Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
Should have added flashlights.
Men never have a wide enough variety of flashlights.
Gettin' my hubby a new roofing nailer and miter saw.
He adores you doesn't he.
My ex loved tarps. Green tarps only. He put tarps on everything.
Yep, and I aim to keep it that way. :-)
Honest injun - my guy said "I could always use another flashlight or pocketknife".
Laughing very hard.
That Ford Fairlane starter goes on the shelf next to the windshield wiper motor for the 1983 Oldsmobile Brougham and the special cap-type oil-filter remover for the 1975 Pinto.
No, not that shelf. That shelf is for all the jacks for all the cars I've ever owned. Never know when one might fit a new car. Watch out, the 1968 hydraulic jack leaks.
There's no such thing as too many chainsaws in the shed.
They make excellent lean-toos(sp?) when we go camping in foul weather.
Pocket knife...Left that off the list too.
A favorite among males from 15-115.
Did you have to supply the stretchy cord with hooks as well?
Flashlights are always treasured even if he has 300 of them.
Firearms are good, as is ammunition for firearms he already owns.
Geez, it's called a Bungie Cord.
Anything that goes "BOOM!"
Yep. When our lights were out for a week we had them all over the house. Finding batteries in a hurricanes aftermath was a big problem.
i'm too easy to shop for. i am very good at giving detailed lists. i go thru the lastest gun/ tool/ knife/ car/ jeep cataloge and circle everything i want. this is usually done by placing the cataloge on a larger sheet of paper and circling the entire thing.
imo tho, guns are the best presents.
Now tell me why a 40-year-old woman with a master's degree in cardiac nursing would go ga-ga over a 3 foot stuffed bear or a miniscule piece of sparkly carbon. At least a cordless drill (or 17) is GOOD for something ...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.