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MORFORD: What God Really Told Bush
San Francisco Chronicle ^
| 10/12/5
| Mark Morford
Posted on 10/12/2005 7:56:21 AM PDT by SmithL
Apparently, it wasn't just "invade Iraq and Afghanistan in my name." A special report:
Scene: White House private residence, night, not long ago. President Bush present in his most favoritest guns 'n' bunnies PJs. Laura asleep, knocked out by a combination of too much Good Housekeeping and excessive hair-spray fumes. Suddenly, a burst of black smoke. A deep, resonant voice speaks:
"Psst! George! God here, taking a break from supervising the well-being of eight billion troubled souls along with infinite galaxies of unimaginable vastness to speak with you directly one more time because, well, you're special, aren't you, George? Yes you are! Yes you are! OK, stop giggling. I have more commands. Get off the damn hobbyhorse, George, and get a pen and a notepad. No, not a crayon. I don't care if blue is your favori-- George! Get a pen! OK? Good. Here we go:
"As you know, I'm not quite what everyone thinks. I am not all benevolence and love and light. In fact, I have a downright dark side, mean and nasty and cunning, and I want you, George, to continue to be my special right-hand man. My special little guy. In fact, you shall help enact my wrath, Dubya. Doesn't that sound fun?
"There are three things I love, George: war, revenge, suffering. Oh, and smiting the heathens. OK, four things. And kickboxing. Five things. There are five things I love, Dubya. You with me? And you and your demon monkeys are enacting the first four admirably, George. Don't be shy, go ahead and tell those Palestinian officials you were commanded by God to "restore peace" in the Middle East by bombing nearly defenseless, pip-squeak Iraq and Afghanistan to smithereens. They love that stuff.
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
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Morfordite AlertYou've been warned!
1
posted on
10/12/2005 7:56:28 AM PDT
by
SmithL
To: SmithL
The so-called request from God to Bush has already been exposed as a hoax. This says more about that idiot Morford's willingness to believe any anti-Bush garbage than it does about Bush. The fact that leftist lunatics like Morford have regular columns in major "reputable" rags, even in Frisco, says volumes about the decline of this country.
2
posted on
10/12/2005 8:08:23 AM PDT
by
driftless
( For life-long happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
To: SmithL
"go ahead and tell those Palestinian officials you were commanded by God to "restore peace" in the Middle East"
That story was already debunked. Like Morford cares.
3
posted on
10/12/2005 8:09:02 AM PDT
by
frankjr
To: SmithL
Oh! Ha ha! I get it! It's an evil, soulless little warthog of a "man" pretending to speak for God! And inferring that the President is a child! And giving the impression that God loves death and destruction, and is using the President to spread those things throughout the planet! Wow! That sort of originality is just unheard of! I can't imagine anyone on the left EVER coming up with something that funny! Woooo! Man, that's rich stuff!
The idea of this sleazy little strumpet having any idea what God wants to beyond ridiculous and well past sublime. The two things butt slut hates most in the world are God and conservatives, and golly gee, he found a way to make himself look like an ass while attempting to smear both at once. The "wit" he shows in this tripe is just overwhelmingly lame, yet extremely predictable. The left truly has gone beyond the ability to parody.
4
posted on
10/12/2005 8:23:42 AM PDT
by
Jokelahoma
(Animal testing is a bad idea. They get all nervous and give wrong answers.)
To: Jokelahoma
5
posted on
10/12/2005 8:28:00 AM PDT
by
marlon
To: SmithL
Too many poppers? The guy is nuts and brain damaged.
6
posted on
10/12/2005 8:35:04 AM PDT
by
manwiththehands
( "France and chicken, somehow it just goes together.")
To: driftless
LOL...if God would have told W...he's smart enough NOT TO EVER TELL ANYONE...while he's president. ;o)
7
posted on
10/12/2005 8:38:20 AM PDT
by
shield
(The Greatest Scientific Discoveries of the Century Reveal God!!!! by Dr. H. Ross, Astrophysicist)
To: SmithL
Why even post this idiot's rantings? It's not only vile in content, but it's the most poorly written crap ever published by a major media source. Seriously, the guy cannot write a coherent sentence.
You're only encouraging him by posting this stuff here.
8
posted on
10/12/2005 8:40:12 AM PDT
by
T.Smith
To: T.Smith
You're only encouraging him by posting this stuff here. That's a good thing! Morford is the true voice of leftism in XXI Century. He says what a lot of them are thinking, but are either smart enough or too timid so say in public. He (and the DUmpster) is a window into the soul of the Democratic Party.
9
posted on
10/12/2005 8:47:56 AM PDT
by
ArrogantBustard
(Western Civilisation is aborting, buggering, and contracepting itself out of existence.)
To: ArrogantBustard
If they're the windows into the soul of the Democratic party, may we please pull the shades?
10
posted on
10/12/2005 11:21:41 AM PDT
by
T.Smith
To: SmithL
Message for Ms. Morford... Message for Ms. Morford...
11
posted on
10/12/2005 11:26:30 AM PDT
by
Prime Choice
(E=mc^3. Don't drink and derive.)
To: SmithL
I want a demon monkey!!!
12
posted on
10/12/2005 11:29:00 AM PDT
by
RichInOC
(Two-block the Jolly Roger. Set Condition 1SQ. Spin up all missiles. This is not a drill. Arghhhhh...)
To: SmithL
Well, if it is God whispering into President Bush's ear, than it is reasonable to assume that there is some kind of fairy, some SanFran Tinkerbell no doubt, whispering into Morford's.
13
posted on
10/12/2005 12:46:14 PM PDT
by
SpinyNorman
(The ACLU empowers terrorists and criminals, weakens America, and degrades our society.)
To: driftless
Fevered, hate-filled imaginings pass for solid news in San Francisco.
14
posted on
10/12/2005 4:37:36 PM PDT
by
My2Cents
(Dead people voting is the closest thing the Democrats come to believing in eternal life.)
To: SmithL
The "keywords" have me in stitches. :-D
15
posted on
10/12/2005 4:38:33 PM PDT
by
My2Cents
(Dead people voting is the closest thing the Democrats come to believing in eternal life.)
To: driftless
"The fact that leftist lunatics like Morford have regular columns in major "reputable" rags, even in Frisco, says volumes about the decline of this country."
No, it just says volumes about the decline of American newspapers - which is no big loss, btw.
16
posted on
10/12/2005 4:39:46 PM PDT
by
decal
(Mother Nature and Real Life are conservatives; the Progs have never figured this out.)
To: My2Cents
The "keywords" have me in stitchesFeel free to play along.
17
posted on
10/12/2005 4:40:53 PM PDT
by
SmithL
(There are a lot of people that hate Bush more than they hate terrorists)
To: driftless
To: manwiththehands
The guy is nuts and brain damaged.
----I agree.
19
posted on
10/19/2005 2:51:10 PM PDT
by
WasDougsLamb
(Just my opinion.Go easy on me........)
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