Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The Good Wife's Guide (Guys - You're gonna love this)
http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/misc/days.doc ^ | 13 May 1955 | Housekeeping Monthly Magazine

Posted on 10/14/2005 10:20:29 AM PDT by add925

The good wife's guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal(especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces(if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and shoe sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your homeis a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Dont greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Dont complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17. Dont ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will alwaysexercise his will with fairness and truthfullness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: genderwars; haimusingtehinternet; housewife; oldastheinternet; welcometo7yearsago
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 61-8081-100101-120 ... 481-493 next last
To: Alouette

Holy Shiite Batman, that post is what most of my guy friends go through all the time. And women wonder why men cheat?????????????


81 posted on 10/14/2005 10:48:12 AM PDT by chris1 ("Make the other guy die for his country" - George S. Patton)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: Alouette

That is such bunk.
I don't believe that this was really from the 1800's.


82 posted on 10/14/2005 10:48:52 AM PDT by It's me
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: Individual Rights in NJ

this is my dream women.

had her, glad to be rid of her.
my fiancee is similar, with the exception that she works from home also. makes all the difference in the world when they contribute to paying bills as opposed to just racking them up.


83 posted on 10/14/2005 10:49:12 AM PDT by absolootezer0 ("My God, why have you forsaken us.. no wait, its the liberals that have forsaken you... my bad")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: day10

sOMEONE ALREADY TOOK CARE OF THAT.

Damn caps lock. I knew I shouldn't have had them reattach the stupid pinky after the accident.


84 posted on 10/14/2005 10:49:21 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (Want to be on my Civil Engineers ping list? Say the word!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 80 | View Replies]

To: add925
If it was still like this today, the world would be a better and different place.

Problem/the change, happened back when they decided that they had a penis too!

85 posted on 10/14/2005 10:49:25 AM PDT by sit-rep (If you acquire, hit it again to verify...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: The Wizard

You have both?

Not sure if we should worship or feel sorry for you if that is the case.


86 posted on 10/14/2005 10:50:17 AM PDT by misterrob
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 79 | View Replies]

To: RockinRight

that wouldn't happen either...


87 posted on 10/14/2005 10:50:21 AM PDT by sit-rep (If you acquire, hit it again to verify...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: rintense

"You know, of the past fwe guys I've dated, they've both said their fantasy is to have a 'June Cleaver' waiting at the door for them when they get home from work, dressed up with a pearl necklace, slippers in hand, and a homecooked meal on the dinner table."




Well, just tell them that if they can do as well at bringing home the bacon as Ward did, they'll come a lot closer to their goal. Tell them that if they act as stupid as Ward did and play the foolish man all the time, they might get a lot closer. Tell them that they'll have to sleep in separate beds and only kiss your cheek, like Ward Cleaver did.

Tell them that you'll check them out. If they're Ward Cleaver, you'll be happy to oblige. [grin]


88 posted on 10/14/2005 10:50:41 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: Alouette
LMAO! Some of it actually is very true...especially...

Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices
89 posted on 10/14/2005 10:50:59 AM PDT by PigRigger (Send donations to http://www.AdoptAPlatoon.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: Former Proud Canadian

Actually, I've read this before and think they are all good ideas. Too often these days spouses seem to be in competition rather than trying to make each other happy. And I'm quite sure the divorce rate in 1955 was nowhere near what it is today. Same with the out of wedlock birth rate. Ah, the good ole days.


90 posted on 10/14/2005 10:51:35 AM PDT by mlc9852
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: add925

Somewhere That's Green - Little Shop Of Horrors
I know Seymour's the greatest,
But I'm dating a semi-sadist.
So I got a black eye,
and my arm's in a cast.

Still that Semour's a cutie.
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty.
And I dream of a place,
Where we can be together, at last.

A matchbox of our own.
A fence of real chainlink.
A grill out on the patio.
Disposal in the sink.
A washer and a dryer,
And an ironing-machine.
In a tract house that we share,
Somewhere that's green.

He rakes and trims the grass.
He loves to mow and weed.
I cook like Betty Crocker,
And I look like Donna Reed.
There's plastic on the furniture
To keep it neat and clean.
In the Pine-Sol scented air,
Somewhere that's green.




Between our frozen dinner,
and our bed-time nine-fifteen.
We snuggle watching Lucy,
On a big, enormous, twelve-inch screen.

