Posted on 10/18/2005 8:21:45 AM PDT by dead
"Camille Cabral has been a transsexual born in Brazil and life in France for several years. Dermatologist of formation, it implies himself since nearly fifteen years for the improvement of the public health. Camille was also elected in 2001 like municipal adviser of the Party Greens to the 17 ième district of Paris and was candidate for the Green Party with the legislative éléctions in 2002. She is fondatrice of PASTT (Prevention, Action, Santé, Travailleurs, Transgenres), an organization for the rights of disguised and the transsexuals working in the industry of the sex. Camille is militant in the fight for the rights of the workers and of the workers of the sex and implies itself particularly near migrant associations of workers of the sex in Europe."
I amend my thoughts now to, that is one butt-ugly she-man..so to speak..
[ Title Card showing France’s blue, white and red colors ]
[ V/O : Hey everybody it’s time to play ( simultaneously with V/O crowd): Old.. French.. Whore! ]
[ SUPER : Old French Whore! ]
[ Shot : Set of Old French Whore game show ]
[ V/O : And now, here’s the host of "Old French Whore"… Dooooon Barbrell! ]
Don Barbrell : Thank you! Hi everybody and welcome to "Old French Whore". The game show that lets old French whores team up with high school honor students to win fabulous prizes! Let’s meet our contestants! On the blue team we have Kevin Rheaume of Lansing Michigan! Kevin is a senior at East Lansing High School where he’s a proud member of the marching band!
Kevin: Hey Don!
Don Barbrell : Kevin your partner today is a 48 year old prostitute from Marseilles named Babette! Babette I heard you had a funny thing happened to you, uh, on the way to the studios.
Babette : [ With French accent ] Yes, a sailor broke my arm!
Don Barbrell : Ouch! Okay. Well! Good luck today! On the white team we have Jason Rhaims, a high school junior from Richmond Virginia, who loves computers! Hey Jason!
Jason : Hi!
Don Barbrell : Jason your partner is Simone Heques, a 59 year old syphilitic from Québec. Hi Simone!
Simone: J’ai besoin d’un fix! (I need a fix!)
Don Barbrell : Great! Okay! And finally on the red team we have Denise Kirk from Crystal Lake High. She was part of Ohio’s’ all-state swim team and she’s active in recycling! Good for you!
Denise : Thanks Don!
Don Barbrell : Denise you must be excited because you’re paired with our returning champion, she’s 67, and was once the personal concubine of Rommel, say hello to Coco!
Coco : [ With French accent ] Hello Don.
Don Barbrell : Allo! Allo! Let’s take a look at our categories, today’s categories are… U.S Presidents… Science Fun…. and Les Maladies Vénériales! (Venereal Diseases) Coco and Denise choose a category!
Denise : "U.S Presidents" for 200 Don!
Don Barbrell : Okay, "Who was Thomas Jefferson’s Vice-president?" [ Jason hits his buzzer ] Jason and Simone!
Jason : John Adams? [ "wrong answer" sound ]
Don Barbrell : No [ Babette hits her buzzer ] Kevin and Babette!
Babette : You are sexy! You come with me we have sexy good time! [ "wrong answer" sound ]
Don Barbrell : Incorrect! [ Denise hits her buzzer ] Denise and Coco! [Coco murmurs at Denise ear ]
Denise : Aaron Burr? [ "good answer" sound ]
Don Barbrell : Correct! [ Denise and Coco kiss each other ] Choose again! Very nice!
Coco : "Maladies Vénériales" for 200 please.
Don Barbrell : Okay, "When dealing with itchy red bumps-- [ Babette hits her buzzer ] Babette!
Babette : Crabs! Kiss crabs! [ "wrong answer" sound ]
Don Barbrell : No, sorry. Listen to the entire question. "When dealing with itchy red bumps, what kind of ointment -- [ Coco hits her buzzer ] Coco!
Coco : Calamine lotion and penicillin? [ "good answer" sound ]
Don Barbrell : That is correct! Choose again!
Coco : Hem, Let’s go for "Science Fun" for 300 please.
Don Barbrell : Okay, "What is the atomic symbol for Chromium?" [ Jason hits his buzzer ] Jason and Simone!
