Squirrels go nuts on crack (addicts hide drugs in gardens; our furry friends dig it up)

The Sun (U.K.); ^ | October 7, 2005 | VIRGINIA WHEELER

[Stoat]

LOL. The squirrels in my yard would appreciate us researching them instead of what I normally do....shoot 'em!

It's a good thing that you are accustomed to drawing a bead on moving rodentia, because along with crack always comes violence.  Any crack-addicted squirrel who ventures into your yard with a miniature AK-47 will most likely get far more than what he was anticipating.

[Liberal Classic]

The origin of flying squirrels.

[pissant]

Holy smokes! If he has an AK-47, I'm gonna need more firepower than my Crossman bb-gun!!

[Dustbunny]

I just really have a hard time not laughing while reading this bit of 'fiction'.

[Stoat]

The origin of flying squirrels

Absolutely!  Please see posts #117 and #10   :-)

[Stoat]

Holy smokes! If he has an AK-47, I'm gonna need more firepower than my Crossman bb-gun!!

May I suggest......

Barrett .50 Caliber Rifles – Barrett Rifles is the leading manufacturer of .50 Caliber Rifles in the world, located in Murfreesboro, TN

[Slings and Arrows]

I was wondering why the squirrels in the hood had their pants riding low exposing their butts...

I thought it was their tails getting in the way.

[Vinnie]

I'll start worrying about addicted squirrels when they approach me with a weapon and ask me for money to support their habit.

Could be worse. They may demand your n@#$%. LOL

[Slings and Arrows]

The origin of flying squirrels

This guy tried to pull a rabbit out of his hat...

[Stoat]

I just really have a hard time not laughing while reading this bit of 'fiction'.

This is no laughing matter! Our entire civilization is under assault from drug-crazed squirrels who will remorselessly jump up and bite your kneecap when you are minding your own business, walking through a park or garden!  We must all educate ourselves to this grave threat and defend our homes and families!

[ByDesign]

Next, we'll be hearing of hedgehogs using the discarded needles from druggies in parks, and invading methadone clinics. I love squirrels! How dare they print such vile slander! LOL.

I mean, c'mon. Any chunk of crack worth stashing away (and who's EVER heard of a druggie not having his or her stash close and within eyesight), if ingested by such a small animal, would probably kill the squirrel instantly - that's if the squirrel actually found it appetizing! I sadly have smelled crack being smoked, and it's not a pleasant smell, I can only imagine the taste!

Seriously, this all sounds like a rejected Monty Python sketch.

[Stoat]

This guy tried to pull a rabbit out of his hat...

If he tried to pull a rabbit out of his hat and got a flying, drug-crazed squirrel instead, this suggests that the crack-ho squirrel menace has infiltrated the entertainment industry as well!

The horror!   Not even magicians are safe from this threat!

[Stoat]

I love law-abiding squirrels as well, but I have zero tolerance for the drug-crazed ones!  And if hedgehogs are getting into the drug scene as well, then all of nature will soon follow.  Will we have whales smoking pot through their blow-holes next?  This is terrible!

 

[Xenalyte]

I think it's pronounced "squeazel," and Tony Bourdain had to eat it when he visited Vietnam.

Now THAT'S good TV!

[Heatseeker]

I can deal with the crackhead squirrels, it's those damned possums building their meth labs that worry me...

[Stultis]

Crack squirrels are a recognised problem in America.

Only here they get their crack from Democrat election workers.

[SquirrelKing]

LOL! Thanks for the ping!

They have been known to attack park visitors in their search for a fix.

Just a convenient excuse...

[Centurion2000]

bump

[Stoat]