do not expect them to take any action at all.
They will not.
Transport your child yourself.
If you want, continue to press the issue with the taxpayer funded, supposedly professional adults, in the transportation management department, and at the school, while your child is "safely" away from direct physical repercussions, but know the driver, and the administrators at the elementary school will encourage your child's peers to torment him for your actions.
Resolve the entire issue by secretly contacting a legally ambiguous communications with a third party mediator.
Or you can just shut up and take it.
41
posted on
01/12/2006 6:07:40 PM PST
by
sarasmom
To: Phil Southern
On the second day the driver in question approached my son's aide to say that my son could not ride the bus because he yelled, and would not stay seated.I agree with the posters who say that if the other children are seeking help, the situation is not good at all.
I do question why last year on the 2nd day you requested a different bus driver rather than instructing your son to stay in his seat and remain quiet while on the bus.
42
posted on
01/12/2006 6:10:31 PM PST
by
Amelia
(Education exists to overcome ignorance, not validate it.)
To: Phil Southern
My first instinct is that my son can be intimidating, but is a good traveler and respects authority. I told myself last year that a bus driver should not driving a bus full of kids if they couldn't deal with kids.Never ask for advice unless you want it. If your son is loud and intimidating, you should find alternate transportation rather than complain that your child should receive a "special" bus driver. You are basically blaming the bus driver for your child's behavior. There is no reason your son can't be quiet on a bus. One loud kid tends to start a tsunami of loud kids.
43
posted on
01/12/2006 6:12:32 PM PST
by
AppyPappy
(If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
To: Bloody Sam Roberts
I am with you on this one. Don't take no for an answer.
I drove my kids to and from school every day until my oldest daughter was old enough to drive and take herself to high school. Her first day of school the bus driver left her off at the wrong gate at the elementary school and she was lost just walking around. After that I took my three kids to school and picked them up.
In Yucaipa one time a bus driver got mad, quit in the middle of the route, told the kids to all get off the bus and took it back to the bus garage, got in the car, and left. My best friend's daughter was on that bus and it took the school over an hour to find the kids after they didn't come home.
Call me an overprotective Mom but I didn't trust my kids to bus drivers. I was fortunate that I was able to accompany my kids on field trips and drive them to and from school. Had a bus driver one time on a field trip that didn't know how to drive a manual shift and one of the band kid's had to help the guy shift -- was sure I wasn't going to make it home alive as the guy kept killing the engine at stop lights.
44
posted on
01/12/2006 6:13:07 PM PST
by
PhiKapMom
(Throw out OK's Governor DoLittle in 2006!)
To: Phil Southern
Don't bother the school, call the Bus Barn (whole different Govt Hierarchy) report the Driver.
Next if the Driver is Male, call his Wife make small talk and mention the problem in general (don't complain), if it happens again then call the guys Wife and complain.
If the Driver is Female the Bus Barn is your only hope and if she is disadvantaged (forced to work to get assistance) your screwed.
Short story... we had a little flash flood (it happens) the regular corner where all the kids get picked up was 2 ft under water, so the kids moved down the block where they could stand on high ground, it was misty and windy so I had my kids in the truck with me and we waited in a nearby parking lot, I witnessed this ahole bus driver blast right by 8 kids that had moved to higher ground, just 30 ft past the corner he normally picks them up at, with my blood pressure peaking I told the kids that the Bus will be right back and I proceeded to chase the Bus down, this clown was trying to outrun me! I finally pulled in front of him sideways in almost 3' of water, waded to his dumb ass and as I was telling him he knew why I stopped him and he knew why I was about to haul his ignorant POS ass out of the bus, the fairer sex (my Wife) grabbed my belt and tossed me out of the Bus, informed the driver that he had missed many children that were still waiting and that she would hold off calling the Bus Barn for 30 minutes if he would go back and pick them up, got his name, his Wife's name and his home phone number, (I still wanted to pound and drown him), she said she had a better way. The (idiot) driver went back and picked up all of the children that were waiting and finished his route, the Supervisor met him at the Bus Barn, but better yet, my Wife called his Wife introduced herself, briefed her and "that" driver has been polite and responsive ever since.
(Low pay is no excuse, they work for you, if they don't like the pay or the job they need to go away), the clown I described was Retired Airforce and a rules are rules kind of guy, his newly pregnant Wife introduced him to the same Common Sense that the 6 year old children that he neglected to pick up already had (standing on high ground).
I Love my Wife, (she kept me from being as stupid and reactive as that stupid Bus driver) but she was very effective and just between you and me, her method worked better than mine would have.
TT
To: Taggart_D
I would simply approach the bus driver and say "I understand you're having some problems with my son, can I help?"....then just sit and listen and pay close attention. Listen for any hint of frustration, then offer ways of how to deal with your son more productively. The driver may need to be educated on how to deal with him. If he/she knows they can come to you with "complaints" it may help to take the heat off your son.This is the best advice I've seen so far. It's always best to avoid triangulation if possible. Unconfrontational face to face will likely solve the problem.
46
posted on
01/12/2006 6:16:18 PM PST
by
WVNan
To: Phil Southern
My response is not as the parent of kids who ride a bus. I take my kids to school. If this is a special ed bus, it could have autistic children on it. A loud child is a nightmare to some autistic children. Most special ed buses I have experience with are pretty quiet.
47
posted on
01/12/2006 6:16:49 PM PST
by
AppyPappy
(If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem.)
To: Phil Southern
Phil Southern wrote: "...Today, when I picked up my son from daycare, the daycare worker... informed me that other children ... came to her to say that the driver of the bus ... has been mean and rude to my son... 'yelling', 'yelling shut-up,' and possibly other things..."
"...more than one other student did confirm, with some saying the actions happen 'some of the time' and others saying 'all the time'..."