Jason : [ Simone is all over him ] She’s making me really uncomfortable.
Simone : Ohhhh Tu es un beau garcon. Donnez-moi l’argent. [ Simone puts her hands in Jason’s pockets ]
Jason : Hey!
Simone : Donnez-moi l’argent…
Jason : Come on!
Simone : Donnez-moi!
Jason : No!
Simone : Tu es très beau… Je t’aime! (You’re good-looking boy, give me the money, give me, give me, you’re handsome, I love you.)
Jason : Listen I want a new partner sir. She smells like whisky and feet!
Don Barbrell : Is that your answer?
Jason : Get off me Ma’am! [ "wrong answer" sound. Kevin hits his buzzer ]
Don Barbrell : Kevin and Babette!
Kevin : I think my whore is dead.
Don Barbrell : Okay we’ll have to check with the judges at the end of the round on that! Denise and Coco it’s up to you! Once again "What is the atomic symbol for Chromium?"
Denise : I, I, I don’t know!
Coco : Don’t be silly. The symbol for Chromium is CR. It was discovered by Vauquelin in 1797. It’s atomic weight is fifty-one, nine, nine, six. [ "good answer" sound ]
Don Barbrell : That is correct! Well played Coco!
Denise : That is awesome! How did you know that?
Coco : Little girl, I was not always like this. No [ drama music, lights dim, Denise get a few feet away from Coco who speaks to the crowd ] Once I was beautiful and young like you! I wanted to be a great chemist but in those days, it was not proper for a young lady. So I ran away far from home and thought I would run to a new country, where girls could be whatever they whish to be. But I never found that place, and before I knew it I was leaning in the public parks, pleasing factory workers for money [ wipes her lips, music ends ]
Don Barbrell : [ nods at Coco ] All right! Well, Coco you’re our big winner again today with 700 dollars cash and the chance to come back tomorrow and win a Chevy Cavalier! [ Kevin hits his buzzer, while Simone sings a French love song ]
Kevin : My whore is definitely dead.
Don Barbrell : We’ll see you tomorrow everybody on?
[ SUPER : Old French Whore! ]
V/O Crowd : Old!.. French!.. Whore!
[ Fade out ]
Don Barbrell.....Will Ferrell
Kevin Rheaume.....Chris Kattan
Babette.....Cheri O’Teri
Jason Rhaims.....Tim Meadows
Simone.....Molly Shannon
Denise Kirk.....Ana Gasteyer
Coco.....Garth Brooks
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly like that goes to the bone."
ROFLMAO!
Gads, that made me bust a gut!
Cruised into a bar on the shore
Her picture graced the grime on the door
She a long lost love at first bite
Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's alright
That's right
Backstage we're having the time
of our lives until somebody say
Forgive me if I seem out of line
Then she whipped out of her gun
tried to blow me away
Dude look like a lady
Dude look like a lady
Dude look like a lady
Dude look like a lady
So never judge a book by its cover
Or who you gonna love by your lover
Love put me wise to her love in disguise
She had the body of Venus
Lord imagine my surprise
Dude look like a lady
Dude look like a lady
Dude look like a lady
Dude look like a lady
Baby let me follow you down
Let me take peek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me all night
Baby let me follow you down
Turn the other cheek dear
Baby let me follow you down
Do me, do me, do me, sue me
What a funky lady
She like it like it like it like that
He was a lady
Presumably getting your country raped by an invading army is preferable to sleeping with that.
Regards, Ivan
For great justice -- all your zot (and stinky French prossies) belong to us.
Ivan, you gotta quit that dude...I'm spittin coffee all over the table here..:)
Troll be gone.
U
G
L
Y
You ain't got no alibi
Is she missing a finger too? If I saw that wandering down the street, I'd try to give it massive head trauma since that what movies tell me to do in case of zombies.
Drinking beer and...
drinking beer and...
...
Take one look at her and you know why the birth rate in France is dropping.
No, EU is pronounced SPPEEEEEEUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
No, EU is pronounced SPPEEEEEEUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
I'll have dry toast
Just checking.
EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!! (gack! ptoooie! bleaaaaghhh!)
Best show on TV!!
I have NEVER been that desperate in my life, never.
Oh, Ivan. Just hush up and kiss me!!!
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