Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this.
The first four men -- the poorest -- would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1, the sixth would pay $3, the seventh $7, the eighth $12, the ninth $18, and the tenth man -- the richest -- would pay $59.
That's what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until one day, the owner threw them a curve ( in tax language, a tax cut ).
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." So now dinner for the ten only cost $80.00.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.
So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six -- the paying customers? How could They divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his "fair share?"
The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, Then the fifth man and The sixth man would end up being PAID to eat their meal.
So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of his earlier $59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man, then, pointing to the tenth.
"But he got $7!". "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man, "I only saved a dollar, too, ........ It's unfair that he got seven times more than me!".
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man," why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!".
Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night he didn't show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him.
But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of paying the bill! Imagine that!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.
Weight Loss Program For Men
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. As he
wondered how in the heck he would ever do that, he ran
across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT
LOSS PROGRAM.
"Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to
himself. But desperate, he called them up and
subscribed to the 3- day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there was a knock on his door, and when he
answered, there stood before him a voluptuous, athletic,
19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air, some
Nike running shoes, and a sign around her neck.
She
introduces herself as a representative of the weight
loss company.
The sign read,
"If you can catch me, you can have me!"
Without a second thought he took off after
her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally
caught her and got the action he was hoping for. After
they were through and she left, he thought to himself,
"I like the way this company does business!" The same girl
showed up for the next two days and the same thing happened.
On the fourth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to
find he had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He called the company and ordered their 5- day / 20 pound
program.
The next day there was a knock on the door and
there stood the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has
ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running
shoes and a sign around her neck that read,
"If you catch me, you can have me."
He was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in
excellent shape and it took him a while to catch her, but
when he did, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the
next four days, the same routine happened.
Much to his
delight, on the fifth day, he weighed himself and found
he had lost another 20 lbs, as promised.
He decided to go for broke and called the company to order
the 7- day/ 50 pound program
"Are you sure?" asked the
representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous
program."
"Absolutely," he replied, "I haven't felt this
good in years"
The next day there was a knock at the door and when he
opened it he found a muscular guy standing there wearing
nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck
that read,
"If I catch you, you're mine."