Posted on 11/25/2005 10:42:22 AM PST by Congressman Billybob
My wife, Kemberly, has left. That’s ordinary enough. It happens a few million times a year, assuming that half of all American divorces are the wife’s idea. But this is about the why, not the what, of that decision.
The why is unique, and extraordinary. If I were she, and she were I, I would do the same thing. (Work on it. That sentence is grammatically correct.)
My wife has been offered the job of Head Chef of a new restaurant out of town, to be built and run to her specifications. To that you say, well, some commuter marriages work. Not this time. The restaurant is a few miles outside Pago Pago in American Samoa. And that is 8,000 miles from my home in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Our situation raises an interesting philosophical question. Would you, should you, leave your husband/wife if the chance of a lifetime – the chance of several lifetimes – came along?
Here’s our story. The Internet recounted its beginning, so it’s appropriate it should recount its end. We began with serendipity, a Newsweek recommendation of my column that brought me together with a lady from Indiana who read it. We end with serendipity, also.
Anyone with skills as a chef, and manager, and caterer, would jump at the opportunity to run a brand-new, four-star restaurant, if such an opening came to his/her attention. A fair number of you are closet chefs. You watch the Food Network. You think maybe you could chuck your humdrum day job and build a satisfying future with a special food product, or a brand-new restaurant. You know who you are. I saw you smile.
But opportunities like that aren’t advertised in the paper. Like much else which appears in the newspapers, things aren’t what they claim. You can rest assured that a help wanted ad that says it offers the “Opportunity of a Lifetime,” doesn’t.
Here’s the story behind this story. Back in June, Kem made a business trip to American Samoa. The population is about 67,000, but of those the ones who come from mainland US or other nations are a smaller group and everyone knows everybody. When anyone new shows up, the residents get to know him/her promptly. It’s the equivalent of waiting for the stage in the American West a century ago.
Anyway, it turns out that a group of businessmen were interested in creating a new, four-star restaurant near Pago Pago. They knew what they wanted, but not who would do it. Enter a talented woman from North Carolina. Everybody invites each other in that group home for dinner. (There ain’t a lot of nighttime entertainment in Samoa.)
So, the folks on the island found out that Kem is a fine cook. They also found out that she knows her way around commercial equipment and management for kitchens, and multiple styles of cooking from many nations. To make a long story short, she had an opportunity to become Head Chef, and partner, with full creative control.
She looked at three possible locations for the restaurant, two for new construction and one a mansion with wrap-around porches overlooking the Pacific. Think of the architecture and environment described in Somerset Maugham’s famous short story, “Rain.” He was living on Samoa when he wrote that.
Kem has not described to me how long it took her to consider this offer that came out of the blue. Maybe she didn’t want to hurt my feelings worse by telling me that her delay was measured in nanoseconds rather than days or weeks. In any event, she returned to North Carolina, and immediately told me the good news (or bad news, depending on your viewpoint).
I understood right away how incredible this opportunity was for her, and why she wanted to accept it. So, instead of getting hysterical, I’ve worked with her on such details as getting a long-term, no-cut contract, and possible copyright issues with the name of the restaurant. So there you have it; probably the most extraordinary reason for the end of a marriage that you’ve ever heard.
Will I miss Kem? You bet. Do I wish her well? Absolutely. Since many readers of my columns are friends of both of us, drop her a line care of my address and I’ll get it to her. And if you’re in Pago Pago in about 14 months, look her up at the club, have “a Thanksgiving dinner that can’t be beat,” and say hello.
About the Author: John Armor is a First Amendment attorney and author who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. John_Armor@aya.yale.edu
My thought exactly. Unless my spouse comes along, it's no deal.
I'll have to agree with BL. You didn't actually fall for that story, did you?
My question exactly.
I showed John's article to my husband, without comment.
He read it, looked at me and asked the same question. So I posed a question to him, what would he do in John's position........he didn't even blink, he picked up the phone and imitated calling his manager, "are there any postings in American Samoa?"
I find this article to be bizarre, with much missing.
You just got your ass thrown under the bus for a job your old lady is taking. Man you mean less to her than a good set of chef's knives. You have been abandoned by your wife. Understand me? She has abandoned you for a chance to work in a kitchen eight thousand miles away.
I hope you can take her for support and anything else that she may possess. No job is worth what she is pulling on you. No matter how wonderful the job is, you have been F%$#@%. Heap whipped cream all over it but it is still a pile of manure.
Grow a set and take her to the cleaner. You have been rooted and don't even realize it.
go-dubya-04, I too was stunned to read an article such as this on FR. Sad reading, particularly on the day after Thanksgiving.
Heartfelt thanks to you (and to each of the others I'm pinging here) for your responses. It gives me hope to see that there many others who affirm marriage and are willing to speak out in defense of it.
Sincere thanks to you all.
Please post your replies to Congressman Billybob; Felicity Fahrquar
Congressman Billybob; Felicity Fahrquar - My prayers going up for both of you. God's love see you both through...God's comfort for the loss of your marriage.
Blessings,
trussell
If you want on/off my prayer ping list, please let me know. All requests happily honored.
BFLR.
I am divorced from my first wife because of her own stupid choices, but she will ALWAYS remain my wife.
Ten years later, when she attended the funeral of my Grandmother, everyone in my family treated her as my wife and give her nothing but the respect that she deserved.
Until the day that Pat or I die, we will always be married to each other. We made an oath to God on the day that we were married.
Today, I have been married to a wonderful woman for 20 years now, and she that has been the best thing that ever happened to me. Sue has taught me so many things about marriage, and how it will last for the rest of your life.
Sue and I often visited her former husband and appreciate him as a good friend. Sue understood that marriage is for the rest of your life.
Until Pat or I die, she will always be my wife, because of the oath to God that we both made.
Couldn't do it.
Someone, perhaps, who is confident enough and secure enough about himself to have no fears about communicating a life changing personal event to a large group of people he looks upon as friends and who look upon him the same way. I doubt that I could do it myself, but I repect John for having the sand to do it and for appreciating his friends as he so obviously does.
Don't get me wrong. I have always felt that one party wanting to split is a legit reason for divorce. As rough a period as it would be, I look at it this way: I get to date hot babes, again!
Thank you or your kind words. The greatest gift in my life is my wife and I thank God for her every day.
Is does not sound like a divorce is in the air, just a physical seperation...for however long.
I wish you and Felicity Fahrquar the very best!
Now that you mention it, this post must be satire. I've never heard of anyone splitting up like this because of a career move!? And if it is not satire, then they didn't have much of a marrage.
To me, this is perhaps the best compliment that he could have ever given any of us.
In return, most Freepers will honor and respect this most valued of friend.
John, I have only one thing to say:
Remember, until the day that you die, the two of you will always be married to each other.
Most restaurants fail within a year.
just damn...
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