Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
LOL ----- gotta bring lots of money I guess..
I would rather receive a caliber of ammo that I don't own a gun for so I can go pick out my own!
Men like food. I cook food.
THis left tons of stuff out
Porn, Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, guns, books about war etc etc etc
Is this where I mention my wife wants a new set of waders for Christmas?
Check the tagline. I think I can add another: chainsaws. You need them for the firewood.
Check the tagline. ;o)
So true, so true.
Agreed. Every time I see the 6,000,000 candela flashlight at Meijer (the one with an apeture the width of a dinner plate), it requires a supreme act of will for me to not buy it. I have literally no need for such a thing, but every fiber of my being calls out for a great big flashlight. I have no idea why.
Any 18V DeWalt cordless tool works for me... *g
True to an extent. However, there are men like my husband, who, much to their dismay, had to sell a much-beloved firearm (this was before he met me). After listening to him whine for months about how much he wished that he had another Colt Delta Elite in 10mm "just like his old one", I surprised him with one as a birthday present. The look on his face when he opened the box was worth every penny.
I don't have an answer for teddy bears.
My wife bought me a 10 million candle power cordless Q-Beam spot light.
I received it early because of Hurricane Rita.
It will stay very cool until someone makes a more powerful one.
I got a case of beer from all over the world last year. Greece, Ireland, Germany, Russia, Japan, Australia, etc.
Best present I ever got.
They make'em 10 million candle power and cordless to boot!!
Anything "night vision", for example binoculars or goggles.
Yep, that's the ticket.
You sound like my hubby. He has flashlights so bright, a surgeon could use them for operating on patients. Gotta be a guy thing. Just give me a little pen-light and I'm happy.
That's all my hubby uses, 18v. It's an insult to his manhood to give him a 12v.
I know how to use them, and what they are for..I would hate to screw up a technical term..
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.