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Posted on 01/01/2006 3:22:05 PM PST by Jim Robinson
Howdy everyone!
Happy New Year!!
2005 was a great year and we're looking forward to an even greater 2006! The Iraqis have held their elections and as democracy and freedom takes hold, it appears the terrorist violence has greatly subsided. We're hoping that the war in Iraq is just about over and that as the Iraqis take over responsibility for their own security, our troops can finally come home. God bless them all. We pray for peace in the Middle East.
On the home front, we see President Bush's numbers on the upswing and our confidence is growing regarding continuing conservative successes in the midterm elections this Fall. Judge Samuel Alito should be confirmed for the Supreme Court in the next few weeks and our hopes for a more conservative court will soon be realized.
September 23, 2006 will mark Free Republic's 10th year anniversary. It's hard to believe that 10 years have passed by so quickly. Time flies when you're having fun. We've been blessed with many successes on Free Republic over the years and are praying for continuing success in the future.
Thank you all very much for making Free Republic the very best conservative site on the web!! FReepers are the greatest!!
May God bless you all with peace and prosperity in the new year and much happiness in all the years to come.
Yeah, right. A post. Merely a post with the TEXAS FLAG FLYING HIGH!
*sigh*
ROTFLMAO!
Good One!
LOL!
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the
Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"
"Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young
lady, gave me a strange look and said,
"Why don't you just put it in park?"
It seems to be just you and I here....so, um, YOU'RE THE ONE!
YEA!!!! ;)
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this.
The first four men -- the poorest -- would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1, the sixth would pay $3, the seventh $7, the eighth $12, the ninth $18, and the tenth man -- the richest -- would pay $59.
That's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until one day, the owner threw them a curve ( in tax language, a tax cut ).
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.00.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.
So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six -- the paying customers? How could They divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, Then the fifth man and The sixth man would end up being PAID to eat their meal.
So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man, then, pointing to the tenth.
"But he got $7!". "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man, "I only saved a dollar, too, ........ It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!".
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man," why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!".
Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him.
But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of paying the bill! Imagine that!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.
Weight Loss Program For Men
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. As he
wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran
across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT
LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to
himself. But desperate, he called them up and
subscribed to the 3- day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he
answered, there stood before him a voluptuous, athletic,
19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air, some
Nike running shoes, and a sign around her neck.
She
introduces herself as a representative of the weight
loss company.
The sign read,
"If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after
her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally
caught her and got the action he was hoping for. After
they were through and she left, he thought to himself,
"I like the way this company does business!" The same girl
showed up for the next two days and the same thing happened.
On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to
find he had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5- day / 20 pound
program.
The next day there was a knock on the door and
there stood the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has
ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running
shoes and a sign around her neck that read,
"If you catch me, you can have me."
He was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in
excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but
when he did, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the
next four days, the same routine happened.
Much to his
delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found
he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order
the 7- day/ 50 pound program
"Are you sure?" asked the
representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous
program."
"Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this
good in years"
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he
opened it he found a muscular guy standing there wearing
nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck
that read,
"If I catch you, you're mine."
Goodnight Fiddlstix...thing's will pick up once the game is over.
I have faith. Sleep well!
EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW ICK!
LOL!!!!
1981 and 2005
Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died
Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. Pope Died
In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry ... please warn the Pope!!
DID YOU KNOW? that 31 days!! from today, ALL cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies
and you will start to receive sale calls. ...YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS...
To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222. It is the National DO NOT CALL list.
It will only take a minute of your time. It blocks your number for five (5) years.
Pass this along...especially to people with kids.
JUST TYPE IN THE ZIP CODE TO FIND AN OFFENDER IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
You will be amazed with how many are living in your area, so please be aware.
Just click the link at the bottom and type in your ZIP code.
http://www.criminalcheck.com/
The Old Poodle
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had
me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running,
the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she
hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of this story..
Don't mess with old folks ... age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!
Why, THANK you!!!!!
Now that I have your attention.......
I see we have a FReeper in need, tonight.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1552091/posts
Oh my...I'll be over in a sec. She's a wonderful lady!!
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