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icSouthlondon - Squirrels on crack

Squirrels on crack

Oct 7 2005
 

 

South London Press

NATURE lovers fear that squirrels could become hooked on crack cocaine plundered from addicts' hidden stashes.

The furry animals are thought to be behind a new drugs turf war in Brixton - stealing rocks of crack hidden in front gardens.

Tough police action to rid the town centre of dealers and addicts has seen crackheads abandon their usual drug stash hideouts.

But the blitz has displaced some dealing into nearby residential streets.

Drug addicts are known to be hiding small stashes of crack rocks in people's front lawns late at night.

Squirrels have been spotted in the same front gardens, seemingly hunting out the buried narcotics.

The discovery has led some residents to speculate that the squirrels are already in the grips of addiction. One resident, who asked for his name to be withheld, told the South London Press.

"I was chatting with my neighbour who told me that crack users and dealers sometimes use my front garden to hide bits of their stash.

"An hour earlier I'd seen a squirrel wandering round the garden, digging in the flowerbeds.

"It looked like it knew what it was looking for.

"It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot but it kept on desperately digging.

"It was almost as if it was trying to find hidden crack rocks."

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in the US.

They are known to live in parks frequented by addicts in New York and Washington DC.

The squirrels have attacked park visitors in their frenzied search for their next fix.

An RSPCA spokesman said he was unaware of the squirrels taking crack in Brixton.

[Shqipo]

They also go coo coo for cocoa puffs.

[scott7278]

I guess they moved past Clusters.

[Grizzled Bear]

Crack squirrels are a recognised phenomena in the US.
_________________________________________________________
That has to be the funniest sentence I have ever read!

I've lived outside the U.S. but I am still surprised by some of the things people in other countries believe about us!

[Lil'freeper]

heh. Ping.

[nmh]

Did they test the squirrels to see if they were on this stuff?

[adorno]

“It was ill-looking and its eyes looked bloodshot, but it kept on desperately digging. It seems a strange thing to say, but it seemed to know what it was looking for.”

I'll start worrying about addicted squirrels when they approach me with a weapon and ask me for money to support their habit.

I'll worry even more when some liberal animal lovers want to start some government programs to help the squirrels break their habits.

[counterpunch]

[Redcloak]

How would one differentiate between a squirrel on crack versus one that is not on crack?

[Wilhelm Tell]

I guess someone's drug stash got squirrled away. Someone had to say it...

[FreeAtlanta]

So do democrats.

[Kimmers]

It is just a matter of time before they started acting "squirrelly".....someone had to say it

[Dittohead68]

'recognized us phenomena'

Just when did people stop using the "z" for words like recognized, realized and organized?

I realize that this is a U.K. writer from the UK Press, but it has been done here in the US as well. Have any of you noticed the trend? Quite disturbing. Almost seems like the Americanized ways are being phased out little by little. Or, am I a bit too anal?

[manwiththehands]

"Squirrels on Crack"? You mean Democrats?

[mmercier]

This sounds like a weekly world news article.

[mmercier]

Seriously, the squirrels are suffering from distemper or rabies.

Likely the area has long since banned "cruel traps" used for animal control at local landfills. The rats go distemper or rabid and fight with the raccoons who venture into the suburban areas when the site gets capped. The squirrels and raccoons interact and the blood born disease transfers.

Wait till the peppy the house cat goes at it with a infected squirrel... I have seen this in person too many times. Then all the cat owners who outlawed "cruel traps" will scream to high heaven that something must be done to stop this outrage.

We did this in New England, killed off most of the raccoons via disease and are now watching same run through the skunk population. Rabies and distemper are now surging among house pets here, millions have and will continue to die.

When man alters the environment man must manage the alteration. You can not dump a hundred million cubic yards of food (garbage) and expect the natural balance to be maintained. Manage the alteration or accept infected animals, even in your yard or home.

[reagan_fanatic]

"I can quit anytime - honest!"

[Sisku Hanne]

I haven't been to th UK for nearly 20 years. But back then I was told they didn't have squirrels. Never saw one for the entire month.

[Graybeard58]

There's a squirrel in my neighborhood that I have turned into a democrat. I started giving him an occasional cookie, now any time he sees me he has his little paw held out.

[Sender]

Crack squirrels are often armed with machine guns and rocket launchers bought at illegal gun shows. Bloody yanks. Frickin dope squirrels keep having flashbacks and hallucinations and the next thing you know, a whole city block is burning. Protect your nuts!

[punster]

It would seem the squirrels are beginning to act a bit squirrelly. :-)