Posted on 11/20/2005 2:10:53 PM PST by Dr. Scarpetta
The funeral service was led by elders from Monterey Chapel in Leola, where the Bordens worshipped and where Mike Borden was an elder and Sunday school teacher.
None of the five children spoke during the service. They appeared drawn but composed, even near the end of two hours of greeting mourners.
The deaths of Mike and Cathy Borden were a tragedy.
But, Rex Trogden said Saturday, “I’d like to introduce you to the word ‘triumph.’ ”
A hard word to speak when standing on a stage behind two closed caskets, with five orphaned children in the front row, yet one, the Bordens’ friends said at their funeral service, that is integral to their lives and their faith.
“They risked their lives together,” Trogden, a pastor who knew the Bordens in Charlotte, N.C., said. “Mike and Cathy were willing not only to risk their lives but to lay down their lives.
“And they did so ... together.”
Before a gathering of at least 500 in Lancaster Bible College’s Good Shepherd Chapel, the Bordens, who were shot to death last Sunday, were memorialized in a funeral service with a strongly evangelistic tone.
That was intentional, Trogden said: The Bordens’ children knew their parents would want the gospel message to be proclaimed.
David Ludwig, the 18-year-old boyfriend of the Bordens’ 14-year-old daughter Kara, has been charged with the killings at the family’s Warwick Township home.
Kara Borden, wearing a light-colored sweater, sat with her four siblings during the funeral.
Afterward, the children and other family members attended a graveside service at Landis Valley Mennonite Cemetery.
Trogden referred to the funeral as a “homegoing to be with the Lord.”
“They loved you so much,” he said, speaking to the Borden children, “and cared for you so well, and prayed for you.”
Echoes of tragedy
Television cameras and still photographers were barred from the LBC campus Saturday, although reporters without cameras were permitted to attend; the funeral was open to the public.
Cameramen were sent to a “media area” at the far end of the Manheim Township campus.
One person who attended a Wednesday service for the Bordens at Monterey Chapel said friends had noted that the oldest son, James, was bringing his girlfriend home for Thanksgiving to meet his parents, and the second son, Justin, had recently returned from serving in Iraq.
The other two children, Katelyn, 15, and David, 11, were at home last Sunday morning when, according to police, David Ludwig pulled out a .40-caliber handgun and shot first Mike Borden and then Cathy.
Police have said Ludwig was summoned to the house after the Bordens discovered he had brought Kara home after what they thought was a sleepover at a friend’s house. The parents apparently disapproved of the relationship, at least partly because of the age difference.
Ludwig is charged with abducting Kara after the shootings, triggering the issuance of an Amber Alert. The two were finally caught in Indiana after Ludwig crashed his Volkswagen Jetta into a tree during a police pursuit.
Saturday, the funeral included only fleeting references to the tragedy.
“I see the compassion of Mike and Cathy in Kara,” said Bill Bradford, who delivered the message. “Kara was able to reach out to touch some of the most unlovely people.”
Focus on triumph
Instead, the Bordens’ friends talked about Mike and Cathy.
Trogden compared them to Aquila and Priscilla, a husband and wife mentioned in the New Testament. Three times they’re listed as Aquila and Priscilla and three times as Priscilla and Aquila.
“Equal billing,” Trogden said. “It’s that way, isn’t it? The two of them were together in everything.”
Mike was “a bit of a perfectionist,” said Bradford. “He wouldn’t preach a sermon until every I was dotted and every T was crossed.”
Cathy had the same perfectionist streak, Bradford said.
Both were “mighty warriors of prayer”: “If you were in Mike Borden’s Palm Pilot, you were prayed for.”
Mrs. Borden had a twin, Cindy. “Bookends,” Bradford said.
And, because they both spoke with Southern accents, “stereo bookends.”
Mike had a “wonderfully dry sense of humor,” Trogden said. One Christmas, Cathy wanted the biggest tree they could find to best display all the family ornaments. But the tree was so big that it had to be trimmed before it would fit into the house.
For Christmas, Mike gave Cathy a crystal snowman with an inscription: “Room for one more ornament.”
Mike Borden was vice president and general manager of the Digital Publishing Services Division of Cadmus Communications in Ephrata. Cathy Borden was a homemaker who home-schooled the three youngest children.
They dated in high school in Hannibal, Mo. Cathy earned a bachelor’s degree in special education and Mike an associate’s degree in graphic design, both from Northeast Missouri State University. They were married in 1977.
Both were 50 when they died.
Cathy Borden had been attending weekly Change of Pace Bible studies at Lancaster Alliance Church, sponsored by Friendship Foundation, since the family moved to Lancaster in 1996.
Dona Fisher, head of Friendship Foundation, said Thursday that Mrs. Borden was “just a joy. When she walked in, she was just so happy.”
The group offers a program for homeschoolers, so the three children accompanied their mother. Change of Pace participants told Fisher that Kara was “so much fun. The kids just loved her.”
Michael Borden was a “spiritual leader” in his home, Fisher said: “He confronted evil.
“... It’s a real loss for us.”
‘Not the end’
Most importantly, the Bordens’ friends said, both of them loved Jesus.
One Bible verse printed in Saturday’s program, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” from the book of Joshua, was taken from a plaque in the Bordens’ home.
The Bordens went with Bradford to see “The Passion of the Christ” at the theater two years ago. “We all shared the same hanky,” Bradford remembered. Afterward, Cathy said, “It never dawned on me how much somebody was willing to do on my behalf.”
“It’s difficult for us to say goodbye,” Bradford said in his benediction. “It should be easy to look forward to a time when we can say, ‘Welcome home.’ ”
He quoted Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” and John 16:22, “Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”
“This,” Rex Trogden said, “is not the end.”
LOL I slammed my door a couple of times and my Dad was coming through it just as fast. Doubled my grounding time.
"Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?" was the first thing to go through my mind upon hearing about the incident.
LOL! I got smart after a while and only slammed when he wasn't home! But smart off to him at the dinner table?? Couldn't run fast enough!
Kara Borden had better make something very special out of her life. Whatever her degree of guilt, she'll need therapy, as will all her siblings, for a long time. The family will resent her, perhaps even blame her...naturally. Still, she's only a kid and that explains everything. Adolescents' brains don't fire the way adults' do. Terrible tragedy, for the shooter's family, too.
I have appreciated your comments. I personally think that people here are being too hard on Kara. Yes, I've read her blog and yes, she was obviously a handful for her parents. But a lot of kids are before they mature. Fortunately, most of them do not have murderous boyfriends. What if your young boyfriend had been a David Ludwig? I expect Kara's siblings and family to surround her with a lot of love and try to help her through this horrible situation.
Yes, there are consequences to sin and they can be devastating, as Kara is learning at a tender age. But depending on what they turn up about her and her relationship with Ludwig, I don't think she bears responsibility for their murder per se. But that may not be much solace to her, though. They're still gone.
Hi, there, CindyDawg -- good to see you!
Yeah, I figured that. But considering what we know at this point, it doesn't make sense -- even if it did serve his purpose to comfort. As if he's also in denial, or in shock, or putting a bandaid on it ... who knows.
Yes, healing and comfort are needed for all concerned, incl. the community at large -- but they (and we ALL) must also examine themselves as responsible people and come to grips with and learn some difficult lessons.
From all I know at this point, it was a longer term process -- a train wreck in the making. How could no one be aware if there was such sneaking around going on? It goes against all I know of sisters, and little brothers! How can a mother not know what's up with her daughter to this extent? Was she truly so very disengaged?
It is as if they'd impotently wrung their hands over Kara: we know, for example, that her mother wondered in emails to friends "what she should do about Kara". Then when Kara was out all night, & caught in an obvious lie, they said to themselves and to Kara, "That's it, young lady! Now you've done it! Things are going to change around here!"
Anyway ... this is truly a cautionary tale. My husband & I will continue to say "No.", "NO!!", "No, sorry, you can't, that's not a good idea." We pray for wisdom, discernment, and honesty before God, as we are accountable to Him.
Hi, Ditter -- thank you for your post. Best to you -- years later as you continue to heal from that difficult loss.
First lesson: if your underage CHILD is out all night with a "MAN", call the police.
Thank you.
Will be thinking about you during the holidays, Ditter. God Bless.
Thanks for your posts. Glad you made it through all that!
What a wonderful story that is of a father's concern and protectiveness toward his precious daughter! What a special memory to treasure ... and what a good example and encouragement to dads and moms to stay involved, and to keep saying "NO, I love you too much."
May God Bless you too, my freeper friend.
yep!
and (this is a 'hindsight is 20-20' thing) not to confront right then. Where were his parents in all this -- esp. if he'd exhibited (ahem) "poor choices" in the past, as with that other girl? Did Kara's parents ever talk to his parents? Being it's a community / church / homeschool group thing?
(this is a 'hindsight is 20-20' thing)
They were just waaaaaaaaay more tolerant and nice than I would have been. Wonder if they called his parents first?
It's very hard for gentle people that prefer to reason to deal with head strong teenagers. My mom couldn't handle me but my grandmother knew my tricks and took no garbage.
I am not sure if many people anymore wear black at funerals...at my sons funeral, I wore a purple jumper, with a white blouse...because my son loved me in that outfit, that is what I wore to his funeral...
As for his clothing...he knew he was dying soon..so he told me what he wanted to be buried in...his favorite jeans, his favorite shoes, a new shirt he had just bought one of the last times we were out together, and his hat, that he always wore, to cover his 'balding' head, which was balding because of all the chemo...and so I brought those items to the funeral home, and my son was buried in what he wanted to be buried in...he said, he rarely wore a suit in life, and he did not want to wear one in death...so I followed his last wishes...
If she wasn't involved in her parents murder and survives this I she may do good things when she grows up. She may even be able to help other girls. Only time will tell and there are a lot of ifs.
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