Blond enough.
Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
And what stocking stuffers do you add to night vision goggles, rope and a good sharp knife? A basket and a large bottle of lotion?
Would the author ridicule my collection of knot books?
I have one of those too.
Also the 40 different kinds that range in between!
We just got a new Bass Pro super store.
I don't know about the bathrobe one. The backdoor to my house lets in a pretty good draft and it's nice to have a bathrobe to throw on as I let the dogs out in the morning....
If your husband should be a guitarist, you can never go wrong with an effects pedal. Doesn't matter if he already has half a dozen, he will be thrilled with one more. Or, if he doesn't have that 5 string bass guitar yet..go for that. I could go on....
humor ping! : )
Blond enough.
Never buy a man a cordless anything.They never have juice when it's really needed.
No reason not to.
Can never have enough Cowbell!
You had specs to follow...Perfect fit.
You just like the way the word "Wad cutter" rolls off your tongue.
I get my husband a new bathrobe every year and he never complains.
I buy him new socks for Father's Day, and he likes them.
I do not buy him ties. I can't remember the last time he wore a tie, I think it was at our daughter's wedding, but I could be mistaken.
The Mom loves you buying a flashlight like that...even if she won't let you keep the puppies.
Buckeye...sheesh...
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