That's the portrait of an out of control bus driver. He/she should not be involved with children, let alone driving a bus on public streets.
The report by the day care worker is a gift to you. What you do with it may influence whether the day care worker and reporting kids ever report any other adult's inappropriate behavior.
Imagine your horror had the bus driver's behavior deteriorated further yet no one had bothered to inform you at this stage of the bus driver's bad behavior.
This is a gift to your son, who for whatever reasons, has been unable to relay his problems to you about riding on that bus.
Make good use of the information by making other arrangements for your son's transportation now. Get him off that bus and away from that driver.
Then take this gift of information given to you and report that driver so that no other children or drivers on the road have to suffer a bad bus driver's inappropriate behavior.
48
posted on
01/12/2006 6:18:17 PM PST
by
bd476
To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran
The situation is not as you surmise, though I do not doubt and have witnessed your premise. All of our close family work, his mom/my wife died last year, and the daycare is a great environment for him.
49
posted on
01/12/2006 6:20:12 PM PST
by
Phil Southern
(Dirt is for growin' taters, asphault is for racin')
To: Phil Southern
1] Find out if the Bus has oboard cameras and if so tell the Drivers dispatch or administrator you would like her/him and your self to reveiw such cameras and their contents Sonme schools have them some don't
2] Your child although some may not like to say including yourself is a special needs child and if those special needs are not catered to in a fashion that is respectable to your child and you dependng on what state your in you could threaten to take legal action !
That in most cases takes care of the problem schools and daycares don't like don't like dirty laundry .
3] Find out the facts first talk to the other kids parents and find out if it's ok to meet them and the other kids at the school with the principle in attendence always get the facts first.
The principle or other aurthority may want to give his driver another chance after the facts come out if so tell them you want a mobile camera installed into the bus for the security of your child and others DO THIS in front of the other parents !
this will force the principle or authorities hand into at least having to do something
4] If none of the above works talk to an atourny and have them threaten legal action and have him go directly to the school board because the principle is not doing his /her job .
Good Luck
To: Phil Southern
The story here is still unknown because none of us have witnessed this behavior on the bus (the driver or the child).
Lets go straight to the issue and entertain the idea that your son DOES have a behavior issue on the bus. If this is the case and your son is loud, obnoxious and won't listen to anything the driver tells him, the driver is STILL not handling it properly. Regardless if your son contributes to the problem or not, the driver should be bringing it up with school officials and working with you. Not yelling and screaming at the boy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not drawing conclusions about your sons behavior, the point is, the bus driver does not seem to have what it takes to shuttle a bunch of small kids around, especially some that may have special needs.
To: Phil Southern
Phil- Public school employees are *your* employees. Adults in authority should not be telling children to *shut up*. There are proper procedures if the adult bus driver had issues with your child, or did not feel your child was controllable for whatever reason- this bus driver did not follow procedure. If it were me I would demand that the bus driver be moved to a different route if not fired.
52
posted on
01/12/2006 6:25:51 PM PST
by
Diva Betsy Ross
(Embrace peace- Hug an American soldier- the real peace keepers.)
To: tallhappy
He is a generally well behaved child. Before the death of his mom, he attended a school for the deaf, at which he stayed during the week. He had a 2 hour bus ride many times (school bus) and longer on a greyhound style bus. We never had a problem then, and I asked. I take very seriously the behavior of my son. He speech and hearing are a major issue, but he understands and is respectful. I am not overbearing, but I do not tolerate or expect less than good behavior.
53
posted on
01/12/2006 6:26:20 PM PST
by
Phil Southern
(Dirt is for growin' taters, asphault is for racin')
To: wildwood
I'm with you wildwood.
My father in law was a school bus driver. If ya'll new how scary this is............
Every child has a right to a safe (healthy) environment on a gov't school bus.
It becomes necessary for parents to be active and unyielding advocates for their kids, especially kids that are different. I had to be and I'd do it again only harder if necessary.
To: Eva; Phil Southern
I REALLY like this idea.......
55
posted on
01/12/2006 6:31:14 PM PST
by
Conservative Goddess
(Politiae legibus, non leges politiis, adaptandae)
To: Phil Southern
My suggestion is don't ride the bus.
To: armymarinemom; Phil Southern
"It makes me wonder if he just isn't cut out to deal with a lot of children."
The buss driver's responsibility is to drive the buss, not have to deal with kids who don't behave properly. If your kid can't behave, he shouldn't be on the buss... It's too distracting for a driver to deal with a couple of screaming kids in the back, much less 50.
IMHO you are putting other kids at risk as well as your own by sending him on the bus.
Sorry if this seems blunt, but you are responsible for your kid... Not the school district or the state.
57
posted on
01/12/2006 6:32:46 PM PST
by
babygene
(Viable after 87 trimesters)
To: HuntsvilleTxVeteran
That's a positively hateful assumption. You should be ashamed.
58
posted on
01/12/2006 6:33:29 PM PST
by
Conservative Goddess
(Politiae legibus, non leges politiis, adaptandae)
To: Phil Southern
1. Does the bus have a camera? if so easy answer. If not ask for one to be installed. Get a spy onboard. There are PI's that have 18 year olds that look young.
3.I know it's hard when it's your kid but maybe the driver has had it and is Po'ed - still no excuse.
4. Somebody else may have said it - go talk to the driver in an open and clam manner. It maybe that the problem can be solved that way.
5. This one stinks but get a lawyer. My experience is that one lawyer call and MANY problems get magically solved.
59
posted on
01/12/2006 6:37:16 PM PST
by
mad_as_he$$
(Never corner anything meaner than you. NSDQ)
To: Reactionary
It might be asking a bit much for a school bus driver to be safe and civil. If taking him to school is too much burden then maybe you can send him to a private school or home school.
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