Oh, his December bride,
He's father, he knows best.
The kids play Howdy-Doody,
As the Sun sets in the West.
A picture out of Better Homes
And Gardens magzine.
Far from Skid Row,
I dream we'll go...
Somewhere that's Green.


91 posted on 10/14/2005 10:52:27 AM PDT by Vaquero ("An armed society is a polite society" R. Heinlein)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: add925

Send it to all the feminazis that you know.
Heh heh heh!


92 posted on 10/14/2005 10:52:38 AM PDT by BooksForTheRight.com (what have you done today to fight terrorism/leftism (same thing!))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PigRigger

LOL...hey, that's my job, not my husband's! :)


93 posted on 10/14/2005 10:52:43 AM PDT by EX52D
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 89 | View Replies]

To: Corin Stormhands; ecurbh
Sheesh! There are days I'd get turned on just to know she even knew where the vacuum was...

Thanks for the tip. I think I'll try that ;~D

94 posted on 10/14/2005 10:53:00 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: apackof2

I thought you might get a kick out of this. Or maybe have a comment or two.... lol.

Forgive if you have already been pinged.


95 posted on 10/14/2005 10:53:13 AM PDT by day10 (Rules cannot substitute for character.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: add925
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.

This sentence could have been simplifed by replacing "a little more interesting for him" with "let him watch".

96 posted on 10/14/2005 10:53:30 AM PDT by steve-b (A desire not to butt into other people's business is eighty percent of all human wisdom)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: add925

The Smart Girls guide

1. Dinner- Whomever gets home first starts it, the other then has to wash the dishes. If you both are too tired...eat out.

2. OR just take a warm bath, can call out for pizza.

3. Don't expect anymore from him than he'd expect from you. IOW, just give each other space and share the newspaper.

4. Hire a housekeeper, unless you really like spending all your free time with a vacuumn cleaner and trying to figure out how to operate that iron thingie.

5. Have a 'his mess' are and a 'your mess' area. Both are sacred. Don't mess in his mess and he can't mess in yours.

6. Get a gas fireplace with a remote. Heck, get two...
One for his area and the other for yours.

7. Don't have kids. Or at least get real quite ones that are born able to dress, feed and drive themselves everywhere.

8. Be as happy to see him as he is to see you, then go to your areas and leave each other the heck alone.

9. Smile if you feel like it.

10. Pretend to listen to him. You know he's only pretending with you. Even better, paste pictures of Adrian Paul, Gerard Butler etc to underside of your glass coasters. Then you can day dream while he's talking.

11. Alternate 'whose night this is' --- and flip a coin over 'whose night this is' on Sunday.

12. Your goal: To try to keep the neighbors from calling the law, your family calling you a failure and your dreams being totally dashed.

13. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Greet him with the same list of things that met you when you got home. Do the 'coin flip' thing on who gets to fix what.

14. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Because you picked up your purse and headed out too...cuz there was a phone number on the bottom of coaster #5

15. Make him and yourself comfortable--- See mess areas above. Leave him in his while you go off to your own.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. If your name is "Lassie" and you like being called "B!tch" other wise, if he's an adult male, he can figure out his own shoes.

17. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. You KNOW how good his judgment is and as for integrity, see the part about being out all night. Just keep it quid pro quo and all will be just fine.

18. A good wife always knows her place....which is in a warm bubble bath, eating Domino's pizza while watching "Troy" (Sound off) and thumbing through the lastest catalogue from Good Vibrations.


97 posted on 10/14/2005 10:53:38 AM PDT by najida (The internet is for kids grown up-- Where else could you have 10,000 imaginary friends?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BooksForTheRight.com
Send it to all the feminazis that you know.

Not a real good idea, I think it would only confirm their mission.

98 posted on 10/14/2005 10:54:33 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 92 | View Replies]

To: Caipirabob
Thanks for posting the Indiana.edu pic. That's the one I just hung up in my office. The ladies around here don't like it, but....(THUMP) AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGG!


99 posted on 10/14/2005 10:54:35 AM PDT by add925 (The Left = Xenophobes in Denial)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]

To: add925
16.(b) Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Even while laughing, I did notice that 16.(b) is my husband's idea of a perfect wife!

100 posted on 10/14/2005 10:54:35 AM PDT by caryatid (Old times there are not forgotten!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 61-8081-100101-120 ... 481-493 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson