Everyone needs some laughs.
ping
Oh the horror...the horror....
But a talking frog is cool...
Ping my butt off!
former engineering student been there done that ping.
hehe Robt.
BTW, Happy Birthday! Did you have fun today?
"Look, guys," he says, "I understand that there's a Bible passage somewhere that says you can't take your money with you when you die. Well, I don't care. I'm going to give each of you $25,000 in cash, and I want you to put it in my coffin at my funeral."
The funeral came and went, and the trio were having some drinks later that night, when the doctor broke down.
"Guys, I can't hold this in any longer; I didn't put the full $25,000 in the casket. I put $15,000 in the casket and donated the rest to the children's hospital."
The priest broke down next. "My hands aren't clean either. I put $10,000 in the casket and gave the rest to the orphanage."
The lawyer slammed his drink down. "I can't believe you two. I am absolutely disgusted by your dishonesty. I'll have you know that I put a check for the full amount of $25,000 in that casket!"
Sent these to my engineer turned MD husband....thanks for the giggle....
I worked with a female mechanical engineer, who, when asked why there were so few female mechanical engineers, would hold her thumb and index finger two inches apart and say: "When you have been told this is six inches, for so long, it is really hard to get the other measurements right!"
father-in-law engineer bump for later!
I like that joke quite a lot. As a pessimist, I see it as half spilled.
Faculty are debating the relative merits of their departments. The mathematician points out how much more economical his department is than the engineering department. "We don't need expensive labs full of equipment. Just give us pencil and paper and trashcans and we will invent something new from time to time, practically no cost". The philosopher says, "Well we only need pencil and paper."
well at least there weren't any Computer Engineering jokes in there :)
"What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets. "
And, Aerospace Engineers (rocket and plane designers) are the matchmakers for the MechEng and CivEngs.
(I spent 4 years with roommates in each major.)
(chortle)
In case you missed this.............
State of West Virginia
Professional Engineer Examination
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.
2. Which of the following pickups will rust out quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
'66 Ford
'69 International Harvester
'72 Chevrolet
'64 GMC
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of moonshine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in Mingo County vents its R-12 charge simultaneously, what would be the percent decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawed pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?
For extra credit how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal mine operates as an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?
Practical
You have just imbibed an entire case of Budweiser and are now alone in a dark room with a disassembled AK-47 assault rifle on the table in front of you. In 15 seconds, an enraged and starving mountain lion will be released in to the room. Assemble and load the weapon.
Phenomonaly dumb.
Four engineers were sitting around one day trying to figure out who might have designed the human body.
The first fellow said, "I think it might be a Mechanical Engineer, because of joints and muscle and sense of balance." The other three nodded their heads and said, "Yeah, could be."
The second fellow said, "I think it might be an Electrical Engineer, because of the nervous system and neural network." The other three nodded their heads and said, "Yeah, could be."
The third fellow said, "I think it might be a Chemical Engineer, because of hormonal balances and metabolism." The other three nodded their heads and said, "Yeah, could be."
The fourth fellow snaps his fingers and shouts out, "I know, it HAD to have been a Civil engineer!" The other three ask "Why?"
"Well," replied the fourth fellow, "who else would put a waste water drainage right through a recreational area?"
I don't get it.....